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« Our Column in the 6/17 Issue of Soap Opera Digest | Main | Darling Nikki »

June 10, 2008

Serenity Now

It's really weird that when the soon to be departed Leven Rambin started to play a dual role, it was all over the soap mags, but when Thorsten Kaye took on the role of Zach's nefarious twin, there was nary a press release about it.

...what? Oh, this isn't an evil double? That was supposed to be Zach acting like a total dickwad yesterday? Really? Oh.

I know that this may sound crazy, but you know how sometimes you'll be watching a show, and a character will say or do something and you'll remark to yourself (or the room at large, depending on how vociferously you disagree with what they have just said or done), "[Insert name here] would NEVER do that" with a great amount of conviction, as if they are not only not fictional, but like you also know them well enough to determine how they would or would not act? Am I the only person who does that? I swear I'm not crazy...

The thing is: I have watched Zach Slater do his thing for four years and have realized that there are certain things Zach Slater would never say or do, no matter what (or who!) Kendall does, or who he spends time trapped in an underground bomb shelter with and this is one of them:

Zach: But you like to test me, don't you? Like to push me away to make sure that I come back. Why do you do that? You know what scares me, Kendall Hart Slater? One day, you're going to push me too far. And I'm not coming back.

Granted, this is slightly better than the time another of Kendall's lovers told her she'd push someone too far one day, because this threat didn't end with imagery of her being choked to death, but still: hell fucking no.

I just...I can't believe that Zach Slater would say something like that to Kendall, who he loves wholeheartedly and unreservedly, even taking into account the fact that paralyzing insecurity is her dominant character trait. Not to mention, Kendall has already lived through a time where she didn't feel comfortable with Greenlee's relationship with her significant other and hello, that time ended when Greenlee relentlessly pursued and then married Ryan. He saw how fucked up the entire Ryan/Greenlee/Kendall triangle was! He repeatedly called Greenlee out on being a complete toxic lunatic! But because they spent some time underground in a hole, it invalidates every instance of bad behavior Greenlee has ever exhibited and he like "How dare you voice any sort of complaint against Greenlee, The Fairest Maiden to Ever...Be Fair"? If I'm stuck in an underground bunker with Spencer Pratt, am I going to come out saying "Lauren sucks! Buy Heidi's CD! Speidi's love is for real!!!" As if.

I refuse to acknowledge that this man is Zach Slater. Until he starts acting remotely Zachish, he will be known as...AC Morris.


The name thing?


You are SO not alone Mallory...I do the same thing...my neighbors totally think that I live with fictional characters.

And AC Morris? Genius!

This might be a slight correction on my part, but do you mean AC Slater or Zach Morris? Because that's what I saw on the Wiki page and I thought AC's last name was Slater anyway. I really have no love for Saved By The Bell (that show scarred my ways that I still haven't recovered from and cannot even begin to describe) but I could be wrong. I hope you mean the latter because it would a)make more sense since they have the same first name a b)I really couldn't stand Zach (the SBTB one)...he was a real smug douche.

Okay, I'm done now. Don't need to make it worse.

Heeeee. AC Morris. I'm currently ignoring AMC and therefore don't want to know the details of Zach's recent douchery. So for now, I'll do my whole LA LA LA CAN'T HEAR YOU thing and focus on the funny of AC Morris.

I think the problem is you. Everyone is forgetting that the Zendall that they know and love is really facing infidelity for the first time. Something of that magnitude changes how you respond to someone. You are less likely to forgive and it's easier to respond harshly to simple triggers. I can see how Zach would say that, it's exactly what Kendall does with all her relationships. I think it's more than natural for their relationship to experience a period of awkward relation after him learning that she slept with Aidan. I'm just glad they kept them together, instead of immediately breaking them up after the reveal. It makes for a more interesting story, because at some point, his response to her infidelity will become an issue in their relationship.

Kendull deserved it. Zach needs to go find out what a real woman is like. They never should had wasted him with her. Erica & Zach!

Charlie, I decided that since Zach already has Zack Morris's first name and AC Slater's last name, that his bizarro evil twin should have AC Slater's first name and Zack Morris's last name.

Incidentally, I am incredibly intrigued about the ways in which Saved By The Bell impacted your psyche.

