The Day's Dumbest Dialogue
I adore John Aniston. I think he is the quintessential soap villain. He IS Victor Kiriakis. I know it's super creepy and weird when people refer to actors by their characters' names, but come on, if you saw the dapper Mr. Aniston at the mall -- buying shoes or sipping an Orange Julius or seeing his daughter's dog movie -- you would totally squeal "Victor!!!" before you even knew what what was happening. This man fully embodies his character and can sell virtually any dialogue. He managed to make it through the entire James E. Reilly era without rolling his eyes onscreen or substituting expletives for the crap that passed for lines back then. But today, I learned that there is shitty writing that even John Aniston cannot salvage.
Phillip: Are you done yet?
Victor: No, I'm not done. I haven't even gotten to the point. Which is that you can take your outrage and your self-righteous wrath and shove it. Now, if that's ambiguous to either one of you, let me put it in the very direct words of my personal hero, the great Donald Trump. ::puts on strong New York accent:: You're fiyahed. Both of ya.
I realize this was all supposed to be part of Victor's Parent-Trap-esque manipulation of Brady and Phillip, but there are still at least a dozen things wrong with that conversation, including:
- The only person to whom Donald Trump is a personal hero is Donald Trump. And maybe Omarosa, if there is a camera nearby. Certainly NOT Victor Kiriakis, who would sooner let Trump turn all of Athens into a casino complex than idolize that obnoxious, fame-whoring asshole.
- "Shove it?" No. I'm sorry, Victor Kirakis does not say "shove it." I was already predicting a Victor-has-a-brain-tumor storyline after he said "Throw the bitch out on her ass" last week, but if that's not forthcoming and this is just these lazy writers' version of Kiriakis badassedness, I may have to curl up into the fetal position until 2009.
- "Now you two are more than just employees to me because you happen to be my descendants as well." NOBODY, fictional or real, talks like this. It is too ridiculous for even Damien Spinelli. There are people getting paid actual American dollars to write this crap?
- The fake accent. Let's never speak of it again.
This show is becoming more annnoying and ridiculous than this year's peep-toe boots trend. And I didn't think I would ever say that about anything.