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« I Think I Have Outrage Fatigue | Main | All My Children: 2008 In Review »

December 30, 2008

Serial Drama's Best and Worst of 2008

We are two girls who love lists.  We have been known to make up projects just so we can create to-do lists and check off each item.  It's so satisfying!  And if you can also incorporate color-coding?  Consider us blissful.

So why, then, did we not jump for joy at the thought of doing this year's list of best and worst happenings on our shows?  Well, it probably has to do with the fact that the number of soapy happenings entitled to "best" status in 2008 is roughly equal to the number of world capitals that Britney Spears can name off the top of her head.  It was, overall, a dreary year in our corner of soapland, with the notable exception of Night Shift.  If we're talking about all soaps, even those lucky enough not to have us as viewers, apparently on One Life to Live troubles melt like lemon drops and birds fly over the rainbow (except when gang rapists secretly romance their amnesiac victims!).  But since we don't watch that show, we can refuse to acknowledge its goodness and maintain our general tenor of bitchy dissatisfaction.  It works for us.

We did work up the stamina to compile a list of bests and worsts, but we feel compelled to issue our usual disclaimer:  We only watch All My Children, Days of Our Lives, General Hospital, Night Shift, and The Young and the Restless.  So yes, there was that whole bear thing on The Bold and the Beautiful, As the World Turns is probably super progressive with the Noah/Luke couple, One Life is curing ebola, and Guiding Light is down to, like, four actors and location shoots at a strip mall in rural New Jersey.  We don't care.  Okay, that's too harsh.  We totally care, we just don't...no, "don't care" pretty much sums things up.  We're way happy if you guys are consistently entertained by those shows, though!  We wonder what that's like.

Best Story: The Death of Babe Carey, All My Children

For years, Arabella Carey Cramer Chandler, also known as "Babe" also known as "the character who left trails of death, destruction and disease in her wake in a way that is only rivalled by World Wars", also known as "The Serial Drama Readers Choice For Worst Character in Daytime", irritated, outraged and appalled the ever-dwindling AMC audience.  Until the fateful day that a tornado made its way to suburban Pennsylvania and KILLED HER.  And it was amazing.  It's possible that the writers intended for the loss of this young wife, beloved daughter and occasional mother to be a gut-wrenching affair and, um...they missed the mark there.  But the euphoria that this story brought, however unintentional, was truly a soap highlight of 2008.

Worst Story: Michael Gets Shot in the Head, General Hospital

The idea that a child being shot in the head during a botched hit on his father's life somehow qualifies as entertainment is baffling enough but for someone to actually state, in a national magazine, that this shooting is a justly deserved punishment for said child buying a gun?  Is so ludicrous that between the two of us (who are prone to hysterical, profanity-laced, rage-filled rants), we can't fully express the depth of our sheer hatred for that someone. 

Also, it led to Limo Sex, which . . . EW. 

LimoSex1 LimoSex2

We cannot un-see that.  We've tried.

Best Couple: Patrick and Robin, General Hospital

PatrickRobinEmma

We've been accused of showing an unfair bias towards Robin, Patrick and Robin and Patrick as a couple, being described sometimes as "fangurls", which is worse than being an ordinary fangirl?   We don't know.  What we do know is that Robin and Patrick are endlessly adorable, compelling and root-worthy throughout all manners of repeated conversations, wacky blog shenanigans and limited screentime.

Worst Couple: Chelsea and Daniel, Days of Our Lives

There are couples that don't quite click, and then there are ones that are so wrong from the beginning that you have to be either emotionally disturbed or intentionally trying to make the audience hate you by putting them on the air.  Guess which category was-just-18-last-year Chelsea and early-40s Daniel fell into?

It is also worth noting that while together, they have bad hair.  Case closed.

Most Entertaining Couple: Erica and Adam, All My Children

So they aren't technically a couple and they spar more often than anything, but there is nothing more fun than watching Erica and Adam face off with a limitless supply of banter, history and chemistry. David Canary and Susan Lucci are ridiculously entertaining together and if some network executive would greenlight an Adam/Erica sitcom, we'd totally watch it.

