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« Geek Chic | Main | The Day's Dumbest Dialogue: Ironically, It Hurts My Heart »

February 19, 2009

Ultra Satisfying

It's exceedingly rare that there's anything on All My Children to celebrate, let alone three things worthy of celebration, but yesterday's episode was filled with bon mots, truth-telling and passionate declarations that can only be described as righteous.

AIDAN VS. RYAN

Despite the fact that Greenlee's dive off of a cliff was clearly an accident and not nefarious murder, I am enjoying everybody's hysterical assertions that Zach and/or Ryan killed her, if only because it puts to rest the notion that only women can be drama queens.

Aidan, who I once described as foxy yet pointless, has come a long way since his days as dull scenery and his commitment to knocking down Sir Ryan Lavery is commendable and entertaining. 

Aidan: You kept on it, didn't you? You kept pushing and pushing and pushing until she finally gave in. Did you give her the perfect future that you promised her? No, you didn't, did you -- because she has no future now, because you killed her.

Melodramatic rage is at its best when directed at Ryan.

Aidan: Oh, nothing's ever your fault because you're always such the perfect hero, aren't you, Ryan? Well, the truth is you ruin everything you touch. First, Gillian, then Annie, and now, Greenlee.

!!!!!

Oh, Aidan! Way to make me swoon! Brutal, succinct and pure truth.

ERICA VS. ZACH

While I understand that Zach was frustrated with Kendall literally shutting him out, I feel like he picked the wrong outlet for said frustration when he stepped to Erica, Erica Kane.

Zach: She can't shut me out.

Erica: I really thought you were different than other men. But you're just like all the rest. You really let me down, Zach.

Zach: You know what -- this has nothing to do with you. It's between me and my wife.

Erica: Oh, really? Well, surely you don't expect me to just stand by and watch while you tear apart both my daughter's lives.

It was a pity that Zach snapped back with:

Zach: What I expect you to do is mind your own business. You don't know what you're talking about.

Because, first of all, you have no idea what kind of weaponry that woman has hidden in her hair. One wiseass remark and you can find yourself on the wrong end of, like, an Uzi.

And also...she's more than a little bit right. Actually, she's one hundred percent right. Zach is at the center of the drama hurting both of her daughters AND he shot her son. Maybe it's just me, but I'd tread lightly if I were Zach.

ERICA VS. REESE

Erica took her act on the road, hitting everybody's least-favorite character with some knowledge. Some harshly worded, over-the-top, deliciously soapy knowledge.

Erica: Yeah, but Bianca never gave up faith. And who did she put her faith in? A selfish, two-timing, home-wrecking slut.

I feel like the only way I would have liked that better is if Erica had used the word tramp or, ideally, harlot.

Erica: Or maybe you used the same twisted logic that saved your sorry rear end in the past. You lied about your past to protect Bianca? So you seduced Zach to, what -- pull this family closer together?

This is why she is a legend, people.  

REESE VS. LOGIC

POP QUIZ

Your wife despises you. Your sister-in-law despises you even more. Your pseudo-quasi-boyfriend dumps you because your relationship ruins more lives than natural disasters. What do you do?

(A) Follow your wife, despite her protestations, because you really want to work things out

(B) Book it to a hotel  to give everybody their space

(C) Hang out at your sister-in-law and pseudo-quasi-boyfriend's house

WHAT THE HELL?!

KENDALL VS. REESE

The Kane family's flair for the dramatic is strong, as Kendall and her mother echoed each other's four letter summation of Reese.

Kendall: Yeah, well, if I had been awake, i could have stopped it before it started. Sent Bianca and that stupid slut back to France.

The "stupid" makes it art.

And, upon finding Reese in her home despite the fact that everybody in the combined Kane/Slater family, not to mention the viewing audience, hates her:

Kendall: What are you doing in my house? Don't tell me Zach had the nerve to bring you here.

Reese: No, I have no idea where Zach is. And I haven't figured out where to go.

Kendall: Vive la France.

Hee!

I imagine that Kendall's health issues are what prevented her from punctuating her thoughts with fisticuffs. 

BIANCA VS. REESE

I think that Bianca's confrontation with Reese may be my favorite of all of yesterday's smackdowns, if only because it provided the greatest quips.

Reese: That's not at all what I'm saying.

Bianca: Human beings are complicated, but one thing's not -- fidelity. Fidelity is black and white. It means you don't cheat.

Bianca 1, Reese 0

Reese: Bianca, what i am trying to explain is that --

Bianca: You're a little late. You're just a little late. And maybe you should have mentioned your attraction to Zach's soul before we got married. Maybe you should have thought about what this would mean for our entire lives.

Bianca 2, Reese 0

Reese: Ok, well, you know what? That's all I have been doing for weeks.

Bianca: And yet, you kept me in the dark. Just like your last fiance.

Bianca 3, Reese 0

Bianca: Are you responsible for anything in your life? Hiding huge chunks of your past from me, jumping my brother-in-law in our church before our wedding day.

Bianca 4, Reese 0

Bianca: Are you kidding me right now? You broke our vows before we even said them.

Bianca 5, Reese 0

Bianca: So you just kept rolling along, just trying on wedding dresses and playing bridal bingo. What is wrong with you?

