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« Soap Blog Coalition | Main | This Show Has Hit The Motherlode »

March 26, 2009

Given the Opportunity, This Show Would Probably Kick Puppies

No, I'm not talking about American Idol, who put the blind kid in pink pants (PINK!) and let the oil rig guy do...whatever we're calling that to a Motown classic.  I'm really, genuinely bitter and worked up and filled with righteous indignation that is totally out of proportion with the circumstances even if they were happening to me and not random fictional characters.  So of course, I am talking about General Hospital.

Sometimes, when I am having a stressful day at work (most days that end in "-day" qualify), I get an email from Mallory that, much like the soaps we previously loved used to do, provides me with a few minutes of escape from the drudgery of the real world.  Such was the case yesterday when I received this gem:

Subject:   Question

Email:  Have you ever seen a baby more clearly saying "PLEASE HELP ME"?

EmmaHelpMe

Now, in fairness, I have seen a baby more desperately seeking an escape, because I have glanced at the faces of infants I've been holding.  But baby Emma comes close.  The poor, sweet, gorgeous, inexplicably Latina darling needs an escape from this horrendous "postpartum depression," Robin-and-Patrick's-marriage-is-in-trouble storyline.  Don't we all, Please Help Me Emma.  Don't we all.

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Mallory and I have never claimed to be unbiased when it comes to Patrick and Robin.  Jason Thompson is the kind of hot that only amazing genes, innate sexgodliness, and Canadian water can produce.  And Kimberly McCullough is adorable and super talented, and has endeared herself to at least two generations of GH viewers since she first appeared on this show (back before it was a godforsaken wasteland of former soapiness).  The two of them have such mad chemistry that even now, more than two years into their characters' run as a couple, one of the main sources of our blog's traffic is questions (some very earnest and posed as if a search engine is an actual person) about whether they are, as the kids say, hitting it in real life.  (I don't actually know if that's what the kids say, as I don't hang out with kids, because they are obsessed with Twilight and the Jonas Brothers, but I imagine it's something like that.)

So the actors I'm pretty over the moon for.  The characters, well, we've had a rockier history.  The only consistent thing about the writing for them has been its inconsistency, with the notable (and lamentably brief) exception of the second season of Night Shift.  More than once, I've had to officially put one or the other of them on notice.  (OMG, looking for those links I rediscovered that effing blog war and one of the Night Shift low points for Patrick and Robin's likability.  Sometimes it shocks even me how low this show chooses to routinely sink.  Why, I don't know, because how does something that happens every day manage to shock you, but whatever.  I think it's because I don't really pay that much attention.) 

Anyway, let's face it, when not tempered by a good relationship, Robin can tend towards the shrill harpy end of the Soap Opera Strong Woman Spectrum.  And Patrick, well, Patrick is kind of a dick, not to mention one-dimensional, when he's not wooing Robin.  So the characters generally benefit greatly from being together, especially because then the actors' chemistry can trump a lot of the truly awful writing in a way that it can't when the characters aren't supposed to be wanting to tear each other's clothes off.  I like them together, a lot.  That being said, I would not freak the hell out if they broke up, if it was well done; I understand that this is a soap and if couples don't have bumps in the road, they get boring.  But I admit to a degree of fangirliness that makes me want these two to the be the one couple of their generation that stays together (you know, how every soap seems to follow that unwritten rule?).

Setting aside fangirliness, do you even have to do anything more than barely tolerate these two (either actors or characters) to think that this postpartum depression is story is one of the worst things ever?  I was willing to admit that John and Marlena fans got screwed with their horrible exit from Days despite the fact that there were points in time at which I would have paid good money to facilitate their departure in general, so I assume even the Patrick/Robin haters can spot me this one, right?  Just in the name of decent soapiness, everyone should be staging protests over how awfully this show is handling what are supposed to be serious issues, and torpedoing a popular couple in the process.

I'm not going to attempt to chronicle all of the medical inaccuracies of what's happening with Robin, because 1) I don't know what they all are, 2) other people have already made admirable efforts to do so, and 3) eh, I find medical details kind of boring.  But I can sum up by saying that when you make me yearn for the Grey's Anatomy storyline earlier this season involving curing a disease by ingesting POOP, you have gone off the medical drama rails.

But on the topic of medical ridiculousness, now Robin has Lainey "helping" her, so obviously Robin is completely screwed.

LaineyReaxRobinLaineyReaxRobin2

Keep it up, Dr. Freud.  Thinly veiled contempt is the new compassion!

Lainey is actually the perfect choice for a therapist, because the writers don't want Robin's postpartum depression to be cured.  That wouldn't be "soapy"!  And Patrick would have no "justification" for cheating on her.  Because that's totally going to happen.  I'm unspoiled, but that's totally going to happen, right?  I think it's going to happen because I am not new, and I know all of this is a clumsy setup for interlopers.  Interlopers are the backbone of soaps.  And clearly these writers want to capitalize on Jason Thompson and Becky Herbst's awesome chemistry by throwing Patrick and Liz into a totally ill-advised relationship that these idiots who brought us Jason and Elizabeth's "romance" probably think would be delightfully swoon-worthy.