Best New Couple: None, All of the Shows on Daytime

Soap operas have the reputation for being little more than steamy love scenes amongst the non-soap watching public, but daytime these days is completely romance deficient.  There are exactly zero new couples that we like. And though it is normally possible that such a statement would be due to our inability to find goodness and love in the world, this time, we feel confident in saying we are totally right.  Not that we're ever not confident in saying that, but you see what we mean here.

Best Breakup: Carly and Jax, General Hospital

Laura Wright and Ingo Rademacher work well together and are a fantastic looking couple, but nothing about Carly and Jax's romance has worked.  Ever.  Not from when they hooked up minutes after his wife/her best friend died, not when they had their splashy wedding and certainly not when she cheated on him with Sonny multiple times (including one marriage).  (Reminder:  Limo Sex.  EW.)  So to say that the breakup was a long time coming is an understatement, and would have gotten Best Breakup honors on that basis alone. But the GH writers exceeded our expectations (low though they may be) and wrote some outstanding fight scenes that were realistic and expertly acted.

Demerit because it looks like they're putting Carly and Jax back together.  But for now, let us bask in the light of their acrimonious divorce.  Woo!

Worst Breakup: Jason and Elizabeth, General Hospital

Years of build-up, scorching chemistry between Steve Burton and Becky Herbst and so of course...

LizJason1 LizJason2

...Jason and Elizabeth break up before they had an actual relationship.  Really, GH writers?  Really?!

Best Quadrangle:  Lucky, Liz, Emily and Nikolas, General Hospital

The episode that SOAPNet aired on Christmas showcased...oh, it's cheating to name something from 1998?  And we need to choose something from this year?  Um.  We've got nothing.

Worst Quadrangle: Every Permutation of the 30-Something Set, Days of Our Lives

Dear Days of Our Lives writing team:  Please stop trying to make soapy quadrangles happen under your watch.  They're not going to happen. 

Most Preposterous Plot: The Blog Wars, General Hospital

Only on General Hospital would daytime's first HIV-positive pregnancy be merely a footnote in a storyline. Instead of a legitimately good look at the issues Robin, Patrick, and their unborn baby would face, we wound up with two grown-ass doctors sniping at each other via blogs.  An effing blog war.  Gloria Monty wept.

Biggest Tearjerker: The Tribute To Myrtle, All My Children

Who knew that AMC was capable of producing an outstanding hour of television?  Certainly not us.  From start to finish, the December 19th tribute to Myrtle and her amazing portrayer made us cry, what with the use of history, the copious flashbacks and the knowledge that Pine Valley is now without its heart and the viewers are without one truly fantastic character.  It's been a week and a half and Mallory's eyes are still puffy.

Best Recast: Billy Miller as Billy Abbott, The Young and the Restless

After being wasted by All My Children in the most frustrating of ways, Billy Miller rebounded by joining the number one show in daytime and getting the opportunity to act alongside Peter Bergman, Jess Walton and Eileen Davidson.  It has been awesome in and of itself and when you compare it to the unfortunate era where Scott Seymour was physically incapable of emoting as Billy back in 2006?  The word awesome doesn't do it justice.

Best New Character: John Black 2(?).0, Days of Our Lives

It took a while, but the robotic NewJohn with the mean Muppet voice really grew on us.  We will neither confirm nor deny that his obvious hatred of the increasingly intolerable and obnoxious Marlena is what tilted the scale in his favor.

Related honorable mention:  Most Awesome Prop:  The Door.  We love you, Door.  Never change.

Worst New Character: TIE! Daniel Jonas, Days of Our Lives
and Eden, The Young and the Restless

The last thing Michael Baldwin needed was a whiny teenaged sister to join his ever-expanding family of nutbars and the last thing that Y&R viewers needed was an obnoxious character played poorly by two different actresses. We put up with a lot this year and Eden is just adding insult to injury.

