Who Knew That ABC Was So Charitable?

For the second time in as many months, ABC has released a promo for All My Children that explicitly shows pretty much everything that's going to happen during their latest attempt at a shocking storyline. First, they aired a promo showing Josh's robbery/death/heart donation weeks before any of it actually aired. And now, again, there's a new ad spotlighting everything to come, which pretty much makes watching the actual show pointless.

Perhaps fearing for the sanity of the All My Children watching public, knowing  that exposure to the stories taking place during sweeps will undoubtedly cause us anguish, ABC has decided to spoil the upcoming events for us to spare us the pain of actually watching.

Perhaps they are not doing it to be kind, but instead to save themselves from the prospect of a massive class action lawsuit filed by AMC viewers who were driven insane by watching full episodes of upcoming events.

Perhaps the ABC promo department is just as inept as everybody else involved in this clusterfuck of a network.

I don't know. All I know is that I know exactly what's coming up on this show and all of it is terrible.

The extremely spoiler-y promo, equal parts rage-inducing and unintentionally funny, is below:

At the very least, I am looking forward to new and exciting ways to say "HATE" and "awful". I will be watching with a thesaurus handy and, at some point, will probably have to start making words up.

Comments

[minirth]

Oh. My. GAWD.

The sickening irony is that I started watching the week that Ryan drove his motorcycle off a cliff. I've come full circle, y'all, and it's worse than I could have imagined. How is it possible that AMC gets worse with every new writing team? This whole Reese/Zach thing makes me nostalgic for the halcyon days of Zarf!

[Cece]

Greenlee on a motorcycle in her wedding dress? Seriously? No, seriously? Why is this show all kinds of awful? Why is Zach kissing the confused lesbian? Why, why, why? (((invoking Sally Field a la "Steel Magnolias)))

On a side note, why isn't this show called "All My Unhappy Children"? Was Kathy not the saddest creature since Emma when she told Amanda she just wants a mommy who loves her and sticks around?

I say let Erica, Erica Kane have both of them and diva-fy them into the women they should grow up to be.

[Sarah]

That's the death they give Greenlee after all the pimping and preening? SAD. And stupid and insulting and pathetic...

And why would any viewer or fan buy Zach kissing the bisexual Carly # 2? Is there a story or a recognizable character anywhere on AMC?

And to put it all in a teaser trailer leaving NADA to actually watch this shitfest for? How in the world is this supposed to increase ratings?

There is no excuse or explanation for any of this. OLTL should find a new network. GH and AMC are poison toxic sphere balls and we are all choking to death on them!

[steph]

I don't know why but that clip of Greenlee riding off in that motorcycle had me thinking "Run Away Bride", AMC style LOL!!

I mean, WOW! can this soap get anymore EFFED up??? Really?!

Zach kissing Reese! Really?!

And i thought Reese was madly in love with Bianca and was going to marry her!

What are the writers of this soap smoking??

[Cate]

So I used to have just an unhappiness with AMC but after the last few weeks and this promo the unhappiness has grown to full blown GH-like hatred.

[Heather]

Greenlee the Biker Bride just might top Marlena-Meets-Door as my favorite soap moment of all time... and I don't even watch AMC!

[Sue]

I can't beleive we were all so happy to get rid of McTavish. The subsequent writers have destroyed the show even more. I really want to thank AMC for this promo because now I will make sure that I am NOT tuning in to watch this crapfest. As bad as GH is, it's no where near as bad as AMC.

[Donna]

I've posted a higher quality clip on my youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ddpool

[Birdie]

Good Lord, can Reese be any whinier? All these people make me doubt myself! Uh, let's see, you didn't know who you were to begin with, meaning your confused about your sexuality, meaning the mean old parents YOU disowned were absolutely right about you. Additionally, you and that other twit Bianca decided to bring an innocent child into a doomed relationship because you now suddenly decide you want a man. God! What a trainwreck of a character! Whiney, selfish, annoying and as boring to watch as paint drying.

[Chad]

Granted, I don't watch AMC but...DO THEY JUST REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT A GAY PERSON IS?!?!

[Femina]

Thanks AMC for the heads up. I'll gladly use my time cleaning the house, washing the clothes, making dinner, or maybe yet, I'll simply watch the snow fall outside my window instead of watching this frakking mess. Have the writers just decided to give up? I know I have.

[Dia]

I saw that today and I have to say Greenlee going off the cliff on a motorcycle with her veil flapping in the breeze was just about the funniest thing I've ever seen.

[Anna]

YES!! I hate Grenlee

[Wick]

Who did RB piss off for that craptastic and cheeze filled send off?

And for the love of GOD - stop putting Kendall in those caps!!!

[Beth R.]

Thank you Wick...I was wondering if I was the only one more horrified by that cap than anything else in that promo.

[Carl]

No wonder RB trashed the show in her exit interview.

Don't you know all lesbians are just waiting for the right man to turn them straight?

[LauraBB]

We have gone from - love in the afternoon, to - love, the most dangerous choice you can make. Hee, funny. In a sad, not soapy way.

[Lauren]

Apologies for going off topic, but could one of you girls give a proper ass kicking to Days? I empathize with you two for having to watch any of these shows--god knows you suffer for the many who no longer have the constitution--but Days needs their feet held to the fire, too. I mean, they just canned Mary Beth Evans and Stephen Nichols. Isn't there something to work with there?

[n69n]

what self-respecting person is gonna watch that?

[Lisa]

I finally saw the ad and immediately thought of you guys.

My god, that was hilarious and not in a good way. Uh, who's on the motorcycle in a wedding veil? Is it supposed to be Bianca? It didn't look like her. And why is a woman who's just awoken from a coma/had a heart transplant driving a car wildly on a dark and stormy night?

AMC must have caught the suck from GH.