Night Shift Episode 9: About a Dad
Previously on Night Shift, Robin asked Robert to move in with her while he's recuperating from his surgery and undergoing chemotherapy;
Izzie Claire fell for her hottie patient Denny Ryan, but then he died while trying to donate two of his four kidneys to benefit charity (moral: being a good person does not pay!); Epiphany and Billy Dee started one of the least interesting romances in soap history; and a distraught Claire had a couple of drinks and made out with "Leo" at Jake's.
Claire shows up at work presumably for the first time since Ryan died (everyone is walking on eggshells around her), but she has bigger fish to fry than some dead pseudo-boyfriend, no matter how hot he was. 1) She slept with "Leo," 2) Her hair is a wreck and she's even messing up the easiest hair trick ever, the headband, and 3) Her handbag is fugly, including a rhinestone-studded strap. I truly do not understand how, with the myriad options available, people end up with ugly handbags. It's one of life's great mysteries.
An awkward moment ensues when Kyle wants to know where Claire was this morning (she claims she was in her room, just sleeping really soundly), while almost simultaneously a few feet away Saira wants to know how "Leo"'s night off was. She "jokes" that he must have gone to a strip club and ended up in bed with a hooker (note: jokes are supposed to be funny), but he says he just went to Jake's and went home early. Which is not, I suppose, necessarily a lie.
Robert arrives at Robin's via a wheelchair hotly pushed by Patrick. Robert says the place is "cozy," which anyone who has ever looked for a place to rent knows is code for "freaking tiny," but if that's what Robert meant then he has clearly never been to Manhattan. (Which depending on the day you watch OG GH, is either a quick car ride or lengthy helicopter ride away from Port Charles.) Anyway, Robin has the place decked out with a hospital bed, grab bar in the bathroom, and nurse who will visit every night. She's given Robert her bedroom, which he decides to check out. Patrick hotly says he has to get back to work, after mentioning a couple of things around the apartment that he's taken care of for her. As he hotly leaves, Robin reminds him they have a check-up in the morning. And she says he's forgetting something, which he hotly interprets to be a kiss goodbye, which he hotly bestows, but it turns out she means the new couch. These two and their couch discussions! He hurriedly says it's "great, perfect" and jets off to his laughably improbable job as chief of staff at a major hospital.
Jagger and Stone arrive back at their hotel room, chatting about the fossils that Stone loves. Suddenly, in the middle of talking about one of his favorite rocks, Stone falls over and hits his head. Jagger rushes to his son and sees that his head is bleeding. Jagger is shocked and scared. Or he saw a ghost. Or he heard a firecracker.
Robin is running Robert's nurse through emergency contact numbers and other important information, to which Robert would like to add that the couch sucks. Hee. Poor Robin and her luck with couches. Anyway, Robert thinks he's going to check into a hotel and charmingly refers to room service and a mini-bar. Robin tells the nurse that Robert "means well, he's just stubborn." The nurse thinks they'll do just fine. Robin assures Robert that the bathroom is sanitized and the nurse will keep it that way, which is kind of an icky and unnecessary reference, but whatever. It tees up Robert mentioning his colostomy bag, which I guess was the point. Robin's phone rings and it's Jagger. Jagger is distraught about Stone's fall. Robin tells him to call 911, which he already has. Thank god, because if the FBI agent had called his little brother's former girlfriend before the police, I would think some real-life apparent dimness might be rubbing off on the character. Jagger is incredibly upset and worried but trying to stay calm, and I must give Antonio Sabato Jr. props because truly, Jagger seems incredibly uset and worried while trying to stay calm. Robin tells Jagger she'll meet them at the hospital. Robert tells her "Nurse Izzie" will keep him company and Robin shouldn't put her life on hold for him. With that, Robin's off.
The EMTs and Jagger wheel Stone into the ER on a stretcher. Patrick the -- let me stifle my giggles for a minute here -- chief of staff, neurologist, and ER attending physician, wants to know what happened. Stone wakes up with an adorable "Daddy?" and Jagger starts explaining to Patrick about Stone's collapse. Patrick hotly orders some tests and drugs and asks Jagger to stay in the waiting area. He does, distraught, which is what Robin sees when she rushes in.
"Leo" is dealing with a patient who needs his second angioplasty since last summer (um, that doesn't sound ideal) and Claire is assisting him. Or should I say, she's distracted and not really keeping up, but she's there. "Leo" heads into the hall and Claire follows, where she informs him that last night was a huge mistake. He is her attending, plus Kyle would be furious, etc. "Leo" agrees. Nobody needs to know, they'll just forget it ever happened! Sure, that always works.