Dr. Daniel Jonas is an icky grody perv.  Shawn Christian is hot and deserves far better than this creepy, backstory-less borderline-sexual-predator excuse for a character.  Days really needed a leading man in this age range, so it's a shame the writers bungled his introduction and development so astonishingly.  The only remotely good thing we can say about Dr. Jonas is that he gives us a new appreciation for GH's "hero," Jason Morgan, who at least until this point has avoided the gratuitous groping of women in his care. 

Best Return: Laura Spencer and Robert Scorpio, General Hospital (and Night Shift)

Never one to take a good thing and run with it, General Hospital opted for short-term engagements of two daytime legends, but beggars can't be choosers and we loved seeing Genie Francis and Tristan Rogers back in Port Charles, even for just a short while.

Genie Francis was back for the only thing the idiots who run that crapfest of a show will allow, one of those "little short doses during sweeps periods."  But was she amazing during that brief return? 

Laura

Of course she was.  And we suppose Laura being off in generic "Europe," thousands of miles from the family she adores, is better than being in the mental institution, but not by much.  One of these we imagine Tony Geary will finally refuse to spout the inane dialogue they write for him in which Luke craps all over his and Laura's history.  Maybe that will be the day the powers-that-be call Genie Francis for a more permanent return?  Totally!  (We have rich fantasy lives.)

Tristan Rogers' brilliance as Robert Scorpio was never in doubt in our minds, but even viewers without any longstanding emotional connection to GH and the Scorpio clan must have been blown away by Rogers' performances this year, especially on Night Shift.  Even in the small moments, like kissing Robin on the cheek as he gave her away at her wedding, he is outstanding.  We love him.  And really, really want to hang out and have many beers with him, because we think he would have very colorful things to say about the "professionals" who are in charge of GH and ABC Daytime.  Call us, Tristan!  (See above re: fantasy lives.)

Worst Return: The REAL Greenlee, All My Children

The crass marketing blitz that accompanied Rebecca Budig reclaiming the role of Greenlee was bad enough, but it is especially galling when you consider the fact that over the year, all of the storylines that Sabine Singh's Greenlee had been a part of (kidnapping and maiming Spike and having a great romance with Aidan, for instance) were rewritten or ruined; the writers introduced a terrible Ryan/Greenlee/Aidan/Kendall/Zach...thing that was awful; and the gag-inducing Ryan/Greenlee pairing was back. And! On top of all that badness, Rebecca Budig is on her way out again, meaning that we put up with all of that for nothing. Unless you count a year of terrible stories as something, which we don't.

Most Boring Character: Anyone With the Last Name Carver, Days of Our Lives

If you can name a single interesting thing that anyone in that family has done since Lexie-as-Nell cartwheeled out of that tunnel a year and a half ago, you are watching a different show than we are. Snooze city.  The writers have literally reduced Abe and Lexie to having conversations about her daily schedule.  On a freaking soap opera.  Dear god, make it stop.

(Side note to Ken Corday:  If you wanted your show to do a decent autism story, you should have called the Night Shift crew.  Actually, could you call them anyway?  Sri Rao and his friends might be able to actually save that...thing...you are trying to pass off as our beloved childhood soap.)

Most Annoying Character: Nadine, General Hospital

Nadineannoying

We get what the GH writers were going for: cute, naive, nice girl. But, as they do so often, they failed, and we wound up with a painfully stupid character played by an actress too laden with tics and exaggerated facial expressions to make it work.

Honorable mention goes to Melanie on Days, who is saved from the title only because her OTT-bitchy barbs occasionally land on some of the many characters we've lost patience with.  And in our world, bitchiness beats smurfy-ness every time.

Best "Bad Girl": Maxie, General Hospital 

We love Maxie.  Kirsten Storms is magic.  Kirsten-as-Maxie is awesomely fashionable and has super-fun hair.

Maxiebwdress Maxieyellowbeigedress

We cannot even be snarky about this topic and must break out the very rare unironic e-hug:   (((((Maxie)))))

Worst Hero: Jason Morgan, General Hospital

HE KILLS PEOPLE FOR MONEY!  AND IF WE KEEP SAYING THIS IN CAPS LOCK EVERY YEAR, PERHAPS SOMEONE WILL TAKE NOTICE!