PatrickElizabeth

Jason Thompson and Becky Herbst have chemisty with everyone, so that really shouldn't drive all story decisions, or Patrick and Liz would have slept with everyone in town including their relatives.  And while I do actually think -- a long time down the road -- Patrick and Elizabeth are an interesting possibility (as a traditionally soapy bump obstacle to a Patrick and Robin reunion after a couple of years of non-adultery-related angst, for example, or an option if Robin leaves town), it is way too soon.

It's also too soon for Jason and Robin, whom I loved the first time around but who, again, would suffer from a rushed story and, oh yeah, the fact that Jason is now a longstanding unrepentant hitman and Robin is a mother. 

Side note:  Steve Burton's expressions lately continue to crack me up.

RobinJason 

Wait, what's "postpartum"?  I've posted bail lots of times.  Is that similar?

RobinJason2

Note to self:  For real, wikipedia what a partum is . . .

Because actors' chemistry aside, this couple didn't need interlopers until eons down the road, if at all.  Lest we forget -- and I'm sure the writers would like us to, since they apparently have -- Patrick and Robin have been married for THREE MONTHS.  That is a millisecond in soap time.  Or it should be.  The first relationship I ever saw develop on a soap was Steve and Kayla, and it took them over a year to get together.  It was sudsy perfection!

So why the rush?  Especially when unlike others, this couple has built-in drama.  The HIV stuff, the postpartum depression, Patrick the flirt trying to settle down, Robin the control freak trying to parent -- that could have driven story for a year or more.  Who taught these idiots how to pace a soap, and can we send them to some kind of reeducation program?  (I know such programs exist, because I've been following Katie Holmes' life for several years.)

Watching Patrick turn into some kind of 1950s male chauvinist, acting like taking care of his child and having patience with his sick wife are actions worthy of the medal of honor, while SybilRobin parties it up in Rochester and makes out with another guy (on a gross polyester motel comforter, THE HORROR), has made the last week or so of GH even more painful to watch than usual.  Patrick and Robin were pretty much the only established and popular couple in their age range on the entire canvas.  They were not what needed fixing -- and how many things can you say that about in Port Charles?  I would have even preferred them becoming a backburnered, boring married couple to this cluster.  Why are the people in charge of this show so determined to ruin everything that is remotely good about it?

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There is a little bit of good news.  Kimberly McCullough was fantastic in the scenes with Robin coming to terms with having a problem.  And although Patrick's hotly label is on hold, Jason Thompson's is intact.  He played hotly devastated when Patrick saw Robin kissing Brad.

PatrickSeesRobinBrad

And he remains hotly pained.

PatrickMatt

While we're on the topic of Brad (I know we weren't, really, but...well, it's my blog and I'll change the subject if I want to), can we talk about him?

Brad

And how he is HOT AS HELL?  I take nothing away from Jason Thompson or his obvious status as Hotly titleholder, but damn, Brad . . . Brad could get it.

That this actor (and even character) were wasted on this POS story, and that I have to deal with Ethan every day but Brad is gone, are tragedies on par with at least some small-scale wars.

Divider

Finally, because I need to stop thinking about this storyline or I am going to end up spending my lunchhour tripping random passers-by on the sidewalk:  Please, someone stop me from taking that final step off the ledge.  I know that the writing isn't going to get better and I will probably end up hating these characters I previously looked forward to watching, but I can probably deal with that because that's pretty much what I've been doing with General Hospital for at least a half-decade.  But some kind staffer in the wardrobe department must do the right thing with an errant cigarette and

RobinUglyShirt

TORCH THAT FUCKING SHIRT.  If not, I can't promise not to lose my mind entirely.  In a most medically inaccurate way.

Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason.

Comments

Actually Robin is just Lucky in 2006. She's got a real issue that certain writers on this staff has done nothing to research or give a crap about. The reaction of making this a "justification" for Patrick's emotional cheating is Lucky's addiction was the justification for Liz to talk to anyone in town about her husband but her husband. The ridiculous short time between wedding ceremony and shyte hitting the fan. (Lucky was almost killed on the way to his honeymoon...which started the dumb money storyline again..which lead to the drug stuff and stop me before I depress myself further) Patrick is being painted as a saint of patience and not an ass. It's even the same interloopers angle. Patrick was all up in the early drug stuff.....even purposely doing stuff to annoy Lucky. I really don't want to go back to the Jason angle so I'll just stop now.

