Yesterday was a terrible day on every conceivable level. I stabbed myself in the eye when I was putting mascara on, I spilled a jar of expensive moisturizer and couldn't salvage any of it, I was given a Vanilla Latte instead of a Cinnamon Dolce, I am apparently the only person in the world who understands the concept of right of way at four-way stop signs, I am stressed in general, Tuesday's American Idol inspired every radio station to play Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 nonstop and it was like my day of hell had its own Satan approved soundtrack or something.
My woes were too petty to justify popping open a vein, so I decided to do the next most painful thing: watch General Hospital.
When people tell me that I am too negative and I should stop watching GH if I hate everything about it, I always point out that I don't hate everything. I love Liz, and Patrick, and Robin, and Tracy, and Maxie...or at least I DID, because after yesterday's episode, it's glaringly obvious that the show won't even let me have that (except Liz. Liz is still on my good side. As is Carly. By default, Carly is now my second favorite character andohmigodwhatishappeningtotheworld?)
I will let national treasure Stephen Colbert sum up my feelings: ON NOTICE. THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM.
These writers couldn't be trusted to do a good job telling the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly, so I am not sure why anybody thought they could be trusted to tell a genuine, realistic PPD story. Why would they do that when they could just have the same conversation over and over ("There's something wrong with you/No there's not, how can you say that?"), with Robin occasionally leaving Emma in strange places to break up the monotony.
Her digs are a bit better these days, and I have to say, she didn't look too sad to be abandoned in Kelly's.
She's just chilling. She knows Bobbie will have her back. Just kidding, Bobbie doesn't actually exist anymore.
Robin: That's great. That's just great. We have a big fight, and then he decides to tell everybody about it.
If Robin is this upset about Patrick discussing her with his brother, how will she feel when she finds out that his concerns have been broadcast to Sam and Carly, among others? (Note: she will not feel slighted when she learns that he discussed this with Jason because, well, that's what we do when we need guidance. We discuss it with our deity of choice)
Patrick: What if something is wrong with Robin? You just went and made it worse. Thank you very much for that.
Who would trust this man to operate on their brain?
Was it Matt's place to say something to Robin? Normally, I would say no, but someone has to say something. The woman put her child in a tree and everybody was all, "Hey, it happens".
And also...Patrick is convinced 90% of the time that there is something wrong with Robin. His so-called solution to this problem is to talk about it with all of Port Charles and...leave the woman whose mental health he is worried about alone with his daughter. Brilliant.
And SERIOUSLY? WITH THE COAT? SERIOUSLY!?
Now they are just being mean.
Maxie: I guess this means Spinelli is ok, but what if he's doing something illegal and then he gets arrested? Between that and the hacking, he's going to end up spending therest of his life in prison.
Yes, Maxie, he is. That's what happens when you work for a criminal organization. Why is this always breaking news when it comes to Spinelli? "He's just threatening national security! He's soooo nice, you can't send him to prison!"
Luke: Payday is Saturday. You want money before then, you're going to have to come with some creative way to generate it.
I...do not feel comfortable with that line.
Nor did I feel comfortable with the entirety of the Luke/Lucky dilemma of the day. I HATE how Luke has become such a loser in the past few years and I HATE that Tony Geary thinks that this is a brilliant character development. I know he only works eight days a year, but maybe those eight days would be better spent doing something besides ruining one of the best characters in daytime history? Just a crazy theory of mine. I think outside the box, you know?
But don't mind me, I'm also the type of person who thinks that being a cop is a better career goal than being a drifter, or a hired killer.
I hate you and your hair and...just shut it.
When the writers even manage to make Tracy irritating, well...they are obviously doing it on purpose, you know?
The woman is usually 60% awesome, 10% bitchy, 15% sassy and 15% voice of reason, which makes it especially disappointing that she joined the Lucky hate brigade.
Tracy: Well, did it ever occur to you, if you'd been a better son, he might have been a better father?