Is There a Government Bailout for Creative Bankruptcy?
You guys know that, in general, I avoid spoilers. While I would like to say that my reasons for doing so are as well-thought-out as Mallory's, in truth lately they are really just a combination of laziness and early-onset senility. I can't be bothered to track down spoilers from the various sources, plus I fear I would forget what had actually happened versus what I read in a spoiler. (I forgot my zip code for a good ten minutes the other day. I mean, really.) But certain spoilers are unavoidable, especially if they appear in that publication that is crazy enough to continue to pay us to spout off our wacky opinions. So that's how I came across this most recent Days spoiler -- perusing the breaking news pages of Soap Opera Digest. I'm sitting there, innocently flipping the pages, looking for a James Scott or Jason Thompson two-full-page shirtless photo (as I always do), when I read the news that has me convinced that the Days of Our Lives writers are, without question, out of ideas.
Spoiler after the jump. (I think there is a promo out about this already so maybe it's not much of a spoiler, but just in case, don't click through if you want to remain pristine. In which case -- aren't you cute?)
So here's the deal: Both Sami and Nicole are pregnant by EJ.
While I have no trouble believing that
James Scott EJ Wells is virile enough to impregnate half the town without even trying, these storylines are a terrible idea. First of all, Sami doesn't need any more babies! She needs anger management therapy, and voice modulation coaching, and to read a number of books on how to move the fuck on and have new and more interesting conversations, but she does NOT need another baby. She has two under the age of one already, and a nearly grown son that is one of the few non-SORASed kids in soaps. I'm sure they're writing this in because Ali Sweeney is pregnant but truly, I wish soap execs would think more of their viewers than that we can't possibly wrap our tiny little brains around the idea that an actress can be pregnant while her character is not. (Remember Sweeney's last pregnancy? I still get the shakes when I think about Stan. Morons.)
I'm actually fine with the idea of Nicole having a DiMera baby, but -- and I wasn't watching regularly back then so forgive me if I've misunderstood -- wasn't there some irreparable damage to her lady bits that prevented her from ever getting pregnant? Yet one romp in an elevator with EJ and she's Fertile Mertyl? If I were the preachy type, I'd go off on how that kind of nonsense is pretty insulting to women everywhere who are dealing with actual fertility issues.
And EJ. Gah. Do the writers have the same "OMG James Scott with babies is the cutest thing evah!!!" reaction that I do and they just couldn't help but throw a whole passel full of new infants in his general direction? What the hell is this show doing saddling its hottest leading man with three freaking babies? Not to mention, he's semi-evil. The more kids you bring into his orbit, the less acceptable and forgiveable his shades of gray are. If this means EJ gets Disneyfied and we get "treated" to "fun" montages of him struggling to change multiple diapers while figuring out how to assemble a toy, much like we were with Steve during that whole Pocket mess, I will . . . well, I can't stop watching, so I'll just look even less forward to watching this show than I already do. Which I really didn't think was possible.
I suppose it is within the realm of possibility that this thing could turn out to be soapily fabulous. But I doubt it. Mostly because the most interesting thing I saw in the 1-2pm time slot over the last two weeks was a dog that can do math (on Oprah via Tivo). Seriously, that dog was AMAZING. They should totally get him on Days. He's unexpected and entertaining, plus he's probably been fixed so he's unlikely to knock up half the town.