Saira is talking to Kyle about his interest in the integration of western and eastern medicine, and though I'm sure you all know I am loathe to be right, I was so right in the first recap about this actress' delivery eventually driving me batty. She has a strange sing-songy quality that sounds to me, for lack of any other explanation, kind of like a stoned non-British Mary Poppins. Anyway, Saira is starting a project that she thinks Kyle would be perfect for, and like a big dork he immediately jumps at the opportunity. Said opportunity turns out to be a breast milk bank, to explore medicinal uses of breast milk. Okay, I know I shouldn't be grossed out by that, but I totally am. It's juice, squeezed from a person! Between this episode and this story, I am non-traditional-uses-for-breast-milk'd out for the week, thank you.
Jagger looks in on Patrick hotly attending to Stone. He asks Robin what's wrong, and Robin says Stone most likely had a seizure. Gee, I hope she's right, because that's kind of a severe thing to tell a parent without having examined his kid. Jagger goes into Stone's room and Patrick hotly confirms that Stone will be fine -- it was a little cut with a lot of blood -- and that he'll explain more about what happened after Jagger has some time to sit with Stone. Stone wakes up. Damn, this child is unbelievably adorable. Jagger asks Stone whether he knows that Jagger loves him. Stone adorable says yes and turns away.
In the hallway, Patrick hotly explains to Jagger that seizures are quite common in children with autism. I can't believe I'm typing this, but: I did not know that. I just learned something from a soap opera. Anyway, Saira has appeared and she and Patrick weirdly go back-and-forth, sentence-by-sentence, explaining more about the diagnosis. Robin pipes in that there has to be more research they can do, but Patrick (appropriately, I think) cuts her off to ask if Jagger, as the parent, has any questions. He does: "Why my son?" Saira adopts Jagger's speech patterns from last week: "Jagger, LISten, I've WORKED with Stone. So I can tell you that he's an exCEPTional child. You KNOW that. It's just that we may have to look at these seizures as something that's a part of your lives now." Jagger looks really angry -- seriously, furious -- which is I'm assuming not exactly what lovely Antonio was going for.
Kyle is examining a breast pump, which Epiphany informs him is the top of the line. Kyle -- the doctor, who is not 12 and not me -- says he thinks he's going to be sick. Good lord. Anyway, this prompts the skeeviest moment of the season so far, so buckle in your anti-gag seatbelts, kids!
Billy Dee: Well now, son, breasts are a beautiful thing. All those different shapes and sizes.
Ephiphany: Toussaint! Don't you have somewhere to be?
Billy Dee: ::dirtily cackles:: I'll see you later.
I truly cannot convey how uncomfortable Billy Dee Williams' delivery of those lines made me. Ugh. Anyway, this little exchange causes Claire and Kyle to realize that Epiphany and Billy Dee are dating, which she admits with a giggle like a schoolgirl. I'm sorry, I find this relationship utterly charmless and uninteresting.
Patrick hotly informs Jagger that Stone will need more tests tomorrow, but Jagger can take Stone home for the night. Robert's nurse, Izzie, meanwhile sprints off the elevator to see Robin.
Robin: Why aren't you with my dad?
Izzie: Agent Scorpio said he detected a possible bomb in the apartment. He had me evacuate and told me to meet him here.
Patrick and Jagger: ::exchange hilarious how-dumb-is-this-woman glances::
Robin: He can't be alone.
Izzie: Well, he didn't want me to be with THE BOMB.
Robin: There's no b....just, it's fine...
Patrick: Thank you very much for your help. We'll take it from here.
Oh, isn't Nurse Izzie precious? Robin takes off to make sure Robert isn't getting into too much trouble. Jagger and Patrick make small talk about Robert, with Patrick hotly saying he would do anything for Robin, and Jagger telling Patrick that Robin is an amazing, beautiful woman and he doesn't know what he would have done without her. Patrick, to his credit, doesn't seem jealous for once, just acknowledges that he's a lucky guy.
Oh god, that fucking Pastore commercial again. I swear I hate that thing more than . . . well, not more than GH itself, but at least more than some other shitty and irritating things on TV. Like, say, Kenley on Project Runway.