Worst Heroine: Carly, General Hospital

If Carly, with her demented sense of loyalty, smugness, anger problems, and general tendency to act like a screeching harridan, was supposed to be -- like the Carly of the 90s -- the bitchy antiheroine of Port Charles, she'd still drive us crazy, but at least that would be on purpose.  As written, Carly has almost zero positive attributes and is, for some reason, presented as the show's most wonderful character: everybody loves her, men throw themselves at her instantly, and she loses in life about as often as Jason.  In fact, that gives us an idea; if ever there was a GH character more in need of a personality-erasing encounter with a very large tree, it's Carly.

Also, Laura Wright, we love you, but please stop making this face:

Carly

Quickest Descent from Best to Worst:  Kate Howard, General Hospital

This time last year, we named Kate Howard one of the two best new characters in soaps.  Now, we pretty much want to kick her in the shins and shake her by the shoulders until she promises to go back to the independent, mob-hating, Sonny-despising diva she was when she first arrived. 

Mwhair1

It's not about the hair!  We adored the bob but we love Megan Ward and her gorgeous hair regardless.  We are insulted that you think we would be that shallow.

(And yes, we are obligated to make our argument using allusions to physical violence.  That is what happens when a character gets shot TWICE in one year because of the same mumbly asshole of a duh-faced mobster.  We are going with the theme, okay?)

Best Villain: Sonny, General Hospital

Rage issues, a violent streak, deeply rooted misogyny, and an obsessive need to be a part of the mob at all costs despite the fact that loved ones drop left and right around him make Sonny the clear cut choice for the year's best...oh.  Right.  Never mind.

Worst Villain: David Chow, The Young and the Restless

For a man whose entire life was based upon hiding years of secrets, murders and secret murders

Davidchowmurder

David Chow was pretty terrible at being a criminal mastermind. Not least because Vincent Irrizarry radiates sleaze, which made viewers assume at the outset that he was shady and get frustrated at how long it took the rest of Genoa City to catch on.

Best Wedding: Jesse and Angie, All My Children

Jesseandangie1Jesseandangie2

Let's forget, for a second, the awfulness of Jesse and Angie's story following their wedding and focus, instead, on just how perfect this wedding was: the (52 year old!!! How is that possible?) bride was stunning, the vows were swoon-worthy, the return of Greg Nelson was excellent and the assembling of all of Jesse and Angie's nearest and dearest friends was wonderful.  THIS is how you write a soap wedding.

Worst Wedding: Sonny and Kate, General Hospital

Call us crazy but there is something about a wedding between an unhinged, violent criminal and a woman who got shot earlier in the year by his son that ends not with vows, but the bride being shot again because of mob violence that makes us shake our heads and weep for what daytime used to be.

Worst Stunt Casting: Vincent Pastore, General Hospital

Just imagining how self-impressed Bob Guza became after landing an actual Sopranos cast member on his seventeenth-rate Sopranos rip-off is irritating and the actual, wacky shenanigans of Max and Milo and their gangster father were doubly so.  Who on earth was clamoring for more screentime for the Giambetti family?  Who looked at this show and thought, gee, you know, what we really need is more mafia stories?  Who thought that women -- still soaps' target audience last we checked -- would be thrilled and delighted to see Vincent freaking Pastore on their show?  Why does this show hate us?

Most Tortured Fanbase:  "Liason" Fans

We both have the attention span of fruit flies and admire the sticktoitiveness of a group of people who spend weeks rooting for something, let alone years.  The "Liason" fans did just that and spent a decade hoping for Jason and Liz to get together.  A DECADE.  That is devotion.  And what does GH do?  Jerk the fanbase around, giving Jason and Liz a child, a few scenes together and a breakup that came before they were ever a real couple.  Wicked cruel.

Not to mention there was that whole his-and-her hair nightmare.  Really, how much can one group of viewers take? 

