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« Watching A Quality Soap Feels So Weird To Me These Days... | Main | I Literally Do Not Understand What These Words Mean »

February 09, 2009

File This Under "Too Little, Too Late"

My feelings for the character of Reese are infused with loathing that I will take a smackdown of her in any form that I can get one. Like, I'd gladly take characters who have had little to no interaction with The Great One confronting her about her awfulness, even if it made no sense in terms of plot. I'd actually pay money to see Opal and/or Palmer administer such a smackdown, but I will file that away as a silly pipe dream.

So part of me really enjoyed Bianca unloading and telling Reese what's what, especially since she was echoing the sentiments of the entire AMC viewing audience. The other part wonders why this epiphany of Reese's terribleness is only coming now, after the two of them ruined a handful of lives (not counting the audience, of course).

And the last part is seriously livid that Bianca's smackdown ended as soon as it started! But I am getting ahead of myself...

Bianca: Oh, my God, how selfish are you [!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Ed.]? So she looked at you funny and asked you a few questions. So that means that her boys should grow up without a mom and Zach without a wife? Hey, sorry, as long as you're --

Reese: Ok, Bianca, I never --

Bianca: Stop it, just stop it! Don't pretend that you know my sister when the fact is you don't have a clue.

Yes! Thank you! That's what we've been saying for months!

And we've long since established that Reese's worldview is assed up, as she believes that children conceived behind people's backs and hidden for months are cause for celebrations, but really, she thinks that a woman wakes up from a months long coma and finds out that her sister and a stranger made a baby with her husband and oh, by the way, all three of them are living at her house and Kendall's supposed to be all "Yay! Reese, let's braid each other's hair and sing 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' into our hairbrushes!" ?

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Bianca: I -- I know that my sister isn't easy, but there's a reason for that. Because she's been fighting since before she was born. She was a child conceived out of rape, and, therefore, she's been searching her whole life for who she is and where she belongs, all of it.  

Reese: Yeah, and she found herself. Look at what Kendall has become.

Bianca: Yes, yes, exactly, a wife, a mother, a fiercely loyal friend. It took a lot for her to get there, and when she finally does, what happens? A freak tornado comes along and almost costs her everything, but she survived. My sister woke up.

Reese: And it is a miracle.

Bianca: Yeah, a messy one, and it's going to take us all some time to adjust, but especially Kendall.

Reese: I get that.

Bianca: Well, then, why can't you just back off?

Reese: When did I become the enemy here?

Bianca: When you said that we would be better off if --

Reese: If what? See, you don't even know, do you? Because you never let me even finish.

Bianca: Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Was -- was I wrong? Go ahead, finish the sentence.

"I was gonna say...I...that...she...I...hey! I'M the victim here! Stop trying to make me feel bad!"

Reese: Why? Why should I Because it doesn't matter to you. It doesn't matter to you what i think. It doesn't matter to you what i feel. All you care about is Kendall.

"She's just your sister! I mean, GOSH, how long have you even known her?! I am awesome!" 

Bianca: Oh, my -- excuse me for caring about my sister. She did just wake up from a coma.

Reese: It has nothing to do with the coma. The bottom line is you are choosing her over me.

Bianca: Right now? Yeah, you bet I am

Binks, you know when would it would have been a good time to choose your sister over Reese? When it came time to conceive a baby with her husband's sperm.

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Bianca: Not as much as Kendall. I should have thought about her instead of just getting so swept up in us.

To paraphrase Robbie Hart in The Wedding Singer, that is something that should have been brought to your attention sometime before you got pregnant with her husband's baby!

Reese: There you go, there you go. That is exactly what I am talking about. Look at us. I mean, lookat us. We have this wonderful life. You and me and the girls, and all of -- all i want to do is get swept up, and you won't let us.

HEAD. EXPLOSION. DULL PAIN. IN SOUL.

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But Bianca's glory was short-lived, as Erica urged her to patch things up with Reese and they made nice and blah blah blah, ABC gets a few more days to pretend that they are filming a ground-breaking lesbian romance.

And Erica's advice was sound: when you love someone, you love them warts and all. But...I don't get this all-encompassing love from Reese and Bianca, mostly because the writers are incapable of writing romance and also, Bianca and Reese knew pretty much nothing about the other for the duration of their relationship. What kind of a romance is that?

The other, more obvious reason that Erica's advice (and Bianca's decision to take it) was terrible is that Reese is the world's worst human being.

Comments

"She's just your sister! I mean, GOSH, how long have you even known her?! I am awesome!"

Holy crap, full of win.

Mallory? You make me smile. Could Reese be any more pathetic? Don't answer that, cause I think we are about to find out. And to think, when this story draws to a close, Bianca is still gonna be with this skank.

Mercy, Reese is unbearable, isn't she?

So much destruction for such a piece of crap. I can't even call her a character, because she isn't. She's just this huge vortex of whiny,MEMEMELOOKATME suck.It's not even fun to hate her. It's just painful,and you get the feeling even Pratt doesn't know a way out of this mess.

Did they honestly think we would root for this mess over Kendall?

Bitch, please.

To think there was a time when I thought I might actually like Reese and be happy that Bianca found someone who was good for her. How foolish and naive I was.**

**I would like it noted that such thoughts took place before before Reese came to town.

"I know that my sister isn't easy, but there's a reason for that. Because she's been fighting since before she was born. She was a child conceived out of rape, and, therefore, she's been searching her whole life for who she is and where she belongs, all of it."

You know, I totally got this from the character when Sarah Michelle Gellar was in the role, but the Minshew recast has drained all the life out of the character (something I could never say when SMG was scheming and tearing through Pine Valley like a force of nature). And while I'd love to blame the (god awful) writing, the fact is big hair never takes the place of real acting.

Not to defend bad decision making, but at least Bianca and Reese got the permission of their sperm donor before inseminating their eggs (unlike Spike's blessed mother).

"The other, more obvious reason that Erica's advice (and Bianca's decision to take it) was terrible is that Reese is the world's worst human being."

<3

I so flove all your analyses!

'...she thinks that a woman wakes up from a months long coma and finds out that her sister and a stranger made a baby with her husband and oh, by the way, all three of them are living at her house and Kendall's supposed to be all "Yay! Reese, let's braid each other's hair and sing 'Ain't No Mountain High Enough' into our hairbrushes!" ?'

OMFG Mallory I should KNOW by now not to mix the reading of your columns with beverage consumption!


Don't you think that Reese has a few child-stealings and several more adulterous fornication events to go to become the World's Worst Human Being? Babe has that title branded into her very soul, where it flashes on the eternal plane, lighting the way to hell and beyond.

Reese is a sorry waste of skin, true, and fast becoming an Arabella minion. It's only a matter of time before a nice tornado gets her. She wants "swept"? Yuh!

Ha! buddz, Babe will forever retain her title, but technically, I'd have to describe her as the afterlife's worst human being.

Bianca, if this blog had been around at the time of the surrogate disaster, I would have been bitching endlessly about it, trust me.

Bianca came fairly close during that exchange to being redeemed in my eyes, but aside from that, she was on the verge of really saying something amazing there- the Truth! This show is mind-boggling in it's scope of ridiculousness concerning every single aspect of this inane s/l. I just shake my head everyday. Can't we please move on from this nightmare, cut our losses & never repeat this horror! I just want my Zach back the way he was. And Reese- well the bug-eyed troll can go back to Gay Paree anytime now & I think I will pop open some champagne for that!

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