Nothing Was Beautiful and Everything Hurt
Is it okay to wish death upon something if it is not actually a physical being? Like such as, if I were to express a wish that All My Children die a fiery, painful death, I won't go to hell or wind up on the bad side of two tons of karma, right?
Although even if I did, it would kind of be a small price to pay, because, honestly...I have my moments of being able to express my displeasure eloquently (they are rare, but they do happen). I have other times when I basically gesticulate loudly and convey anger through random punctuation and the caps lock of RAGE. And still other times, all I do is stare slack jawed at my television and wish this show dead.
Zach being the father of Bianca's child? That falls into the latter category.
Charles Pratt, I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
I am going to just recap this story for a second without commentary, just to see if maybe it makes sense on its own:
Bianca, Kendall's sister, asked Zach, Kendall's husband and the brother of the man who raped Bianca and fathered her first child, to be the father of her second child. And Zach agrees. And neither of them mention it to Kendall.
Nope, it doesn't make any more sense.
WHO DOES THAT? Who writes something like that? Who even THINKS of something like that?
Bianca: When I first asked you to father my child, I didn't -- I wasn't sure you'd even consider it. And I didn't blame you. I mean, it's not like I was asking you to take in the mail or water the plants. We made a baby. And it's understandable that you would be worried about how Kendall would react.
Zach: I was more worried about how I was going to react.
Zach: Well, any child would be happy to have her, especially mine.
Bianca: Let's hope Kendall feels the same way.
No! You say something like that when you paint the kitchen without telling your housemate or whatever. "I really like the pale green walls. Let's hope James Franco feels the same way!" You don't say something when you GET PREGNANT BY YOUR SISTER'S HUSBAND BEHIND HER BACK.
Bianca: Are you angry with me?
Zach: For what?
Bianca: For not telling you that I was pregnant so that you could tell Kendall that you're the baby's biological father.
Zach: I could never be angry with you. And let's not worry about Kendall right now. It's going to be fine.
I know he means "right now" as in "you're in labor, so we can worry about this later", but STILL.
Jake: Greenlee, you're family.
Frankie: Wait, you --
Jake: You could give consent.
Frankie: You're related to kendall?
Greenlee: Uh, my father was married to her mother.
Jake: That would work.
Not related to the Zach/Bianca hellhole, but still: !!!!!!!!!!. Ex-stepsisters can give medical consent? Who knew?!
And, for good measure: !!!!!!!!!!!
I don't understand ANY PART OF THIS. I don't understand what the eff goes on in the writers room. The choices that they make are just ASTOUNDINGLY WRONG. I don't understand how this choice of Bianca's is anything but SELFISH and HORRIBLE. And I don't understand how Zach has spent the better part of this year chastising Kendall for keeping secrets from him and then goes and does this behind her back. And I don't understand why Zach held the baby up to the sky like he was mothereffing Rafiki.
But most of all, what I don't understand is why the writers can't even let me enjoy Babe's impending death without ASSING EVERYTHING UP. CAN YOU LET ME HAVE ANYTHING WITHOUT RUINING IT, AMC?!?!?!
(I will be blogging about Babe expiring on Friday. If my head does not explode before then. Which it might. Because WHAT THE HELL?)