Most Disappointing Show:  TIE!  Days of Our Lives and General Hospital

It's not even worth writing out in detail for the 10,000th time, so to sum up, General Hospital has no right to suck as much as it does.  Add a decent writing team to the stellar cast and fantastically layered history, and you'd have soapy perfection.  Instead, tune in next week for mob war #597!  Hopefully, a toddler will get shot so that kids everywhere learn a valuable lesson.

Days of Our Lives is a little sadder, and more disappointing, for us.  It's more disappointing because at one point last year, Days really seemed to be on an upswing, while GH has been languishing in mobville for the better part of a decade and everyone involved with it seems to think that's a-ok.  But the current Days writing team swept away all progress away from the years of laughably ridiculous storylines and seems to have no regard for history, very little wit, and zero commitment to long-term story arcs that are actually interesting.  Plus it's a soap opera on which we hate or are bored by every couple, except the veteran ones who are practically invisible.  And all of this is happening as the show stares down the barrel of cancellation within a couple of years.  Now that we think about it, "disappointing" doesn't really seem to cover it.

Most Improved Show: General Hospital: Night Shift

If you had told us this time last year that we would be naming Night Shift the best of anything in 2008, we would have put money only on something like "best excuse for profanity-laden tirade late at night" or "best attempt to skate by totally on people's nostalgia for Robin Scorpio and Jason Thompson's intensely hot hotness."  But then something amazing happened:  A new executive producer and head writer put a darned good soap on the air.  For 13 consecutive weeks!  A soap that was based on relationships and drew on the characters' histories and interactions.  It was everything that General Hospital should be but hasn't been since the '90s.  We even had trouble being bitchy and hypercritical about it!  US!  It was a strange and wonderful time.

Side note:  Much as we hate to openly disagree with the powers-that-be at Soap Opera Digest, who are kind/crazy enough to pay us to write a monthly column in which we essentially take huge bites out of the soap hand that feeds them, we must quibble with their selection of Days of Our Lives in this category in their year-in-review issue.  Perhaps it's possible that "improved" has many less common meanings, including one somewhat along the lines of "borderline unwatchable and apparently written by people with the attention span of gnats," but if so, they should have been specific!

Best Show:  Night Shift

For all the reasons listed above, and because Jason Thompson's intensely hot hotness was on full display.

Runner up:  One Life to Live.  Sure, we don't watch it, but we like our inboxes to be polluted only by unique opportunities to get rich in a very short period of time, as opposed to OLTL-related hate mail.  We are still a bit skeptical, as we watched an episode several months ago in an attempt to understand the brilliance and blog about it, but the episode included some of that Mendorra fiasco and the beginnings of the Todd-romances-Marty disaster.  We drafted and then deleted the post and never spoke of it again.  Until now.  We know we should have left well enough alone...so, woohoo, OLTL!  You are probably a much better show than we think you are based on the 44 minutes we saw.

Best Actor: Tristan Rogers, General Hospital: Night Shift

Not to be the type of people who lavish massive amounts of praise with all manner of highfalutin adjectives, but...Tristan Rogers was a revelation on this season of Night Shift as Robert Scorpio battled cancer.  He made us laugh, he made us cry, he made us remember when we loved General Hospital.  He even made Antonio Sabato Jr. look like a natural and talented actor.  Tristan Rogers rules and we will hear no different from anyone. 

Best Actress: Melody Thomas Scott, The Young and The Restless

Melody Thomas Scott has never won an Emmy.  Unbelievable, right?  She is way overdue for actual, legitimate recognition but this year, she'll have to settle for the praise that comes with being Serial Drama's Best Actress of the Year.  No matter how horrible her lines are (and she's had some clunkers) or how ludicrous her story is, she gives it her all; even relegated to the background, she can be depended on for some quality reaction shots.  Every scene she is in should go on her Emmy reel and, fingers crossed, she could maybe win one of these days.