Back at Robin's, Robert is trying to convince Robin that he's going to check into the "Port Chuck Hotel," which Robin informs him burned down years ago. This reference of course causes me to remember that fucking six-week long sweeps event, in which Courtney the dog-rescuing heroine was rewarded with a bajillion dollars and how very much I must have hated that character when I could not even like her when she was rescuing an adorable dog from certain death. If I had, at the time, been familiar with the internet acronym DIAF, I would have eagerly and unrepentantly used it for Courtney in that situation. Because, seriously, I HATED her. Bravo, monkey virus. Bra.Vo.
Ahem, it appears I got off-topic. Robin has to get back to work so directs Robert to stay put, take a nap, and not touch anything. Yeah, those sound like good instructions to give a super-spy. Robert agrees, wondering outloud when he became a child.
Jagger -- who was fully clothed through this entire episode, I must sadly note -- with Stone in tow approaches Patrick at the nurses' station and wonders whether it isn't a little too soon for tests for Stone. Patrick hotly says he thinks Stone is ready and then uber-hotly gives Stone a rock-collecting kit. Stone is over the moon for it, which brings a smile to Robin's face as she arrives. Patrick and Stone take off to play with the kit, which leaves Jagger to tell Robin that she's lucky to have Patrick because being a single parent is tough. Robin says that before, she thought she could do "all this" on her own, but looking at Jagger, she's not so sure. Well, that's kind of a crappy thing to say, but Kimberly McCullough played it light on the bitchiness, so I will let that pass. Jagger says he hasn't slept all night, and he's been talking with the insurance company all morning. They are not going to cover Stone's autism treatment because it's "not medical." All told, this is going to cost him $50K that he does not have. He doesn't know what he's going to do.
"Leo" greets Saira with a hot chocolate and a goofy smile. Saira warns him that people around GH are going to start saying he's whipped. He looks sheepish, but just says that he likes her. Saira says she likes him too, and they kiss. Which Claire sees, and it makes her angry. Maybe she could vent her frustration by brushing her hair.
Robin and Saira chat in a waiting area. Saira says other than being weird yesterday, things are good with "Leo." Robin says he's been so different the last couple months. Yeah, no kidding. Saira says she thinks it's because Kyle is there, making GH less "Leo"'s, plus "Leo" found out that his birth mother died. Saira says that knocked him off-balance and he hasn't come to terms with it yet. I guess I appreciate that the writers acknowledge that "Leo" is a totally different character and has been acting like a dick, but I'd have preferred we not have to sit through PodLeo all this time. Anyway, Robin says now she feels really bad for judging "Leo." Gosh, it must be nice to have a conscience.
Saira excitedly tells Robin about the breast milk bank and how it can help cancer patients, same-sex couples, mothers who can't breast feed -- Robin could even use it. Robin looks a bit stunned, and Saira apologizes, but Robin says Saira is right, she can't breast feed, so she'll have to use the bank. Robin has been watching Jagger over the past few weeks with Stone, going from doctor's appointment to appointment, and it's made her start thinking about the possibility that her baby could be HIV-positive. Saira says no, the statistics are by far in Robin's favor, but Robin is sick of percentages and just says there is a chance that her daughter could be positive and she doesn't know what she'll do if that happens. I much prefer this kind of nod to Robin being HIV-positive than the incessant safe sex commercials we were subjected to on OH GH over the last couple of years.
Claire flies into "Leo"'s face and practically screams, "For your information, I am NOT the other woman!" Yikes. Turn down the crazy, Claire. She can't believe "Leo" cheated on Saira, but he's like, um, I thought we were forgetting this. But that was before Claire knew he was dating Saira! Now it's totally different! Yadda yadda crazy stalker overreaction. "Leo" says Saira isn't going to know what happened. Claire says he's disgusting. O...kay. I mean, "Leo" is an ass, but way to play the wronged Pollyanna when you had a one-night stand with him knowing he was your boss, lady.
Kyle helps a woman use a breast pump. They talk about breasts and it makes me uncomfortable. I know that might make me a prude. Please do not send me any brochures. Anyway, sadly, the woman had a stillbirth in her last trimester so she's donating milk so that it "doesn't go to waste." They talk about breast milk some more. This storyline is not doing it for me, sorry.