J.H. James, I see what you are saying, but...I don't know, I guess the way I have always seen it is that it has been Zach and Kendall against the world a whole lot of times and it seems like it's okay when Zach is the one keeping secrets or being sketchy (like the faux affair with Dixie). I don't know. I just think this is really sloppy writing that is giving extra angst to a couple that has already had three years of nonstop misery and that the constant "Greenlee <3333" refrain is doing a big disservice to Zach and Kendall and Greenlee herself.

AC Morris! LOL! Brilliant. Every time I see Zach's name, I think of Saved by the Bell.

Mallory, excellent read. ICAM.

So many problems with the writing for Zach these days.

He's being passive agressive towards Kendall. I don't have a problem with that, I have a problem with him doing that while blaming all of their problems on her because he's supposedly so over it all and above it and better than it all. Except he's clearly not.

Kendall knows Greenlee is trying to undermine her marriage. Zach knows Greenlee is trying to undermine his marriage. They're both idiots to still want to be friends with her knowing that but Kendall didn't bring her breakfast and have a cozy sex chat and wax on about wanting to make her smile the morning after to repay her for her deeds - all while she was continuing to undermine. Who was doing that? Oh that was Zach aka AC Slater. Yet it's Kendall who is letting all the bad into their marriage all by her lonesome.

Who was that man acting like a lunatic when Ryan had a thing for Kendall earlier this year? It's okay for Zach to be insecure and to test Kendall. Speaking of Zach's tests, if Zach didn't send Aidan away with Kendall to keep Ryan and Kendall from doing as much as talking he sent him with her to test if she would sleep with Aidan if his reveal dialouge was any indication. Bodyguards and field trips aside, in all that time I think they had one disagreement (video field trip) where they agreed to disagree but which he ended up winning since she didn't talk to Ryan again until Zach decided Ryan was back in the fold. Kendall is honest about her feelings when he asks her to be but he shuts her down and lets her know she only has so much longer to burden him with her tests, etc. The double standard rung loud enough to almost deafen me.

The beauty of Zach and Zach in this relationship was he loved our beleagured anti-heroine for all that and who she was not despite it. Have they killed that Zach? Sadly, it feels like they have, long live AC Slater. Score two for magic holes of redemption.

"But because they spent some time underground in a hole, it invalidates every instance of bad behavior Greenlee has ever exhibited ... "

I swear, Mallory, sometimes I want to put you in my pocket and take you out on a rainy day as a pick-me-up. It's statements like this that make me feel like I'm not alone.

Why is Greenlee forgiven for stealing her best friend's baby? Why does her life suck more than a man who just came back from a war zone (a war zone he was in for YEARS, no the few weeks she spent in a bunker with my Zach)? Why when Greenlee steals her friend's fiance forever, Kendall is contiuously blasted but when Kendall screws up (royally, I don't deny it), Greenlee thinks everyone is out to get her?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm so sick of Greenlee. She and Lulu need to find some far away island where they can bitch each other out for stupid shit and leave everyone else alone.

I don't think it was particularly out of character for Zach. He may love Kendall, because of or despite her flaws, but that does not mean that he can easily dismiss her actions. I believe it could be explained as they are feeling the cumulative effect of years of angst.

He still seems to me to be a gray character, not Kendall's Prince Charming. Not being fan girly about Zach or Zendall, that's fine by me.

Really? REALLY?

This from a blogger who actively blames Tad for Greg Madden's murder.

It's great that you can acknowledge shitty writing and character choices for Zach, but let's face it... Tad didn't murder Greg Madden any more than Zach told Kendall she'd push him too far.

You can accept Tad Martin (TAD MARTIN?!?) as a murderer but not this from Zach Slater. Wow.

I am an irrational person on the best of days, Danny, and when you throw an excruciating heat wave into the mix, all sense of logic goes out the window with me!

I haven't really seen Tad as Tad Martin since, the Miranda fiasco anyway, for what it's worth. I just don't have a good name for this person. But also, I just like the character of Zach better than I like Tad (or at least Tad post-2004). I know it's crazy and kind of obnoxious, but that's just how I roll.

