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« Passions Nostalgia: How Many Morons Does it Take To Open an Envelope? | Main | Forget Lulu, I'M The One on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown »

August 11, 2008

Does It Count As "Soul Searching" If You Don't Actually Have a Soul?


I wouldn't go that far, Old Vic.

Whenever Victor experiences pain, he hightails it out of Genoa City to go on the "Victor Newman is experiencing the gravest grief to ever grieve" world tour. In some cases, like last year when he ditched his family as they mourned for Nicholas so that he could go find his other son, it's a way for Eric Braeden to take a vacation, so we get a nice break from Victor.

If only we were that lucky this time around! No, we get to see him while he mourns his child bride, and while his family misses him, as though he doesn't pull this shit once a year and as if any of them really like him in the first place. We are unfortunately with him EVERY step of the way.

WATCH as he, the world famous mogul, disguises himself with a baseball hat!


LISTEN as Christian LeBlanc speaks this cheesy line without choking!

We both know that Victor could not be taken down without putting up the battle of a lifetime...

MARVEL as Victor wears the outfit he and Jason Morgan hold so dearly, taking a moment to stop and sashay around with a basket of roses, almost as though he is going to burst into song!


WONDER, who would win in a contest for the Most Perfect Character On Daytime, Jason or Victor?

GET CREEPED OUT as Victor weirds out a little girl!


LAUGH at how unimpressed she is!

She'd change her tune if she knew that he built [Newman Enterprises] from the ground up, I bet.

VOMIT as Nikki and Michael continue to praise the perfection that is Victor Newman

Nikki: Michael and I were just talking about your father's will to survive.

Michael: It's a force of nature. It's incredible.

STARE IN SHOCK as Victor turns a little girl into his errand runner!



ASK YOURSELF: do you think this little girl winds up being higher paid and better treated than Neil?

SEE Nikki go on a downward spiral as she nearly orgasms just holding a drink


before throwing it away outdoors (??)


and, perhaps most troubling of all, wears a hair clip not seen on television since the episode of Full House where Danny forbids DJ from hanging out with Kimmy only to have Kimmy save the day when Danny finds himself in jail due to cross-dressing related hijinx!


Because as a billionaire's ex-wife and businesswoman in her own right, you'd think that Nikki would have access to enough cash to buy herself some halfway stylish hair accessories or at least a minion who would point out her fashion faux pas.

SIT ENRAPTURED as Victor eats peanuts [not a euphemism]!



I do have to admit that I loved Jack's reaction (shocking, right?) on Friday's show to Victor getting out of dodge:

Jack: He's disappeared.
Sharon: What? He's disappeared, like you think something bad happened to him?
Jack: The Moustache? I doubt it. You could drop a nuclear bomb on Genoa City; only Victor and the cockroaches would survive

Hee! That has been the sole legitimately entertaining part of this story thus far. That's damning with faint praise, but you know what I mean.


It's so funny to see all the little Newman's go on the "it's all my fault" stampede. Victoria: i'ts all my fault! if only I had I been nice to Sabrina...my best friend!

Nick: No it's all my fault. My magazine wrote the article on Sabrina. If only I could've stopped jack!

Nikki: No you two. It's all my fault. I should have never let that man into our lives. Victor is a saint and we've trespassed against him!

I just wish Rachel Dratch could play Debbie Downer and come in at the end and say: Actully, it's all of your faults, equally. Here's a gun.

Maybe Old Vic can find Drucilla while he's on another search for... What the fuck does Victor actually do on these sojourns? Try to find himself? Try to find a cure for cancer? Try to find himself even more appealing? Seriously, he is the biggest asshole on daytime, and I just wish Nikki, Victoria, and everyone else would realize that Sabrina dying (agonizingly over several long and pointless days) doesn't change the fact that he is in fact still the same self-worshiping asshole that he's always been. If I have to hear Nikki, Michael, Nick, or Katherine (!?!) praise him again I might not watch for a few weeks. Seriously, Katherine Chancellor should know better.

This effing show.

Oh geez, maybe this grumpy old mogul can land his private jet on a farm somewhere bucolic and slowly reawaken to fall in love with a wise... this time DEAF woman etc.... He'll be reborn picking berries and helping her mend the fence line. Not that she needs help, she's deaf, not weak, and can do fine on her own. Don't let her delicate beauty fool you Vic, she's your saviour.

Hey Bell's, can you spell patronizing and DULL?

VOMIT redux. Is this where we're headed again, really?

Jack is the only character left I like on this show. He's right, Victor is a cockroach!

just wondering when you guys are going to post about general hospital again (not nightshift) its been two weeks! i miss your recaps and your witty commentary.

Why won't that hat fit his head properly? Too much hair shellac?

Jason vs Victor? Ok that's a column that woudl be made of epic win....please tell me your considering that!

Seriously, I don't even watch Y&R and I'm aggravated by Victor and, God forgive me, his portrayer. Every time you pick up a soap mag, which I only browse in grocery stores and will continue to only browse in grocery stores, as opposed to actually buying, until such time as what's-her-face that's the editor of SOW and does the IOMO column in SOD realizes that CARLY AND SONNY AND JASON ARE WRECKING ALL THINGS GH-THERE ARE NO MORE GOOD STORIES TO DO W/THEM B/C THEY'VE BEEN "PERFECTED" INTO OBSOLESCENCE-LET IT GO ALREADY. DAMNIT! What was I saying? Oh, yeah, every time I pick up a soap mag to browse, there is Eric Braden telling us how awesome both he and Victor are, and how he's thinking of throwing a hissy fit and quitting (oh, the money I bet the Y&R viewers would pay.....) if another writer/producer/catering manager ever DARES to imply that Victor is less than the Second Coming of Our Lord. I mean, when I was a kid, I became a soap junkie while watching w/my aunts-but VICTOR is one of the reasons that the aunt I wanted to watch w/was the one who watched NBC instead of CBS. He was grating, boring, and aggravating even THEN, in the early-mid 80's......and I don't think he's changed his damn hair since then, either, w/his damn porn 'stache in 2008.

I am loving Y&R these days, but I do feel that Victor is the "Sonny" of Y&R. I do believe that Victor should not be worshipped on the show and should lose. I hope that Jack wins over Victor and make Victor realizes that the world does not evolve around him.

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