I know I haven't blogged about Days in forever. I always have good intentions to do so, and I've started posts a million times, but then I'm just overcome with the suspicion that the only thing more boring and un-fun than this show would be me blogging about how boring and un-fun it is. So I decide to do more productive things with my time, like work, clean my house, organize my photographs by year, backup my hard drive, and perfect the ultimate vodka lemonade recipe (hint: the right balance between club soda and lemonade, and use of Belvedere Cytrus, is key).
But alas, since I only blog about two shows, I have to get past my laziness and just put it all out there for you Days people, even if it's totally uninteresting. Or, I am drunk on vodka lemonades and can't think of anything else less active to do. Let's see which one it is!
Things That Are No More Interesting the Second Time Around:
1. Sami stressing about being pregnant by EJ DiMera. I guess it's nice for Allison Sweeney that she doesn't have to hide behind shopping bags and giant plants, but Sami being pregnant, let alone by EJ, is he least interesting thing she's done since . . . Austin.
2. Sami yelling at the men she either was, is, or will be in a romantic relationship with. (Note: This accounts for 95% of Sami's behavior.)
3. Sami being in a witness protection program safe house. Seriously, this just happened. It was dumb then too.
4. Chelsea being upset that a female relative of hers slept with her boyfriend. At this point she should just start keeping a close eye on Ciara (who is likely to be 18 by the spring).
5. Daniel being hot for a possibly-terminally-ill woman. (Was it just me, or did he start lusting after Chloe the instant he found out she was a cancer survivor? While his current patient/savior-complex-victim Kate was in a hospital bed in the next room?) To put it in language that Daniel would understand, this dude still skeeves me like whoa.
P.S. Yeah, there's the kind of triangle that's going to save your show, powers-that-be. Quite the soapy visionaries you are!
6. Insta-love "romantic" pacing. Nick and Chelsea, Chelsea and Daniel, Daniel and Kate, EJ and Nicole, Chloe and Lucas, Max and Stephanie, Phillip and Morgan, the list goes on. This show has lost the ability to do a good soapy build-up, something it used to be known for. I do not care about couples who break up when they weren't even together two months ago. Why is this complicated?
7. Chelsea and Max. Just stop it.
Things That Are Awful, Awfully Boring, or Both:
(note: repetitive items above also belong in this category but the key
to a decent ranty blog post is not letting your lists get too long)
Okay, sure! This makes perfect sense. Also not ridiculous is how everyone is acting like Nick killed Willow in cold blood and then skulked about town like a crazy person, looking for his next victim. And how Stephanie and Chelsea are blaming Melanie for Nick's downward spiral, even though according to those characters and the ones standing right next to them, this now-obvious-to-everyone descent into madness began when she was still just the drunkest girl at her French boarding school. IT ALL MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
Resistance is futile.