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« GH Wishes You an Allegedly Happy New Year | Main | I Am in Love with Fictional Characters. Or Maybe That's the Eggnog. »

December 22, 2008

Physician, Heal Thyself

You should need no other evidence than that the writers have no idea what the hell to do with Days of Our Lives than the character of Dr. Daniel Jonas.  He is almost entirely a creation of the current team, and even if he was introduced under the old regime (Who can keep track anymore?), the guy has virtually no history and is basically a blank slate.  They can mold him, develop him, create exactly what they want.  And what they want, apparently, is for him to be an icky grody perv.  Are they hanging out with Bob Guza in the soap writers' cafeteria or something?  "I see your unrepentant hitman and I raise you a serial patient-molesting surgeon!"

You may recall that initially, I wanted to like Daniel.  (To sum up:  Hot, new, hot, doctor who's not Lexie, hot.)  But he would not shut up with the surfer-speak, and then, in the most stomach-turning pairing of the year (Best and Worst post spoiler!), he got into a relationship with his muchmuchmuch younger patient, Chelsea.  He was torn about getting involved with her, because he had gotten involved with another of his patients years ago and she died, or something.  Maybe she just faked it to get away from him once she realized that he was totally turned on by her allegedly (diagnosed by him, no doubt) terminal illness.  I would.  I mean, it wouldn't be my first choice, but it would do in a pinch.

But thankfully, finally Daniel and Chelsea broke up, and I thought he might have a chance to be rehabbed as a character.  I know, it was one of those soft-in-the-head moments I have from time-to-time.  I blame his abs.  They make my head all spinny.  ANYWAY, Dan the Man quickly moved on to schtupping Chelsea's grandma Kate, who was ALSO one of his patients, and I thought, well, at least he's gone as low as he can go.  Clearly they're planning a redemption arc of epic proportions!  He will be redeemed, he will emerge as a rootable hero, he will be the 40-ish leading man this show is otherwise totally lacking!  The writing team must have realized their horrible mistakes and are engineering a turnaround that will make Chelsea circa 2007 look like child's play!

And then...The Incident.  I am inserting a cut here because the hundreds of unsupervised children who undoubtedly innocently surf past our blog on a daily basis should not see such things.  Nobody should, but you know, we're all about the children here at Serial Drama.  They are our future.  Teach them well and let them lead the way, and crap like that.

Ahem.  The Incident:

DanielChloeExam2 

DanielChloeExam 

DanielChloeExam4 

DanielChloeExam3

This was so wrong on so many levels that they could invent levels for a hundred years and still not find one on which it could be even tenuously considered okay.  Also:  Icky grody pervy EW!

He GROPED a woman during a routine pre-transplant exam.  (The transplant, BTW, is for his current girlfriend, Grammie Kate!)  He is lusting after YET ANOTHER patient.  And, oh by the way, this freaking show is playing this off like it was a ROMANTIC ENCOUNTER!  He and Chloe are both having lusty flashbacks to it!  What?  Whatwhatwhat?!  How damaged do you have to be to write scenes like this?  How screwed up is your image of masculinity that the only leading man you've had a chance to create essentially from scratch is an habitual pursuer of his sick patients?  Who on earth thinks this is a sexy character?  Has the meaning of sexy been changed altogether, and if so has someone alerted People?  Is Daniel too busy with pre-op feel-ups to cut his hair?  How is it possible that Chloe is an opera singer yet her speaking voice never fluctuates beyond a monotone?  Why do they put Nadia Bjorlin's makeup on with a putty knife?

Some of these questions are deeper and more important than others.

Suffice it to say that today when Chloe slammed Daniel's fingers at the Horton cabin?  Well, it was the second time in a year I have been rooting for a large wooden door.

Screencaps courtesy of Days of Our Lives 2.

Comments

so reading this post i started to feel really icky, who wouldn't, but then i got to the end and flashed back to John slamming Marlena into to the door...truly priceless!!

Thank you. I found that scene extremely disturbing, and the way they're playing it mutual lust even more disturbing, if possible.

I've only caught the flashbacks to the molestation, but I think those two are all kinds of unintentional hilarity. Chloe's dead-behind-the-eyes-ness and Daniel's "thr-ahhh-bing" lust is such exaggerated cheese. And yes, the Dr.Ethics humping session that is soon to come (heh) is definitely grody, but also totally expected from this show. The unexpected surprise here is just how freaking funny they are.

How is it possible that Chloe is an opera singer yet her speaking voice never fluctuates beyond a monotone?

HAHAHAHAHA. Love it.

And ITA with every word of your assessment of Dr. Perv. (Well, except the door thing.) Even for a Dena Higley scene, it was completely disgusting. I hope Dr. Perv doesn't decide to escort any of his patients to the lobby in an elevator anytime soon.

I agree, it's disgusting. Dr. Dan has been fouled up. They had the opportunity to invent a fresh character and engage the audience but managed to enrage them instead.
Chloe is so out of character it's disgraceful. She has 8/9 years of history on this show, all being disregarded. She was written as an intelligent and talented opera singer (this show needs someone classy and sophisticated) but has been reduced to passed around the Salem men in the most degrading way possible (elevator and now groping!!). I can't help but think someone vindictive is working out their personal agenda on the character.
This whole show is sordid, sleazy and written by a relentless hack.

