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« Just So You Know | Main | Night Shift Episode 2: Other People's Children »

July 30, 2008

I Need to Make a Macro for "That Was Anti-Climactic"...

I don't know if it's just residual bitterness over the fact that my long hoped for "Sabrina is ACTUALLY playing Victor" story won't ever see the light of day, but I am so not invested in this story about Sabrina's long, drawn out, tragic, long and long death.

Vigil

Maybe, as a General Hospital viewer, I've become so accustomed to soapy deaths that now I can't even muster up a mild form of sadness when characters get killed off. Maybe it's because I feel like the vigil over a comatose Victoria just ended and I'm all vigiled out. Or maybe I can't see past how rushed and silly this ENTIRE story arc has been since the moment Sabrina stepped foot into Genoa City in February and how I have never had one positive feeling about the character in her entire time on the show.

I don't know. Is it just me? Because I kind of feel like a completely horrible person for being all, "Um...so this has been going on for a while. Is she, you know, dead yet?" And I am not a completely horrible person. Partly horrible? Yes. Mostly horrible? Probably. But not completely horrible!

[Okay, fine, maybe I am completely horrible. Sue me.]

NUMBER OF TIMES VICTOR AND SABRINA CALLED EACH OTHER SWEETHEART DURING THE CONVERSATION AFTER SHE REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS:

5. Not to be ageist or anything, but sometimes it makes me think of Victor being a doddering old man who can't remember Sabrina's name and tries to cover by using terms of endearment. I know that even putting the thought that Eric Braeden is old out into the universe will make bad things happen to me, but it had to be said.

NUMBER OF TIMES I GAGGED AFTER THE LINE "IF ANYONE CAN CONVINCE GOD TO SAVE SABRINA, IT'S THAT MAN IN THERE"

8 (approximately; it's hard to keep track once the dry heaves start in earnest)

LIKELIHOOD THAT ERIC BRAEDEN WROTE THAT LINE HIMSELF:

85%

NUMBER OF SECONDS IT TOOK FOR VICTORIA TO MAKE SABRINA'S DEATH ALL ABOUT HER:

6

Victoria

I mean, seriously, I understand that her grief is making her feel guilty for acting like a petulant child during the entire length of Victor and Sabrina's relationship, but come on. I've seen toddlers who read rooms better than Victoria, who came across as "Guys! Guys! Stop it! Look! I was FRIENDS with her! We were like BEST FRIENDS. And then I got mad at her. But now I feel totes bad about the slander and hatred, and won't someone please pay attention to me?!"

NUMBER OF SECONDS I WAS STRUCK DUMB AFTER KATHERINE MENTIONED THAT VICTOR SECRETLY REVEALED THAT HE HAD HIS VASECTOMIES REVERSED BECAUSE, HELLO, HOW LAZY CAN THE WRITERS POSSIBLY BE TO SHOEHORN THAT IN SO RANDOMLY:

6,235

Kay: Victor told me he quietly had it reversed some time ago, Nikki

!!!!???!!!

The only thing more blatantly lazy would be having Jeanne Cooper speak directly to the camera and say "The writers completely assed this one up, as they often do, so just go with it". And at least that would be entertainingly lazy.

DID I GUFFAW OR CACKLE WHEN NEIL MILDLY [BECAUSE IT'S NEIL] SMACKED ADAM DOWN?

Cackle. Only interesting characters elicit actual guffaws, but for Neil, his reminder that Adam is not the boss of him wasn't too shabby. Adam is truly his father's son, though, because I can't think of anybody else who would have the balls to ask a high ranking company executive to go to New York to look for his missing girlfriend.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DO I LOVE MELODY THOMAS SCOTT FOR GOING WITHOUT MAKEUP WHEN THE STORY CALLS FOR IT UNLIKE SOME OTHER ACTRESSES WHOSE CHARACTERS WOULD BE HOSPITALIZED IN FULL MAKEUP AND TIFFANY JEWELS?