Mallory, I was just telling my sister yesterday that I can't wait for you to post about Zendall, because she called me after watching AMC and was like what the hell is up with this nu-Zach. It is crazy. I have hated Greenly from day one (even though I love Rebecca Budig since from her days on Guiding Light where she played my fave character during my preteen years Michelle). But Zach being all wonderful to he now just gets me so mad because he was the one to always call Greenlee out on her ahit. Now her gravitating towards him is typical Greenlee, but I thought Zach was different, I know he his.


I agree Mallory. Frankly the writing for Zendall right now is inconsistant. I'm geeting dizzy from all the mood swings. Why the both of them, who have brains and common sense would still be "friends" with someone who is clearly not their friend(she kidnapped their child for god sakes!!!!) is beyond me.
Plus let SOMEONE, ANYONE be allowed to call Greenlee on her sh!t. I know Rebecca's so "wonderful" and all, but Greenlee's not and those two should stop acting like she is. Did she put some hypnotical drug in their water when she weren't looking?

If AMC how allowed any of these relationships to develop naturally(a bomb shelter? grief sex?, please) and logically and true to a character's past behavior, this story line wouldn't be such a hard pill to swallow.

Move on already! Write something I can believe in and can root for them for because right

Plus, you have the fact that Zach was allowed to be so insecure about Ryan that he hired a freaking BODYGUARD to keep Ryan away from Kendall. But now Kendall isn't allowed to express her own insecurities about the woman who has already destroyed one of Kendall's relationships? That's assy. AC Morris is an ass.

Well, at least we both agree that this show sucks... except for Angie and Jesse.

Well Mallory, the reasons that SBTB has impacted me so much as you politely put it is because I was forced to watch it against my will by my younger brother who used to love watching it growing up. Yes, I am that old and with the exception of Slater's mini-fro, I never really got into the spirit of it to say the least.

Kind of like what the ABC soaps (except OLTL) are doing to me these days.

ARGHH! I was so furious yesterday watching Zach suck up to that cow Greenlee.

I am SO over Greenmee. I was beginning to warm up to SS's version but since disgustingly overhyped return of RB, the idiot writers have thrown everything & everyone under the giant bus of "She Who Can Do No Wrong"(as in trying to get custody of a child she basically abandoned, then kidnapping aforementioned child, causing same child's mother to go into deliver a premature infant who barely clung to life for weeks)...yet SWCDNW= Greenmee is unable to forgive her *BFF* for giving into grief upon losing husband and said BFF.

Now Zach is all about helping Greens & being her new confidante & BFF?? WTF...I mean seriously...WHO is this Zach person...its got to be his twin bro cause it certainly isn't "always only you forever" Zach.

Kendall certainly has her issues but on this she is right- Greens is out to cause major damage.

Greenlee needs to go. Please.

OMG! That is too funny- AC Morris. The first thing I thought of when Thorsten's character was introducted was Zach Morris and AC Slater. I literally laughed out loud (once again!) at your post because I "got" your evil twin name immediately!

Oh, and since I don't watch the show everyday, what's up with the promos that keep saying how Greenlee's best friend slept with her fiance' and it's some "in my imagination" clip of Aidan with a big smile on his face while Kendall is kissing his neck or something like that. GAG ME.

I'm still trying to figure out how Greenlee came to be the innocent victim in all of this?!

So I don't watch AMC and therefore really don't have an opinion on Zach and Kendall's relationship or any complete idiocy on Zach's part, but I totally see where you're coming from with the whole "he would NEVER say something like that!" sentiment. I do the same thing all the time. I yelled similar things at my television while watching the unfortunate demise of Nikolas and Emily's marriage on GH. There were multiple instances where I would think "Nikolas would never say/do that to Emily!" or "Emily would never shut Nikolas out like this!", so I feel as if I have some common ground for comparison, especially given the manner in which you characterized Zach and Kendall's relationship. Character assassination can be so aggravating to witness.

I wish that Greenlee would just go away. I think that the only reason R.B. came back is that she could not stand that S.S. was making Greenlee more likeable and she didn't like it!I am so sick of her and how she acts!!

ICA - I hate what is being done to Zach and Kendall at the expense of the babynapper baby maimer. Since the hole of GB redemption, there have been way to many WTF months between Zen and her. They shouldn't even be friends with her.

I wish TIIC would get a clue before it too late.

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