Worst History Rewrite: Undead Diego Is the Text Message Killer, General Hospital

So you kill off Emily Quartermaine and Georgie Jones, legacy characters with eons of storyline potential between the two of them.  No big, right?  But oops, you forgot to decide who the killer was going to be.  Your red herrings of Coop and Logan could get you into trouble for portraying veterans, again, as unhinged lunatics, so you need to come up with a surprise, something that will shock the viewers...and you settle on a character that viewers saw DIE ONSCREEN and who had already once been thrown under a bus and randomly named the villain in a previous shitty storyline?  That is 32 flavors of blatant hatred for your audience coupled with an extreme inability to craft a story that doesn't suck.

Most Offensive Plot Twist: Zach Fathering Bianca's Baby, All My Children

A quick recap:

Bianca, Kendall's sister, asked Zach, Kendall's husband and the brother of the man who raped Bianca and fathered her first child, to be the father of her second child. And Zach agrees. And neither of them mention it to Kendall.

There is probably an eloquent way to describe how completely terrible, offensive and downright ludicrous that entire premise is, but we are still stuck on the "Incoherent and Yelly" stage of rage: WHO THOUGHT THIS STORY WAS A GOOD IDEA AND WHY DID THEY THINK THAT WHYWHYWHY?

Cheesiest Moment: Nikki and Victor on the Beach, The Young and the Restless

There are times when we are embarrassed to be on the record as soap viewers.  That was one of those times.

Best Soap Child: TIE! Cameron Webber, General Hospital
and Kathy Martin, All My Children

Our fondness for Cameron Webber and Braden Walkes is well-documented and he continued to make Port Charles a better place in every scene in which he appeared this year. Over in Pine Valley, Kathy's awesome, albeit short-lived, descent into evil spawn territory gave Cam his first real competition in this category. When she ripped the head off of the "Krystal" doll she was playing with? AWESOME.

Honorable mention:  Cam's little bro Jake is gaining on him.

Jacknotimpressed

Duh Face of the Year: Sonny Corinthos, General Hospital

Becca:  I assume the Duh Face winner is the usual?
Mallory:  It is really just a matter of finding the best Maurice Benard pic.
Becca:  Totally. 
Mallory:  Sometimes I truly love our job. 

Sonnyduh2 
Sonnyduh3 
Sonnyduh4 SonnyduhfacetwoSonnyduhfacetwo2
SonnyMichaelBedside

Worst Attempt to Impersonate a Network Dedicated to Airing Soap Operas
and Preserving the Daytime Drama Genre:  SOAPNet

It's not surprising that a network helmed by Brian Frons is hopelessly inept, frustrating and embarrassing. What is surprising is the lengths that SOAPNet goes to to be those things.  Buying the rights to movies so bad that Lifetime passed up on them?  An attempt at celebreality showsUsing the website as a celebrity news and gossip siteSpending the Daytime Emmys pre-show promoting the career of a Disney singer?  All of those are terrible ideas and, above all, have NOTHING TO DO WITH SOAP OPERAS.

Screencaps courtesy of all our usual friends.  Thanks so much for all your great 'caps in 2008!

Comments

I'm 90% on board. . . .but I feel like Romancing the Tumor beats Blog Wars for preposterousness any day of the week.

(not least because the promos before Nikolas's operation to remove the tumor featured that Leona Lewis song--"you cut me open and I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love")

With the exception of the Jason/Liz stuff..I am on board. Those two did nothing for me although I admit to getting bored after the fifteenth break up because it was dangerous that lasted all of a week this year.

BRADEN WALKES FOR OUTSTANDING YOUNGER ACTOR IN 2009!!!!

And the Cam love war is ON! =)

I don't watch most of those shows, but I have got to add my opinion for Worst Couple status: Daniel and Colleen on Y&R! No chemistry at all and he was into someone else AND she knew it!!

My favorite part is worst hero (Jason) and worst heroine (Carly). When will TIIC at GH figure out that we want REAL heros and heroines to root for - not these sorry individuals?!?

I think Emma Scorpio-Drake is gaining on folks for cutest child!!

