I Heart Schadenfreude
I wish that I could explain my blogging absence away by regaling you with stories about the interesting things I've been doing, but...I don't know, do "working" and "devouring the either awesomely bad or just plain awesome Pretty Little Liars series" and "being bored to the point of literal physical pain by soap operas" count as interesting? No? Oh. Okay. Sorry.
I had been so uninspired by All My Children that I kept putting off actually sitting down and watching it and then I realized I had, like, seven episodes to watch and then I did that thing I do where I occupy myself with minutia rather than subject myself to the combination of boring and awful that AMC excels in, but I couldn't avoid it forever, and I wound up watching them all in a row (foolish!) and it was kind of painful, to put it mildly. I'm still bitter that they recasted Colby and I don't understand why Randi takes up so much screen time and Babe having the audacity to complain AGAIN about the fact that Kendall and Greenlee do things like treat her, their employee, as an employee made me almost apoplectic, and, of course, I hate that they killed Richie off, because he had the potential to drive years and years of story, but I'm not quite ready to talk about it yet. Maybe once the mourning period ends...
But! What better to bring me out of my blogging hiatus than the brilliant, beautiful moment where Ryan Lavery had to hear, even for a moment, that the world does not revolve around him? And that no matter how long he pours his heart out for, his whims over who he loves today don't actually matter? I literally busted out with a Nelson Muntz HA-HA.
Greenlee: I love you, Ryan Lavery. I love you. For saving me for Aidan.
I mean, yes, we were subjected to an interminable amount of Ryan/Greenlee flashbacks in an attempt to--well, I guess they were trying to remind viewers of how great their love was. It merely made my headache even worse.
And, no, no human being would actually speak the worlds "I love you. For saving me for Aidan", because nobody outside of Danielle Steele novels talks like that. In any other situation, it would be a shoe in for The Day's Dumbest Dialogue. Who wouldn't say "Thank you for saving my life, because I kind of didn't want to die"? ESPECIALLY Greenlee! And even if they did say "Thank you for saving me, because now I can spend my life with my significant other", they wouldn't say it in such a horribly stilted way.
But in response to Ryan? Who now has to consider the fact that she is choosing someone else over him? It's as close to someone saying the words "Suck it, Lavery" as we are ever going to get on this show.