12. Or more. She is awesome.

Nikki3

SPEAKING OF FULL MAKEUP, WHO ON EARTH DOES THE MAKEUP ON THIS SHOW?

Sabrinahospital_2

Because Raya Meddine would have been saved MONTHS of comments about her somewhat draggish appearance if people didn't use bulldozers to apply her cosmetics. I'm just saying.

Comments

Oh, come on! Characters being hospitalized in full make up and Tiffany jewels is what makes soaps what they are! :)

That and women waking up in bed after a night of wild sex with lipstick not only still on, but not even smeared.

OK, I am embarrassed to admit this, but I'm secretly hoping Sabrina will live.

You know when I saw this storyline being pimped out on Oxygen's....ruining my perfectly good Steel Magnolias buzz....I couldn't stop my eyes rolling from the repeated OTT soapy cliche lines...."I don't think Victor will ever recover if he looses her." "I will find out who is behind this accident." My eyes got stuck in the back of my head from the commerical alone. So I'm with you Mallory...is she gone yet? Cause nothing should harsh a good chick flick buzz

One thing I LOVED about this show? Seeing Jill lay the smackdown on that smug assed Brad.

Since I don't often watch this show, I had no idea they were killing her off. I just don't get why they brought her in and did that OTT wedding just so they could kill her off. Is Mr. Braeden looking for Emmy clips already?

"...MELODY THOMAS SCOTT FOR GOING WITHOUT MAKEUP WHEN THE STORY CALLS FOR IT..."

I agree, she is awesome. Actually, MTS looks younger and prettier without the heavy makeup, in my opinion.

I also did not know they were killing her off. It helps to watch, but I can usually keep up with the big events, and this one slid right on by. The Hell? Sure the character was unsuccessful, useless and annoying, but why can't people just leave? Why can't Victor come to the realization that he made a rash, impulsive, ego-driven, lust-fueled mistake and get a divorce? I'm with Jes Saint, this is indeed Emmy bait. The problem is Eric Braden is AWFUL in these kind of emotion-filled and over-wrought storyline.

Peter Bergman could totally rock this--I know this because he's Peter Bergman and has already done this storyline. Except it was good. The major difference, Peter Bergman aside, was the structure of the story. Jack's marriage to Luan could never, ever be characterized as rash or hasty, despite the time frame because the writers actually retconned a brand new backstory that made sense and took the time to set it before Luan even appeared. So when you consider that Jack had fallen in love with Luan 20 years before, (while he was fighting in the Vietnam war) that they had been tragically separated, (each thinking the other had died) stumbled across each other by chance, (Luan was operating a restaurant in Genoa City) and have Jack learn that Luan had borne his baby (at the time, Jack's first and only child, Keemo) you could understand why they wouldn't wait to marry. They've lost 20 years, why wait one more minute? All this made Luan's death, only a few months later incredibly poignant and heartfelt and Peter Bergman killed those scenes. Eric Braden, IMO, doesn't have what it take to pull off that kind of pathos and this crap story doesn't support it.

I'm in the "is she dead yet?" camp. I may even crack a celebratory beer when she's pronounced. I'm kinda sad it wasn't Victor who died, though. I do have to point out that this is the exact same way that AMC killed off Julia Kieffer, though. Laying in the hospital, smiling stoically while her life's blood leaks out of her irrepairably lacerated liver. Except that Julia was a character people gave a shit about, and her death wasn't an excuse for what I fear, on Y&R, will be a long, drawn-out, OTT, Victor-centric revenge/retribution s/l. Still and all, I'm only watching for EB's certain-to-be-overwrought-ridiculous-Emmy-reel-reaction to the loss of his ... whatever.