Can we put in a cutest baby category?!

She's a scene stealer.

The Door it makes me smile everytime!!!

I have a new category suggestion for you ladies.....Character who should chuck it all and open a shirtless daddy day care. This year's winners are Lucky, EJ and Patrick. And really wouldn't we all be winners there?

I agree with so much of your assessments, except the Jason and Liz stuff. This story really did the characters, the actors and all involved no favors. I cringed watching clips with them so I learned to fast forward. lol. Even though before this mess they were always two of my favorites on this show. Fanbases arent' promised anything, its sad that some spend so much money & time on what other fanbases don't spend a dime on other than for basic cable at home to enjoy the couples that have great chemistry, get great writing because the larger part of the audience loves them and then they get wonderful stories with loads of screen time. None of that costs a sigle penny only the network paying back fans for tuning in. :) I also want to send a special smile over Scrubs and Angie/Jessie! Thank You!

Scrubs, ScrubsEmma, any character w/the last name Scorpio/Devane esp. as written on GH Night Shift, even as on GH since the first almost Scrubs wedding & the new writers at NS2 WIN! I fast forward or zone out on the rest. Sorry.

I agree with mostly everything especially the love story they refused to tell because of whitewashing intervention politics of the Jason Morgan and Elizabeth Webber. We have perservered many of us for 9 years and will continue to endure. I appreciate the recognition. ~ViVa Liason~

its sad that some spend so much money & time on what other fanbases don't spend a dime on other than for basic cable at home to enjoy the couples that have great chemistry, get great writing because the larger part of the audience loves them and then they get wonderful stories with loads of screen time. None of that costs a sigle penny only the network paying back fans for tuning in.

Not only is that rude to the fanbase, but it's offensive to all soap watchers in general.

I can't think of one couple on GH besides Scrubs that has GOOD CHEMISTRY and a STORY. And Scrubs have had limited screen time compared to the suckiest couples on GH. Kate and Sonny had more of a story than Scrubs and not only was their past made up, it was flimsy at best and they had no chemistry. So they had one without the other, right. Story and no chem. Jax and Carly at least had some chemistry but their story sucked. And are there any other real couples than those three?

So your claim that hanging on for a couple for years only to get nothing while "better" coughSonny&KAtecough get more story because they have better chemistry(?) and more fans want to see them-- one, makes no sense, and two, is insulting to soap watchers everywhere!

The actors, fans all think alike. Jason and Liz could have been a SuperCouple had the writers written for them. The best chemistry ever. Always loving, no death threats and a beautiful child. Their ratings are sinking lower and lower each week as they just don't get that you cannot whitewash a character and make those that already hated her change thier minds. It's too unbelievable that Jason would EVER want her again, especially since he finally got Liz. Nobody is watching, the show will be cancelled within the year.

Ahhh, have so had enough with the Kate hatred! Obviously the writers decided to sacrfice the core of her character in order to prop characters like Olivia, Claudia, Carly. And the viewers and apparently bloggers were manipulated into letting the writers do it. As long as these little tricks the writers pull have the desired effect, really awesome characters like Kate will continue to be thrown under the bus for the likes of the "Carlys". Saaaaaaaad.

As usual, spot on work, ladies. Thank you for making me laugh so hard I snorted Coca-cola out of my nose. I'm looking forward to the next year of witty and hilarious recaps.

I LOVED this and agreed with a lot of it...esp the GH and Liz and Jason stuff..SUPERCOUPLE written all over their too beautiful faces..yes we got screwed AGAIN...but we are still hopeful that someone is paying attention somewhere.....well not Brian Frons because that part was more dead on that the rest of it!!! He needs to get a clue as to what viewers want to watch! I LOVE Megan and Laura but can't stand Carly and her same old same old and Kate sadly needs to be kicked. Loved Nadine to start but annoying is a nice word for what they did to her. Cameron and Jake tie my book for absolute cutest! Love Sonny and always will but we can kick him lately too.

