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« Self-Centeredness, Thy Name Is Victor | Main | All He Needs Is A Handlebar Mustache To Twirl »

March 12, 2009

General Haterade

Yesterday was a terrible day on every conceivable level. I stabbed myself in the eye when I was putting mascara on, I spilled a jar of expensive moisturizer and couldn't salvage any of it, I was given a Vanilla Latte instead of a Cinnamon Dolce, I am apparently the only person in the world who understands the concept of right of way at four-way stop signs, I am stressed in general, Tuesday's American Idol inspired every radio station to play Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5 nonstop and it was like my day of hell had its own Satan approved soundtrack or something.

My woes were too petty to justify popping open a vein, so I decided to do the next most painful thing: watch General Hospital.

When people tell me that I am too negative and I should stop watching GH if I hate everything about it, I always point out that I don't hate everything. I love Liz, and Patrick, and Robin, and Tracy, and Maxie...or at least I DID, because after yesterday's episode, it's glaringly obvious that the show won't even let me have that (except Liz. Liz is still on my good side. As is Carly. By default, Carly is now my second favorite character andohmigodwhatishappeningtotheworld?)

I will let national treasure Stephen Colbert sum up my feelings: ON NOTICE. THE WHOLE LOT OF THEM.



These writers couldn't be trusted to do a good job telling the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly, so I am not sure why anybody thought they could be trusted to tell a genuine, realistic PPD story. Why would they do that when they could just have the same conversation over and over ("There's something wrong with you/No there's not, how can you say that?"), with Robin occasionally leaving Emma in strange places to break up the monotony.

Her digs are a bit better these days, and I have to say, she didn't look too sad to be abandoned in Kelly's.


She's just chilling. She knows Bobbie will have her back. Just kidding, Bobbie doesn't actually exist anymore.

Robin: That's great. That's just great. We have a big fight, and then he decides to tell everybody about it.

If Robin is this upset about Patrick discussing her with his brother, how will she feel when she finds out that his concerns have been broadcast to Sam and Carly, among others? (Note: she will not feel slighted when she learns that he discussed this with Jason because, well, that's what we do when we need guidance. We discuss it with our deity of choice)

Patrick: What if something is wrong with Robin? You just went and made it worse. Thank you very much for that.

Who would trust this man to operate on their brain?

Was it Matt's place to say something to Robin? Normally, I would say no, but someone has to say something. The woman put her child in a tree and everybody was all, "Hey, it happens".

And also...Patrick is convinced 90% of the time that there is something wrong with Robin. His so-called solution to this problem is to talk about it with all of Port Charles and...leave the woman whose mental health he is worried about alone with his daughter. Brilliant.



Now they are just being mean.


Maxie: I guess this means Spinelli is ok, but what if he's doing something illegal and then he gets arrested? Between that and the hacking, he's going to end up spending therest of his life in prison.

Yes, Maxie, he is. That's what happens when you work for a criminal organization. Why is this always breaking news when it comes to Spinelli? "He's just threatening national security! He's soooo nice, you can't send him to prison!"



Luke: Payday is Saturday. You want money before then, you're going to have to come with some creative way to generate it.

I...do not feel comfortable with that line.

Nor did I feel comfortable with the entirety of the Luke/Lucky dilemma of the day. I HATE how Luke has become such a loser in the past few years and I HATE that Tony Geary thinks that this is a brilliant character development. I know he only works eight days a year, but maybe those eight days would be better spent doing something besides ruining one of the best characters in daytime history? Just a crazy theory of mine. I think outside the box, you know?

But don't mind me, I'm also the type of person who thinks that being a cop is a better career goal than being a drifter, or a hired killer.



I hate you and your hair and...just shut it.


When the writers even manage to make Tracy irritating, well...they are obviously doing it on purpose, you know?


The woman is usually 60% awesome, 10% bitchy, 15% sassy and 15% voice of reason, which makes it especially disappointing that she joined the Lucky hate brigade.

