Did you know that Connie Fletcher, who once played the utterly useless and bafflingly bland Erin Lavery, is married to Aaron Staton, who plays Ken Cosgrove on Mad Men?
Furthermore, did you know that Mad Men is a remarkably brilliant show and that Christina Hendricks may, in fact, be the sexiest human being on television these days and yes, I am saying she's even hotter than Jason Thompson and James Scott (Yes, I went there). And also, did you know she was in a Lifetime movie called Hunger Point, which starred Barbara Hershey, who is apparently starring in a new Anne of Green Gables movie that, judging from the IMDB listing, is the biggest bunch of bullshit to ever exist and whose plot description LITERALLY made me wheeze and cry because I can forgive television an awful lot of things like unaborting fetuses or or turning Australian bumblers into ice cold British terrorists but I cannot forgive television for screwing up the legacy of Anne Shirley, I just cannot. That is just...Anne is not an orphan? Are you people kidding me? This is why hippies don't watch TV and judge others for doing so, because TV sometimes does things that should be prosecutable in a court of law.
Perhaps the above says that I have too much time on my hands if I am randomly reading articles on wikipedia, or maybe it says that I should possibly consider not taking YA fiction quite so seriously, but above all what it says is that...I will go to all sorts of lengths to keep my discussion of AMC on the purely tangential level.
When I saw that Tamara Braun is joining the cast as Bianca's girlfriend, my first instinct was to do a slow motion "Nooooooo! Tamara, save yourseeeeeeeelf!", which quickly gave way to...what the eff do the people at ABC Daytime offer stars to come join one of their, um, quality soap programs? Genie Francis, Vincent Irrizarry, Tamara Braun. Whatever it is, it probably can't be worth the pain that comes along with acting out some of the, um, "entertaining" "stories" the AMC and GH writers come up with.
On the plus side, Bianca returning with Tamara's character as her love interest means that she and Zarf didn't fall in love and have a thousand babies together, so, you know, that's a pleasant surprise. Nicely done, Charless Pratt, Jr.
I rarely, if ever, express this sentiment, but in the interest of fairness I have to: shut up, Kendall. Just...shut up. Please. For the love of god, shut up.
You know, I don't know if it's because I've made my peace with it on account of its inevitability or what, but I am okay with Greenlee and Ryan's blessed union of blessed awesomeness. At the very least, it gets them out of the dating pool and it will be easy to fast forward them. But if I have to sit through one more scene of Kendall bordering on the verge of hysteria about the two of them, I won't be held responsible for my actions. It's like this story was specifically designed to challenge my assertion that I'd watch Alicia Minshew do anything.
There are, literally, thirty six thousand other storylines Kendall could be a part of right now. Hell, Alicia Minshew could just, like, tap dance on screen and it would be more entertaining than watching Kendall pretty much ruin her life, and the lives of viewers, in the name of Ryan and Greenlee's true love.
I admit to being super judgmental about Beth Ehlers and Ricky Paullllllll Goldin based on the force with which ABC Daytime pimped them out to the soap press. Indeed, I think that the approach to Taylor and Jake's introduction/reintroduction to the canvas is another example of the way that ABC Daytime just sucks at everything they touch. There shouldn't have been so many interviews together about their awesome chemistry and perfect working relationship, and they shouldn't have been focused on so much at the Daytime Emmys because it set the bar way, way too high and brought about an almost immediate backlash, at least on my part.
I'm not at all sold on the character of Taylor, and I think that the Iraq war is a subject that needs to be handled with grace and tact and I don't know that many shows on tv right now could do it well, but I really, really like Beth Ehlers a lot. There's something about her screen presence that I really enjoy, and even if I'm not a fan of her character yet, I don't groan when she's on screen, which, y'know, is a pretty big deal on this show.
Ricky Paull Goldin and the character of Jake Martin can suck it, though.
[This is the space where I'd talk about Babe and JR and their impending nuptials and their rekindled love, but I can't do it, I just can't, because I hate everything about Babe with an intensity that hasn't dulled even with a new actress and the only way I will be on board with this wedding is if it involves Babe being kidnapped and sold to gypsies and never heard from again. I know, right, as if the gypsies would want her. But you know what I mean]
There are a couple of bright spots, namely Adam, Erica and Petey.
Petey completely, completely rules. I think he's outrageously adorable, and his scenes after being struck by lighting when he is suddenly confident were hilarious. And he and New Colby are cute together! If they continue to be so sweet, I may eventually accept her as Colby. And he and Palmer and Opal are beyond hilarious with each other. The moral of the story is that I love this kid to death.
I don't exactly understand why tycoon Adam Chandler is relying on a teenager to help him with his dastardly deeds, but the two of them are so funny together that I don't really care.
Adam:I do feel sorry for the boy, being raised by a fossil and a fruitcake.
I know that this sabotaging the Bella perfume story, like so many others before it, will end with Adam being denigrated by all of Pine Valley for being the most evil person this side of Ronald McDonald, but I can't help but love everything this man does.
And he and Erica are...something else. I LOVE watching them together, but it's kind of...weird? I guess. I don't know what to make of them, but they amuse me so greatly that I am not going to question anything. I really hope that the powers-that-be follow through on their pledge to keep La Lucci on screen even as she competes on Dancing With the Stars, although I'm sure they will, since we never got a Ryan-free day when Cameron Mathison was on the show. I don't watch DWTS, but I am totally rooting for her anyway, because she is the fiercest pocket sized diva in the world.