Also have to say I love anything with Nicki and Victor so I will take the beach scenes...those two are too wonderful together. And Angie and Jesse back together just warms my heart.

Great job!

I so, so agree. While their are choices I might make different, overall I totally agree and I can so see why you picked them

Now my favorite isn't the one most people would guess(its not best couple, most improved show, best show, best actor, best tearjerker, best recast, best return, best "bad girl", worst villain, worst hero, or best soap child[why do I feel I named half the categories?]; though I completely agree and adore those choices), but it certainly is one of the best: Duh Face of the Year. I mean, really, what else needs to be said but that?

Again I applaude your awesomeness.

By far the worst screwing of probably the biggest fanbase a soap has had in years. They're finally showing their might. The GH sweeps tank is courtesy of the Liason fanbase finally saying enough is enough and turning off their television sets. If they continue with this crap that Jason would forgive that tramp enough to take her back, the show is destined for cancellation. That fanbase won't be back...

Great job ladies!!

Although I must admit - I think Baby Jake overshadowed his big brother this year because it was unexpected (or maybe it was your post about that particular picture that still makes me LOL..."I will never forget beyotch" LOLOL!!)

Well, I had my suspicions before, but now I know - you guys REALLY only watch Y&R because you kind of have to with writing for SOD and all.

You showed the evil screencaps again!?!?!?!?!

On Boston Legal many years ago there was a case about a drug that removed recent memories permanently, therefore eliminating the possibility of getting PTSD from a traumatic event. Unlikely but thought provoking. A mild Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind if you will.

If such a drug was actually available I would have begged borrowed and stole to get some after seeing limo sex! Think of the horror I would have been spared.

Forget Limo Sex Sarah..such a drug could take us all back to mid 90s GH! Think of the DECADES of horror we would all be spared!

Scorching chemistry between Steve Burton and Becky Herbst? I never saw it. Jason and Liz were the two most boring characters *ever*. And if the Liason fans are the Most Tortured Fanbase, they tortured themselves because Jason and Liz never were never a "couple". There was a reason GH didn't do them the first time and that was the same reason they didn't do them this time. Zzzzzzzzz !!!

WOW, you guys are so right on! IA with Scrubs being the best couple. I adore them. LOL at best hero/heroine and CarSon's limo sex. ITA with best returns as well.

Love reading what you guys have to say. It's really entertaining.

I agree with most of it except any part that mentions Jason and Liz. They were the WORST couple this year, excuse me, non-couple. I may hate Ejami but at least they have chemistry, I don't see a OUNCE of chemistry coming from Jason and Liz. Both of them are MORALLY incompatible. Jason kills people and Liz saves those said people. Where can this be accepted, anywhere? No amount of writing or rewriting of these characters will EVER make me think that Jason and Liz are written in the stars.

The most tortured fanbase is Liason?! You have got to be kidding me. The most tortured fanbase is SOAP FANS IN GENERAL. Half of the shows on the canvas don't follow history, rewrite scenes and characters, don't give a damn about their viewers AND could care less about what we say we want AFTER they have been shown to know nothing about the subject at hand. Name one soap on the canvas were the fans are happy. NOT A FANBASE but the fans of the show. I will wait for your answer (just not 10 years+).

Liason fans brought the drama ON THEMSELVES. NOTHING was promised to them on Jason and Liz being together. All they got out of the deal was something that NO other woman before Liz could give Jason....a son. After that, she (and vice versa) brought NOTHING to the character. Jason STILL kills people and Liz STILL saves those people. When you can rewrite someone over morally and not have the fans jump all over your back, that's when Jason and Liz will be together. But I will give you some advice, don't wait too long for that to happen.

I'm not trying to be brutal or mean but you just have to get over it by now. They have tried every single route with Jason and Liz and it ain't happening. They have tried to have them as friends, as secret lovers, as public lovers all those years back, what else is there for them to go? It comes a point in time where you have to admit that there is nothing that can be possibly done.

I was so looking forward to this column for weeks :) Great job!!

Will we also get the "best hair" and "best outfit" list soon. I'm so excited!

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