Thank you for writing this. That scene with Chloe and Daniel and the 953 flashbacks we've been treated to since it happened might be the worst thing I've ever seen on Days. And when you consider that I am talking about Days, here, well you know how bad it really was. The fact that Chloe is even fantasizing about it just...there really are no words. She should be in front of the hospital board lobbing a complaint, not fighting her attraction for Dr. Douchiel. Daniel is clearly sick and needs to be written off this show pronto if this is all the use they have for him. Gross.

Why anyone at DOOL thought this was a good idea for a story remains a question for the ages. Especially since Dena is quick to blame flopped stories on the work of interfering execs. Shouldn't someone along the way have seen the plan for this arc and put the brakes on? Even without the history of Chloe's personality, why would anyone outside of Dena's (clearly sick) head greenlight a story like this one?

I'm ready for Dr. Dan to go too. It amazes me the show thought Examina Erotica was a good idea. It's primary viewership is women but I can't think of one woman who HOPES to be felt up during an exam.

I hope Kate finds out what he did and kicks his ass! Dan needs to die.

I don't even watch Days and...EW.EW.EW.

Well, it was the second time in a year I have been rooting for a large wooden door.

Wooden door, Marlena's head, and Doc Ugh's fingers is the triangle I 'ship the most.

Daniel Jonas is awesome, he is one of my favorite MALE characters on the show. Daniel is my hero, every guy would want to be him.

Ok, Daniel may not top Melanie as the best character ever but he is ok. Noone tops Melanie, she is the Queen B of Salem

Who is Melanie?

A horribly annoying character who is eating the show. (Max's 18-year-old sister who is suddenly a Master of the Universe rivaling Victor.) They went for "bad girl" and ended up on "one-note harpy." The actress is good and the character had potential, but now everything she does makes my slapping hand itch.

Thanks, Becca. I've still got a lot of episodes to slog through obviously and just can't find the inspiration to catch up given the current state of the show.

BECCA, that is your opinion but she has alot of fans but I am Melanie's #1 fan. She is not supposed to be liked. She is the new badgirl in salem and she is the newest Sami Brady in Salem. She is the best part of days of our lives.

i love her.

Ugh, No place is safe is it?

Characters can be created to love to be hated where you hate them but you love them at the safe time. Melanie, thus far, has no redeeming qualities about her.

^^^there is nothing bad about Melanie ok.

OMG, she doesn't play by the rules. You people act like you are so innocent, which probably you are not.

Melanie isn't afraid to tell it as it is. She isn't afraid to get in Chelsea or Stephanie's face and tell them, they are not perfect.

Melanie doesn't pretend to be perfect, she knows she is flawed and a bitch.

She isn't a goody toe shoe like Chelsea and Stephanie are.

She cares for people, HER BROTHER MAX and god forbid, she did love her skum of a father Trent too. Who else should she loved, the only person she was attracted to, went all psycho on her(Nick). She even told Nick, she wanted to take things slow cause she did care for him. She wanted to start out as friends and then work up to a relationship.

Why should she befriend Stephanie and Chelsea, who they been a total bitch to her ever since they met her.

sorry but Melanie is what Days needed for along time. I was so bored with Days up until August. Melanie brings life to the show.

Dena Higley strikes again...and not as in the writers kind of strike (thats another story altogether)...more like the terrible tragic catastrophe kind of strike...like an evil toxic brain tumor or something.

I can only take this show a minute or two a few times a week (unless GL or GH catch my attention.)

Dena did the same crap to my other show OLTL once upon a time. The women is seriously messed up.I'm so sorry for Days.:-(

I think I am seriously perverted or something, because although I would CRINGE if this happened to me in real life, this is the kind of stuff that sometimes happens when I go to sleep and delve into the dark and often exciting recesses of my dreaming sexuality.

But none- well hardly any-of my fantasies in dreamland belong on TV-that is for sure.

BTW, you are damned funny! I wish you would write more often, but I guess you are still under "doc's orders" to cease anything more than monthly writings of Days!

What in hell is a "goody toe shoe?"

I love it when the fan gurlz show up with their logic. Merry Christmas to all!

I had such hopes for Daniel too. Hot, a doctor, connected (albeit tenuously) to the Kiriakis family...but then the goofy eco-surfer thing started. Then he fell in love with every female patient in the ICU. His tragic backstory fell flat. Argh. Unless he's been brainwashed by Stefano to molest the women of Salem, he's completely lost as a character to me.

I liked Dr. Dan at first, but you're right Becca, they have totally messed him up! "The incident" was completely gross and I am sick of seeing the flashbacks every 5 seconds too. What's funny is that even Shawn Christian doesn't wtf his character is doing. When I watched his interview from the big days fan event at Universal Studios, it's clear the poor guy is as confused about his character as we are. Can Dena Higley please be fired already! I'm sick and tired of watching her destroy another one of my soaps. The hack needs to stop hacking up daytime!

And Terry, get over it - not everyone likes Melanie. Everyone has the right to their opinion. You can be happy that she's on everyday and the rest of us are entitled to hate it if we want.

I love Melanie. She's the bright spot in a dismal show. So it's not just Terry.

I want Chloe and Dan to fall in love, elope and never return. They truly deserve each other.

Their leaving town happy will make ME very happy.

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