Stone is back for tests. He continues to be the cutest patient ever. While he's hooked up to some medical-type thingie, Patrick hotly asks Jagger how he does it -- being a father. Jagger says you "just get used to it, I guess." How...deep. Patrick hotly wonders whether he's ready, and Jagger says nobody ever is. But Patrick hotly says Robin is. Jagger says it's easier for women, because they're carrying the baby for nine months. Patrick hotly asks, "Yeah, how do they DO that?" Jagger says when Stone was a baby he was scared to even hold him but he decided he will always do whatever it takes for his son. Patrick hotly says "I hope I get there," and Jagger assures him he will. If I did not hate the word "bromance," I would totally use it here, because I absolutely love these scenes with Jason Thompson and Antonio Sabato Jr. They have a really good rapport. I think the parental aspect of these scenes with Stone suit him well, too -- he tends to hit the emotional mark well. Maybe personal experience? Anyway, well done to both. It's no "you smell nice," but it'll do.
Robin and Patrick are getting ready to get a whole two hours of sleep, on the pull-out couch. They do the couple-y thing of talking about their schedules for the next day, who will pick up groceries, etc. They get in bed and Patrick hotly says the pace [at work] is killing him. Robin oddly detours by telling Patrick that she's going to lend Jagger money. Patrick thinks Jagger will find a way to get the money for Stone and that Robin using her savings to help is crazy when she has a sick dad and a baby on the way.
Patrick: I know you care about Stone and Jagger, but they're not your family.
Robin: Yes, they are my family, okay. And if you needed to help out yours, I wouldn't say a word.
Robin: I wasn't asking you for your permission. It's my money and I can do what I want with it.
Oh, that's never a good way to end a conversation. They head to sleep on opposite sides of the bed. I could dissect this argument and how I can see both sides and whatever, but I am instead just going to throw my hands up in praise that FINALLY, on this second season of Night Shift, Patrick and Robin are having different arguments than the ones they've been having since 2006. Woohoo, good fights!
Patrick and Robin are cleaning up from Robert's birthday dinner. Robert is hilariously sitting on the couch with two slightly askew party hats and a noisemaker. Patrick has to get back to work. Robin snaps at her dad to stop making noise, but Robert says there's a rule that you get to do whatever you want on your birthday. Oh man, I am intimately familiar with that rule, but in 2002 I seriously considered lobbying for its reversal. I might still be hungover. Anyhoo, Jagger and Stone are at the door and Patrick lets them as he hurriedly gets ready for work. Tristan Rogers is awesome as Robert plays with Stone and teases him ("How'd you get so short?" Hee.), then makes him a super secret agent. Jagger watches all of this, amused. Really, he genuinely looks amused!
Patrick goes to leave before cake's been served and Robin is clearly peeved. Robert blows out the candles as Patrick heads out the door. That is so not hot, Patrick.
Kyle is all handsy with a couple of breast milk donors, informing Epiphany that "It's a milk and cookies party. I bring the cookies, and they bring the milk." Adam Grimes' delivery is super dorky, which I think is an attempt to both stay true to Kyle's geeky nature and to cover for that line being horribly cheesy.
Saira inappropriately congratulates Epiphany for "snagging a very debonair orderly." Epiphany gets all giggly again -- "Girl, the way that man kisses!" And seriously, this is just totally not kosher in the workplace, I'm sorry. They talk about "new man butterflies" and how "Leo" is "warmin' up [Saira's] bed at night" and Claire, who is standing like two feet away, is about to lose her shit. As am I. Saira comments on all the workplace romances at GH (not on the show GH, because that would be lunacy), and says Claire should watch out, because she could be next. Lord.
Robert is advising Stone about a super secret ice cream recipe -- Rocky Road -- that Stone has to get from the ice cream store for them to use on their mission. Adorable all around. Robin and Stone leave for the ice cream place, so Jagger and Robert talk. They discuss Stone's autism.
Jagger: I don't know, I'm just sick and tired of all that doctor stuff, you know?
Robert: Yeah, me too.
Jagger: I just want to know what the problem is, and attack it.
Robert: Identify the threat, and take it out.
Robert: Yeah, I know where you're coming from. My daughter's sick too, and there's no quick fix to that either.
Jagger: Her HIV?
Robert: Yeah. You know, we can love 'em, and we can take care of 'em, but in the end, the fight, it's theirs alone. Robin's winning her battle. Stone will too.
There have been more great conversations on this show in nine episodes than there have been in at least two years on OG GH.
At the cookies and milk party, Kyle is all flirty with the donors and Saira is very impressed with all that he's done. She wants to know what turned him around about this, and Kyle explains it was the woman yesterday who lost her baby. He likes that this is teaching him that medicine is a lot more than just how to fix a broken body. He really respects what Saira does (presumably he is not talking about sleeping with his douchey brother) and he wants to learn more from her.
