The Day's Dumbest Dialogue
I was trying to think of a way to best describe my continued horror at the Victor/Sabrina coupling because, "ew....ewewewewEW", while apt, isn't the most eloquent way to express my revulsion and I don't exactly know how to convey dry heaving through typing.
The best I can do is admit, without hesitation, that I'd rather watch an endless loop of John and Marlena makeout scenes whilst eating Dale Talde's butterscotch scallops than have to sit through the awkward grossness of Victor and Sabrina being lovey dovey. That may seem like a disproportionate response, but it's the truth!
It's bad enough that they paired a senior citizen with a possible transvestite young enough to be his daughter, but...who on earth is writing this dialogue? It reminds me of what a sixth grader would write in her Harry Potter fanfic, except it's more cloying and unlike anything human beings would ever say.
Victor: Yeah? You know that every time I drive home, I think of your beautiful face. I think of how lucky I am to have found you, and that you make me feel more alive than I have in a long time.
Sabrina: Your Marinara Sauce was the best sauce in the world.
Victor: Are you serious?
Victor: Was there too much basil or oregano? Whatever the hell you call it.
Sabrina: There was too much of both, but no, I'm joking. I loved it. It was perfect. [What the hell? Victor is so omnipotent that not even his FICTIONAL MARINARA SAUCE is anything but perfect?--Ed.]
Victor: I'm sure there was too much of both. You know what I love the most?
Victor: That you and I can have fun together.
Victor: It's so easy to have fun with you.
Victor: Mm. So glad you're back.
Sabrina: Oh, me, too. Mm. [Note: they have this exact conversation whenever they enter the same room or realize that they haven't said hello and made out in six minutes--Ed.]
Victor: But you tried to mend fences... and that's a wonderful thing.
Victor: You know who taught me that? You. [Bullfuckingshit. He's like 90 and a professional dick. I'm sure he's learned about fence mending, or at least pretending to mend fences, at some point in time before this--Ed.]
And the constant kissing! What IS this? It's so over the top that, on an actual soap with good writing and sense of storytelling, it would mean that they are both overcompensating and trying to convince themselves that this relationship is totally worth hurting their friends and family. But Y&R hasn't seen good writing and a sense of storytelling for a few years now, so that's obviously not the case.
The only way this story would even be partially redeemed would be if it turned out that Sabrina was completely playing Victor but since I've seen this show before, I know that story will never happen, because nothing happens on Y&R unless it involves giving Victor a tongue bath. I'm pretty sure Eric Braeden would storm off set if it turned out that Victor liked Sabrina more than she cared for him, so a story about Victor full on getting snowed isn't going to happen.