This Show Really Makes Me Inquisitive
I feel like a toddler sometimes when I watch General Hospital, and not solely because early childhood television programming shares GH's fondness for simplistic dialogue and repetition. Granted, that is a large part of it, but...have you ever spent time with a toddler who is just filled with wonder and asks all sorts of questions about what things are, why they are that way, and how they came to be? That is me during General Hospital. "But...why? How did that...what is...????"
I have either regressed to the mentality of a nursery schooler (possible), or suffered a traumatic brain injury from when I walked into a branch (more likely; hey, it was a really big branch), or nothing about General Hospital makes any sense at all (most likely).
Jane Elliot and Tony Geary have, like, 147 Emmys between the two of them and THIS is the kind of story you write for them? For Luke Spencer and Tracy Quartermaine? Really?
Really? The word "hack" doesn't do it justice.
How many scenes can Olivia possibly be in for no real reason?
I hesitate to even ask that question, because I am sure that someone on the GH writing staff would be all too willing to take that as a challenge and we'd be treated to scenes of Olivia hanging out with Edward and Monica at the Quartermaine mansion*, or chatting with Scott and Laura. I know that the writers get excited when they have a shiny new toy to play with and that they'll probably get sick of her soon, at which point she will get killed off, but come on.
*Just kidding! Edward and Monica have already exceeded their maximum airtime for the rest of the year
Are they writing Sonny like a cranky child on purpose, or do they think that this is what leading men are made of?
Sonny: You think I don't know that? Why are you telling me something I know?
He was, like, two seconds away from a full-on, "You don't know me! I do what I want!" temper tantrum.
Sonny: Ok, you've got to understand something. Whatever I decide to do is for the protection of everybody. Yes, I don't trust the Zaccharas, but I may find out what makes them tick. You don't want to help me, so I'm going to handle it the way i handle it and you're going to handle it the way you handle it. And at the end, if we're on opposite sides, so be it.
What...the hell does that even mean?
Have you ever been typing, and your fingers are on the wrong key, but you don't notice until you've typed a few sentences and you look up at the computer screen and it is just gibberish? That's how I feel sometimes during Sonny/Jason scenes. I kind of zone out and then when I start paying attention again, none of the words they are saying make any sense. It's like what I imagine happens when one has a stroke.
Did Becky Herbst sell her soul to the devil to be so pretty?
No judgment on my end if she did. Because it was worth it.
Is Bruce Weitz for real?
I can only hope that he's in on the joke. You think he is, right? He's doing this on purpose? So we can laugh with him? I really hope so.
Are they fucking kidding me with this?
I offer the following with no commentary. Because words fail me. They FAIL ME.
Scott: I know that was an accident, but there was another accident that happened to you. Rick, your stepfather, was having an affair with a nurse at the hospital. You walked in on him and she was very mad at him, and she was yelling at him and she was hitting him. And you tried to protect Rick and you accidentally killed that woman...Rick stuck a needle in your arm. He tried to sedate you to help you forget. And then he forced me to take that body, dig a hole, and bury it. And I knew that you being on probation for David Hamilton, if this came out, you would go to prison. Laura, I loved you way too much for that to ever happen.
Scott: Laura, you didn't know this, but Rick, he turned out to be a very, very bad guy. He -- he blackmailed me over the woman's body that we buried. The -- the night before you were going to get married, he called me up and he said, meet him in the attic. He said there was a problem. I got over there and he had a syringe in his hand and he was coming after you. He was trying to sedate you against your will. You were fighting with him, desperately. I just picked up the first thing that I could get my hands on and I hit him. And -- and then I heard Luke coming up the stairs. And I figured it was best to take off. He -- that -- you know, you didn't need to see us at each other's throats there.
There are literally, like, 34 things in those two paragraphs that are absolutely insane, starting with Scott reminding Laura that Rick was her stepfather. But I am not going to go there. Because...because we don't have the bandwith for it, really.
On the plus side, the scenes about Robin and Patrick's wedding have been a new brand of cute, and that gets its own post at the end of the week. God bless Awesome Writer, seriously.
Screencaps courtesy of LizNJase