Tracy: Well, did it ever occur to you, if you'd been a better son, he might have been a better father?

Cameron says...



"Lucky is essentially recurring right now. I have to say, when I look at Greg Vaughn I don't see Lucky. I think that might have been a casting mistake. I love Greg but he needed to be someone else. Someone without the emotional, adventurous history of Lucky."

Lucky hasn't been emotional or adventurous since somewhere around 1999, and even that was more throwing tantrums and whining about his parents than genuine adventures.

Thanks for keeping me updated on this insanity. I have been tuned out for a fews weeks and will not be back until I know it's remotely safe to return.

I knew the hatchet job was coming for Robin and Patrick and took off running. I refuse to watch this horrible turn of events. I am hoping that this fall comes the announcement that I will be jumping for joy to hear, JT and KMc are leaving this crappy show.

Didn't see the episode, but Tracy really just sounded like an ignorant woman standing up for her ignorant man. I have never been able to figure out why she thinks she has such a "prize" with Luke. I pretty much ignore anything that comes out of Luke's mouth anyway.

I have a feeling the ratings are going to hit rock bottom this March. Next week your blog should be "really" popping. Thanks for watching for me (I can't take it anymore)!

Hey, Robin should just call Tracy and have her tell Patrick that if Emma wouldn't be such a rotten daughter to Robin, Robin would be a better mother.

WTF is wrong with the idiots who write this show? Next thing you know, they'll be saying it was Michael's fault he got shot. Oh, wait. They already did.

Eat a bag of ass, Bob Luza.

I think we should play a new game as long as Robin is not herself these days. This game is called.....drum roll please..... "WHERE'S EMMA AT NOW?" In the true spirit of "Where's Waldo?" we shall play this game until they put Robin in the new area of preference at 4151 Prospect Avenue called... "So, this is where the people whose character is now BAT-SHIT CRAZY for no apparent reason!" are now allowed to hang out at. Asswipes the lot of them.

I like the coat.

So I've finally had to give up GH b/c it just has gotten to the point where the hour is painstakingly god awful and could be spent doing a number of things more productive/enjoyable ie root canal LoL It is a crying shame b/c my whole family (starting with my grams) had watched this show and it used to be fabulous...As someone who's watched GH since she was a kid,Days(though long since has given days up), and OLTL...I have to say OLTL's writing these days far surpasses anything else right now...However I do still get a kick out of ur column and feel compelled to read it anyway :) Thank u for the laughs, keep them coming...I know it's a great sacrifice

Word. To all of it. If you can make me hate Tracy for even a milisecond, you are doing something insanely wrong. It should never happen.

You seem to forget that Jason is not merely a "deity of choice." Jason is "THE DEITY". There are no gods or goddesses or icons or idols above St. Jason of the Shiny Handgun. If Patrick were to discuss Robin with, say, his brother the doctor, or a mental health professional and family friend, that would be wrong. On all counts. But Jason? How else are you going to get the Divine Solution to your problem if you don't go to the Almighty himself?

Also, I thought I was the only person in the world who understood how to operate a 4-say stop; we should form a club.

there is only one thing left to say after watching that episode: FGUZA NEEDS TO GET FIRED ASAP!!!!

Let's clarify....the third or fourth comment saying something about Lucky being recurring was saying that Lucky is pretty much treated like a recurring character. Greg Vaughan has not been dropped to recurring.

I'm hanging on, watching scrubs via youtube because I gave up on the show weeks ago. Now their story line is getting worse. This ppd story is beyond insulting to people who have really suffered from it.



I think you are going through the very familiar GH stages of grief. Been there. I used to watch the show every day, then fast forward parts, then fast forward a lot, then read the tvguide recap to see if there was even a part that was worth watching, then just watching YouTube of Scrubs.

Not watching at all anymore.

If TPTB SORAS Cam to keep up with Michael & Kristina then I will have to officially quit GH for good.

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