Epiphany and Billy Dee are hanging out in the break room, talking about Billy Dee's life on the road. Snore. He says she should sing more. Epiphany refuses, saying she can't sing in front of him. So Billy Dee moves and stands behind her, and she starts belting out "Amazing Grace." Oh for crap's sake. I feel an episode-ending montage coming on!
But no, it's just a sad scene with Claire being sad. Claire sadly slumps into a waiting-area chair and sadly picks up the newspaper, which -- in a headline the size usually reserved for announcing the results of a presidential election -- blares "Young Kidney Donor Dies During Act of Kindness" and accompanies that improbable lead story with a super hot photo of Ryan, just to pour a little more salt in the wound. Claire sadly holds the paper. Claire is sad.
Epiphany is facing Billy Dee now, winding up "Amazing Grace." Not the hottest song choice to serenade your new beau with, huh?
Robin wants to talk to Patrick. Patrick says they talk all the time. She says they talk about errands and chores, which doesn't count. They're "not connecting," and she's "tired of the mundane-ness of [their] lives." If there ever were code words for "do something hot or I'm liable to cheat on you," I think those are them. Hotly recognize, Patrick! But no, Patrick says they're busy and this is all normal and things don't need to be more complicated. He doesn't "have time to get into this right now, sorry." Oh dear. Another un-hot misstep, Patrick.
"Leo" wakes Saira from her nap in either a really nice on-call room or a patient room she probably shouldn't be sleeping in. I'm dropping the quotes, because I think RealLeo might have actually had this conversation.
Leo: I have to tell you something.
Leo: I, uh, I want to apologize to you. For being, I don't know, weird the other night. I don't mean to push you away like that.
Saira: It's okay.
Leo: It's just new for me, you know? I mean, I'm usually out the door way before this point.
Saira: I know, it's new for me too.
Leo: I want you to know: I'm in this. For real. I might have screwed up before, but um, I want this to work.
They make out. I'm sure the whole Claire thing won't come to light now!
Robin pulls a pop-in on Jagger at his hotel. Stone is sleeping adorably on the floor. Jagger sweetly asks right away if everything is okay with Robert. Robin says yes, and hands him an envelope. It of course contains a check for Stone's treatment. Jagger of course says it's too much, and he can't accept it.
Robin: It's okay, consider it a loan. You can pay me back whenever. Or, Stone can -- when he becomes a famous paleontologist.
Jagger: Robin, I can't take your money. I can't.
Robin: Jagger, please. Come on, if Stone were still alive, it wouldn't even be a question. We'd do everything we could to take care of our nephew.
Oh man, that made me sniffle. The respect that these Night Shift writers have for the history of the show, and the understanding they have of Robin as a character, is really great to watch. I don't know that it's realistic for someone to have that kind of confidence in teenage love, but it's incredibly touching (and soapy!) to experience as a viewer. But y'all know I'm a sucker for Robin and Stone.
Robin is sniffly herself -- her dad, Patrick, everything is up in the air. Her dad could die, her daughter could be HIV-positive, and she can't take care of both of them. Jagger puts his arm around Robin and she puts her head on his shoulder as he assures her that everything will be fine, "because Stone is watching over" them. They turn and look at each other -- rather shmoopily, it should be noted -- and he starts to stroke her hair. They both kind of freeze and wonder what the eff is going on. Awkward! Robin says she has to go, and hurries out. We close on the soapy standard of two sides of the door -- Jagger and Robin on each side, both again wondering what the eff just happened.
I really liked the parts of this episode related to Robin, Robert, Patrick, Jagger, and Stone. (Antonio Sabato Jr. was even very good throughout most of it! Nearly a polar opposite from last week.) The rest I could have done without, but the Scorpios et al were more than enough to make up for the other stories' weeknesses.
And I'm sure it's heresy in some parts, but I'm completely fine with the Robin/Jagger moment. I would even be fine if the writers explored that relationship a bit more. I think Robin and Patrick are great together and if they don't get a big soapy wedding and some great post-baby relationship bliss I may have to kick some shins, but I think most every soap couple needs some angst. And as I said in the first recap of this season, I'm totally fine with Jagger providing that. Particularly, of course, if he is shirtless. Shirtless Antonio Sabato Jr.-fueled angst is pretty much the best kind of soapy angst that there is.
You know it's true.