Oh, Sweet Comeuppance
I offer the following with no real commentary, because no words will actually do it justice and I don't exactly know how to convey excited gibberish and squealing sounds in written form...
Jack: Are you sure this wasn't an allergic reaction?
Jeff: No, no, doc said definitely the burn came from whatever was in that jar, not something my system overreacted to.
Jack: Do you maybe remember the name of it?
Jeff: The face cream? Um... something from jabot. Um... GloAgain. That's it.
Jack: Where is Gloria? I want to talk to her.
Jeff: In jail.
Jack: In jail? Why?
Jeff: Uh... while I was in the E.R.-- Oh, man, I hate to be the one to tell you this--
Jack: Enough with that! Spit it out!
Jeff: She came as soon as she heard. She's very distraught. Oh...hell, what am I saying? She was practically hysterical.
Jeff: Well, it turns out she's the one responsible for tampering with that batch of product two and a half years ago. Can you believe it? My own wife was responsible for this whole damned disaster.
FINALLY JACK KNOWS THE TRUTH!
I won't say it was worth the wait, exactly, because the wait was so long that I worked myself up into a rage too many times to count in a way that may have given me an actual ulcer and this payoff wasn't quite perfect enough to overcome literal years of torment at the hands of Gloria and her throbbing veins and self-righteousness. And I had long held out hope that Jack would be the one to discover the truth on his own, proving yet again that the soaps in my head are way better than the soaps we actually see, but overdue and imperfect though it may be, I can't deny that this was more than a little amazing.