Bianca 705, Reese 0 (Points adjusted due to the sheer awesomeness of name-checking bridal bingo)

Bianca: What is it about him that is so irresistible? You know what? No. I'm -- I'm going to go now. I'm going to go now. I am going to go now, and I'm going to leave you alone, so that you can get ready for Zach. You should change into something sexy, open up a bottle of wine, wait for him to come home so that the two of you can consummate our wedding night.

Bianca Infinity, Reese 0

Divider

Comments

I can't believe that I am saying this but, AMC was really good yesterday. loved how my sexy Aidan spoke the truth about the towns "hero" Ryan. But what I loved the most were the Cane Women totally bitch slapping Reese one at a time, she so deserved it!!! But in my opinion, Bianca did her thang the best the Queen B award goes to: BIANCA!! she Rocked it!

Aidan is my guy day in and day out - but no one out bitches Erica Kane - ever!

Psyched to see Aidan getting some mad props! So deserved - he's been a one man mission in bringing down Saint Lavery. It's a beautiful thing.

that poll was incredibly tough. All 4 of them wore the bitchy so well.

You missed one of my favorite lines from Bianca. My fave was "Lesbians don't just go around kissing men."

My favorite part was, and I can't remember what exactly she was saying it in response to, but when Bianca said to Reese, incredulously, "Are you INSANE?" LOLOL. Good times, good times.

So we've finally figured out what AMC has been missing for months: Kendall. We all felt her absence and could tell the shit was going to hit the fan when she woke up, but did anyone expect it to be this juicy?

sweetgjb, I totally agree that this was the first time in a LONG time I've actually enjoyed AMC. I squealed with utter delight when Aiden called out Ryan. And the door slamming on Reese's face was pure joy. Keep it up AMC.

P.S. I know I'm only setting myself up for a fall, but I'm going to try to stay positive about the soapy goodness happening in Pine Valley.

Now if we can get all the Kane women lined up to go at Zach, we'd be in business. Heck- line them up like the characters in Airplane! and have them all yielding weapons intensifying the pain with each bitchy comment.

amc has been really entertaining lately. serioulsy amc and oltl are blwoing gh's doors off these days

Agreed, Binks smackdown of Reeks was a thing of beauty.

The only thing keeping me from enjoying it completely? The idea that Binks is wahing about betrayal after the huge ass betrayal she pulled on her sister. You know, the sister who was willing to die for her.

That, and the tacky line about her feeling as if she was raped again.Tacky, but par for the AMC course these days.

Ask Kendall how she feels these days, Binks.

The rage. It BURNS.

(quote)That, and the tacky line about her feeling as if she was raped again.Tacky, but par for the AMC course these days.(quote)

That line was awful. How insensitive. But your right that its not that shocking considering how AMC is these days.

OMG! There was a Gillian mention! Wow. That reminds of a time when I didn't completely hate Ryan. I had forgotten such feelings existed.

Wait, maybe that was the point? Use the brief mention of Ryan's less douchey former self to make me think better of the show's "hero." If so, well played, writers. It only lasted a moment but, considering how surprised I am you even know that such a character existed, well played.

Yes, Bianca's verbal bitch slap of Reese was a thing of beauty. Erica would have been most proud. However, I can't enjoy it to much because, if the spoilers play out as reported, Bianca will be back to accept Slut!Reese back into her loving arms. And after saying her betrayal by Reese was like being raped again, how could she even think of letting that woman near here? I agree the line was way out of place, but let's say it's how she felt. How do you go from that to wanting to get back together, all the while being separated by an ocean? It boggles the mind, but leave to AMC to do it then declare it groundbreaking.

Also, why was Bianca moving into the casino when she and her ho bride already live there? Weren't they like kicked out by Kendall?

And why on earth does Tamara Braun have Reese smile every time after being accused of or called out on for doing something wrong? It's like this shit-eating smirk she comes up with. Does she not know that does not endear Reese to the viewers???

Kendall and Bianca really brought it; I can't stand Erica, so that was a no-go, but for sheer speaking what viewers have been saying forever, the edge goes to Aidan.

Kane Women=True Greatness!! and Ryan getting told off for being a dumbass by anyone is fantastic.

Thursday's show made me hate Reese even more, for a second she made me like Ryan. She tried to blame him for ruining her relationship with Bianca(What a joke!!) and he gave it right back to her. Yes Ryan Lavery is the cause of most things bad in the world but Reese is poison and has no one to blame but herself.

The Ryan like did not last very long though because later in the episode there was what appeared to be foreshadowing of a Ryan/Kendall romantic reunion. If that happens...it's so upsetting I can't even figure out a good threat.

I've never been an AMC viewer accept for a few scenes here and there, but I have watched GH for over 15 years. I can honestly say that this s/l is way better than anything GH has going on right now by a land slide. My favorite line recently was Zach to Ryan: Then you should have kept your mouth shut! (Ha!) and a close second Kendall to Reese: Viva La France!

Note: The key to a great needy, pathetic, dumb ho performance is that audiences must believe that the character believes ever ridiculous thing coming out of their mouths. Tamara Braun plays that part whether it be Carly or Reese like no other. How can you listen/watch Reese and not think are you crazy?

Sadly, my favorite Bianca bitch-out was not included in this delightful recap.

"Are you saying this was a rookie mistake?!"

Brilliant.

natty3, you hit the nail right on the head. How can Bianca keep accusing Reese of betrayal, when she is guilty of the biggest betrayal of all. Both of them need to get out of town and out of Zach and Kendall's lives.

I don't watch "The View" and I sure as hell don't want to watch "The Chew."

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