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« Pardon Me While I Dry Heave... | Main | Awful Squared + Terrible x 95 »

March 09, 2009

Does The CW Stand For "Crazy Wrong"?

Despite the fact that I publicly begged them not to do this and despite the fact that the new 90210 has become shorthand for boring, terrible and awfully acted garbage, the CW is going ahead with their harebrained scheme to remake Melrose Place and remake it POORLY.

Exhibit A: Rumors continue to swirl that Mischa Barton will be joining the cast, when, in this time of economic peril, it would be more cost-effective and acting-award worthy to put a wig on a piece of driftwood and call it a day

Exhibit B: The big name star joining the cast is Ashlee Simpson, former national joke, current holder of the "Dumbest Celebrity Baby Name" title, and alum of 7th Heaven

Multiple sources confirm that singer-songwriter-sometime actress Ashlee Simpson has become the latest tenant of The CW's refurbished Melrose Place.

The onetime 7th Heavenstar will play small-town girl Violet, a character whose disarming naiveté masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within.

Exhibit C: A disturbing lack of Michael Mancini mentions. If the producers of this ill-fated remake knew anything about providing cheesy awesomeness, they would know that Dr. Michael Mancini is an integral part of any Melrose related endeavor. The fact that the producers have not come to this realization does not bode well for the success of this show.

Comments

'Ashlee Simpson' What a disgrace for that to be there big coup. I refuse to watch this show and ruin the good sudsy memories of the original.

Speaking of primetime suds with Gossip Girl returning next week. Can we hope for a return of the reviews? It would be great I love reading the snark.

You're SO right about everything, particularly ab the Michael Mancini bit. Michael and Heather were like the whole point of the show!!

This whole Melrose Place remake idea is so spectacularly bad that I have trouble believe it isn't the brainchild of ABC Daytime.

Just read this over at the HuffPo and thought of you guys. I can't say I'm surprised that they're redoing the show because unimaginative and lame is synonymous with every idea TV execs have come up with within the last several years, save for the folks at AMC.

I"m looking for a silver lining, here... Oh, I found it!

Maybe they'll steal Chuck Pratt away from AMC, which will somehow result in AMC getting a headwriter who isn't a talentless, misogynistic hack who steals dumb plot lines like grief sex.

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