Does It Count As "Soul Searching" If You Don't Actually Have a Soul?
I wouldn't go that far, Old Vic.
Whenever Victor experiences pain, he hightails it out of Genoa City to go on the "Victor Newman is experiencing the gravest grief to ever grieve" world tour. In some cases, like last year when he ditched his family as they mourned for Nicholas so that he could go find his other son, it's a way for Eric Braeden to take a vacation, so we get a nice break from Victor.
If only we were that lucky this time around! No, we get to see him while he mourns his child bride, and while his family misses him, as though he doesn't pull this shit once a year and as if any of them really like him in the first place. We are unfortunately with him EVERY step of the way.
WATCH as he, the world famous mogul, disguises himself with a baseball hat!
LISTEN as Christian LeBlanc speaks this cheesy line without choking!
We both know that Victor could not be taken down without putting up the battle of a lifetime...
MARVEL as Victor wears the outfit he and Jason Morgan hold so dearly, taking a moment to stop and sashay around with a basket of roses, almost as though he is going to burst into song!
WONDER, who would win in a contest for the Most Perfect Character On Daytime, Jason or Victor?
GET CREEPED OUT as Victor weirds out a little girl!
LAUGH at how unimpressed she is!
She'd change her tune if she knew that he built [Newman Enterprises] from the ground up, I bet.
VOMIT as Nikki and Michael continue to praise the perfection that is Victor Newman
Nikki: Michael and I were just talking about your father's will to survive.
Michael: It's a force of nature. It's incredible.
STARE IN SHOCK as Victor turns a little girl into his errand runner!
ASK YOURSELF: do you think this little girl winds up being higher paid and better treated than Neil?
SEE Nikki go on a downward spiral as she nearly orgasms just holding a drink
before throwing it away outdoors (??)
and, perhaps most troubling of all, wears a hair clip not seen on television since the episode of Full House where Danny forbids DJ from hanging out with Kimmy only to have Kimmy save the day when Danny finds himself in jail due to cross-dressing related hijinx!
Because as a billionaire's ex-wife and businesswoman in her own right, you'd think that Nikki would have access to enough cash to buy herself some halfway stylish hair accessories or at least a minion who would point out her fashion faux pas.
SIT ENRAPTURED as Victor eats peanuts [not a euphemism]!
I do have to admit that I loved Jack's reaction (shocking, right?) on Friday's show to Victor getting out of dodge:
Jack: He's disappeared.
Sharon: What? He's disappeared, like you think something bad happened to him?
Jack: The Moustache? I doubt it. You could drop a nuclear bomb on Genoa City; only Victor and the cockroaches would survive
Hee! That has been the sole legitimately entertaining part of this story thus far. That's damning with faint praise, but you know what I mean.