I'm in the "is she dead yet?" camp. I may even crack a celebratory beer when she's pronounced. I'm kinda sad it wasn't Victor who died, though. I do have to point out that this is the exact same way that AMC killed off Julia Kieffer, though. Laying in the hospital, smiling stoically while her life's blood leaks out of her irrepairably lacerated liver. Except that Julia was a character people gave a shit about, and her death wasn't an excuse for what I fear, on Y&R, will be a long, drawn-out, OTT, Victor-centric revenge/retribution s/l. Still and all, I'm only watching for EB's certain-to-be-overwrought-ridiculous-Emmy-reel-reaction to the loss of his ... whatever.

For comparison's sake, recently on OLTL it took Nash about one day to get mortally wounded and linger in a hospital and about two to three days for the funeral, so I think you've got reasons to complain.

I don't watch Y&R nor know anything about it (besides what I gleam from your posts) except Eric Braden's petulant attitude toward how Victor is written, but I've been entertained by your thoughts on this storyline. We can only hope in the end Sabrina's tombstone will read, "ONLY THE REAPER HIMSELF COULD EVER CAUSE A YOUNG, SMART, AND BEAUTIFUL WOMAN TO LEAVE ME, ERIC BRADEN VICTOR NEWMAN."

Eric Braden and Maurice Benard should be the leads of a reality show about self obsessed soap actors who eat through their scenes miserably decade after decade. They could pull clips and compare who is mightier and who is better w/ the ladies and who is better at revenge and who is a better self proclaimed mega daddy extraordinaire and who has been more successful at making millions etc.... They could also compete about being the biggest cry babies about being the stars of their shows even though most fans hate them! How they can bitch and moan to the press and yet they remain painfully in the forefront of two once great shows. Then the best competitons, The Mumble Off and the Moody Brooding Duh Face Idiot Debate and finally they could box one another in all their man boob thinks they are hot stuff fist to cuffs!

If they injure one another enough we could get a few weeks free of them on air!!!!!


LOL! I loved your comments about EB and MB, Sarah. But how would they have time to do the reality show? They're too busy laughing all the way to the bank...sigh.

What annoys me most about this whole pathetic story line is that TIIC have managed to have everyone suddenly dumping on Nikki and blaming Nikki because David was a murderous scum bag.

What is MOST annoying is that this is apparently NOT the first time that Nikki has fallen in love with and then married a murdering creep. By this time, I figure that TIIC owed Nikki, Nikki's fans AND the general viewing public a story about a woman who had been smart enough to learn from previous mistakes. But --- NO! Here was Nikki - all stupid once again - needing to be rescued by Paul and Victor! TIIC get the UGH! award for that redundancy alone!

Now - for what annoys me on a personal level -- YEARS ago - my first husband was actually attempting to 'get rid of his wife' (me) with extreme prejudice. He made what I believed were at least a couple of attempts (tampered with the brakes on my car). To make a long story short, my kids accidentally discovered letters between my then-husband and various of his girlfriends in which different plots for 'getting rid of' his wife were discussed!

Once the kids had discovered the letters, (thankfully during a time when said 'husband' was on a business trip), I called around until I found a good lawyer. The lawyer suggested that I make copies of the letters, put the letters back in the trunk of my 'husband's' car and return the car to the airport parking lot. (I had picked HIS car up because my car was in the garage. Garage mechanics later confirmed that what was wrong with my car was that someone had tampered with it!) The attorney recommended that I make TWO copies of all of the letters, then call my local law enforcement and make one set of copies available to them.

When the young (about 18 years old!) police officer arrived and took my statement and collected one set of the copies, I wondered WHEN the police would be able to pick my then-husband up for 'attempted murder.' Unfortunately, since the first (documented) incident of someone tampering with my car had taken place in another state, prior to our move to Colorado - the local police could NOT count that as an attempt on my life. The police officer pointed out that, technically, it is NOT illegal to exchange letters with other parties PLOTTING a murder!!! It is ONLY illegal to actually carry through on some of the plans! However, the police officer DID assure me that IF they discovered my body in a ditch one fine day, they WOULD know that the FIRST person they should bring in for questioning would be my 'husband!' I complained that MY objective was to avoid BECOMING the unidentified body in a ditch and he regretfully informed me that there was NOTHING he could do in that regard!

