The fact that somebody thought to themselves, "You know what would be awesome? GIRL SPINELLI. High five!" and not only made that happen, but collected a paycheck for it, fills me with sadness at the state of our world. It also makes me a little jealous, to be honest. Why don't I get paid for having terrible ideas? I am so in the wrong line of work.
It's like, I look back on the weeks that I spent complaining about Nadine and her plow patent, and I want to smack my former self for not realizing how good she had it! I would gladly take Nadine's hammy facial expressions and limitless social awkwardness over Winifred.
Winifred: Well, Mr. Jackal will be most distressedd if something happened to you.
Winifred: While i would not object to you facing a fiery doom, Mr. Jackal would mind very much. So, on his behalf, I am going to remind you that the Jackal canbe resourceful, and keeping that in mind, I'm advising you to stay here where it will be safe.
Because I was unwilling to accept the notion that more than one person in the GH universe uses Spinelli-speak--which, may I remind you, is one of the most irritating, overdone and RIDICULOUS things on General Hospital and when something stands out on General Hospital for being irritating, overdone and ridiculous, that says a lot, and none of it good--I assumed that Winifred adopted it solely for the purpose of getting close to him and then hand him over to the FBI? Why is she still using it now? Why are two human beings on this show using it at all? Is it just to drive the audience crazy? Because I feel like it's unwise to purposely drive the three dozen people still watching to quit in a fit of anger.
And we are expected to believe that this woman spends her workday amongst law enforcement agents carrying weapons and not one of them has felt compelled to shoot her? Not buying it, sorry.
Speaking of Spinelli...I'd like to call for an end to soliloquies describing how he's the greatest person to ever walk the earth:
Maxie: I don't get it either, but Spinelli is the sweetest, most generous person I've ever met and he's really, really smart.
Winifred: He's a genius.
Maxie: You think? It's not just all the cyber stuff, though. Spinelli knows everything about everything. He knows about music and art and opera. I bet he's read every book that's ever been written. And he's not just a genius with numbers. He would give anything to anybody.
I mean, really, that sort of praise should be reserved for Jason and Jason only.