Fast forward through the divorce - where my attorney advised me that bringing up the letters spelling out the various murder plots which my then-'husband' had developed with various girlfriends, probably would NOT help my case all that much. My ex-husband then married one of the girlfriends with whom he had been corresponding, Later, while he was apparently in the process of divorcing her, he managed to obtain custody of her adopted daughter from a previous marriage. Following one of the little girl's visitations with her 'Dad,' the little girl apparently told her mother about 'Daddy getting into bed with me,' and the next wife confronted her 'husband' with the little girl's statements while they were meeting in a public burger joint. He proceeded to beat her up right there in the eatery and the burger joint personnel called the police. As far as I know, that was the ONLY time that my former 'husband' ever landed in jail! As the two of them battled it out in court, the little girl was removed from BOTH parents and assigned to the care of Social Services Child Welfare department. The little girl spent the rest of her teen years in the care of the Social Services Child Welfare department.

In a word - my ex-husband NEVER spent a day in jail for the various plots which he had devised for 'getting rid of' me - NOR for the couple of times he had probably attempted to carry through on some of those plans.

Incidentally, MANY years later, the 'young' police officer who informed me that he could NOT make any arrests on the basis of the letters between my then-'husband' and his girlfriends, plotting my early demise - was HIMSELF killed in a shoot-out at a local grocery store. The shoot-out was precipitated by an angry spouse who had brought a gun into his wife's work place (the grocery store) and had proceeded to shoot her as well as her manager and a couple of her co-workers before a nearby off-duty police officer noticed the commotion and shot it out with the angry husband. The victims who died that day included the angry ex-husband, the former wife, her manager at the grocery store AND the off-duty police officer who had intervened! (The off-duty policeman happened to be the SAME officer who had collected a set of my 'husband's' letters and taken my statement YEARS before!)

Admittedly, the LAST incident had NOTHING to do with my ex-'husband' or his various plots to 'get rid of' his wife - but it certainly COULD have!

The bottom line is that women who are married to men who are plotting murder have absolutely NO control over the situation. And even if Nikki had discovered letters between David and anyone else - in which they were plotting Nikki's early demise - neither Nikki NOR the police would have been able to do anything about the situation.

Since there are SO MANY women internationally who are the victims of murderous husbands - it just seems to me that a show which CLAIMS that it has a RIGHT to be the nation's number one rated soap COULD have come up with a better story line THIS time around for Nikki!

I certainly did NOT go out and repeat the SAME mistake a second time! I am just an ordinary person - not someone with the apparently considerable talents which Nikki Newman is supposed to have! If I could learn from my FIRST mistake - then a show about Nikki having learned from HER first mistake should certainly have been at least POSSIBLE for Y&R's 'writing' team.

The good-looking, romantic guy who comes to a soap town and turns out to be a psychotic murderer is soooo 'been there - done that' for the average soap viewer. There were MANY ways that TIIC could have gone with the Nikki and David story. It is too bad that TIIC chose the most-thread-bare path on the soap opera landscape! Y&R is CAPABLE of something better, the average soap viewer DESERVES something better - and even those who have NEVER been fans of the Nikki Newman character deserved SO much better than this thread-bare plot!

But having everyone dump on NIKKI because her HUSBAND was a psychotic killer is just so far below par that it makes me personally gag every time I hear about it!

Sincerely, Deborah


This is what I find rather ironic about the whole David Chow storyline, Victor keeps blaming Nikki for bringing him into their lives, when in fact, HE is the one who hired David to run Jack's campaign when Chow came to town seeking revenge for Carmen Mesta's death. Had he not done that, David would have been long gone, no doubt. I hate it when the writers don't know the character's history and sure they could knitpick and say they meant she brought him into the family, but again, had Victor not found a reason to keep him in town, this never would have happened.

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