Scrubs fans...the LL2 fans feel your pain....we give you a hug in the welcome to the crapped on for reasons of being legacy neighborhood.

what is total crap is they are defending this as accurate...just SLIGHTLY exaggerated for TV. (Kimberly does it in the new SOW.) and the fact Guza bragged about consulting experts on PPD to make sure this storyline was told accurately and with sensitivity. And the fact I just think they dismiss the negatvie buzz around this story as the result of internet crazies with nothing better to do.

But yes Brad...he could hit it. I might not even object to the newbie treatment of on every single day if it was him......I mean hot...speaks English normally..hot...doesnt' seem to be a hitman or a career criminal....totally stands to reason we're never going to see him again.

I HATE this PPD story. It is so badly done and at this rate it will never end. Both Robin and Patrick, Patrick in particular comes off looking like horrible people.I wonder if Frons isn't going to put a stop to this dreck sooner than later.

I swear, if Patrick diddles Liz, I'm over Robin and Patrick as a couple. I will never accept Robin taking him back. I don't care that this is a soap. They have been married for 3 freaking months! If Patrick can't keep his pants on now, he never will. This is the kind of thing that breaks soap audience's love for characters and loses viewers.

I'll be rooting for Hot Brad and Robin or for Jason to leave the mob and hook up with Robin.

I can't believe how Guza is so determined to ruin the only good couple on GH.

I have watched this show for 30 years. I adore Kimberly McCullogh and the character of Robin Scorpio Drake. I think that Kim and Jason Thompson have such chemistry. Night Shift II was excellent their chemistry was off the charts. I had hoped that they would become the one soap couple that stayed together. This storyline has dragged out too long. We didn't even get the pleasure of a honeymoon or a few weeks of martial bliss before the crap hit the fan. I hope that the writers and TPTB realize what a treasure they have in Kim and Jason and their characters Robin and Patrick and keep them as the one couple who stays together through thick and thin.

Would it be so awful for the Scorpio Drakes to be happy for a millisecond before their marriage implodes? A honeymoon would have been wonderful. Shirtless Patrick..frisky Robin. Lots of kissing and maybe a little sex. Is that asking so much? This storyline is making me very sad. I have enough to worry about in real life without getting upset about these fictional characters. There is no payoff here, nothing to remind me of their supposed love for each other.

On the good side, Robin left the hospital without that awful plaid coat when she remembered she had left Emma at Kelly's. So I think it may be gone forever.

Seriously, Brad IS hot as HELL. God, I hope he shows up again. I miss that face. And he was completely normal, down to earth, kind, charming, a little clumsy.. lol.

total agreedness. Altho im not a big scrubs fan, I hate the fact that they barely got married and he's already emotionally cheating on her. It's disgusting. Can no one have more than 10 minutes of happiness on this show??

This show really depresses me ... I watch TV to forget my problems, not to become depressed. They need to have a quota of like 10 minutes where at least SOME character is allowed to be delririously happy. Maxie is the only happy person on that show ... and only coz she's a happy person, not because the writers let her character be happy. I want happy .. happy ... happy ... why couldn't Scrubs argue over what couch to buy. I'd rather watch that than this BS

I don't watch GA anymore. So I missed the POOP as medicine story line, and I thought chemo was bad, silly me.

But that describes watching GH. Its like eating POOP. Today's episode was so offensive and chocked full of revisionist history I actually broke my remote control as I threw it across the room in rage. No joke. Patrick going to Carly for psychiatric advice? He's a MD and she is a three time psycho held in mental hospitals who also hates his wife and thinks she is shit. Carly is guilty of everything she accuses Robin of and not the other way around damnit. Carly blames Robin for everything that went wrong in her life. What a crock of shit! The way LW described her alleged PPD after Michael was born was total lies and rewritten history. And that Patrick didn't flinch let alone care that Carly shot Tony? FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!! And she never got help for her so called PPD. She vacationed in Florida and came back months later to fake PPD to keep herself close to Jason even though he was with Robin. Cottage Hell and Ferncliff anyone at Prospect????

I hate this show. Today may be my last day of eating the POOP GH serves up. I may have FINALLY had my fill of their shit.

Patrick has become a stupid hurtful judgmental tool. He has gone against everything he said to Robin since getting back together with her. He thinks the mob and Jason and Sonny etc... are too dangerous to be around now especially with Emma and yet Sonny is one of his babysitters, then Liz who drools after Jason and nearly gets her own MIA kids killed, then Carly? Are you fucking insane Patrick? WHat happened to staying away from these people? That lasted about a week.

And his love and loyalty to Robin and for Robin and that speech he made to Robert at the wedding? All BS. And if he keeps going to Jake's every time his panties are in a bunch he can join Noah in AA. Nice behavior for the Son of an alcoholic and a MD.They ruined RObin with PPD PLEAE ruin Patty some more by making him an alcoholic.

GH better lay off the medical plot points. They can't even bother to google some research let alone pay an advisor for accuracy. Is Rebecca's breast cancer scare gonna make her magically Emily? Like Robin's PPD made her a cheating bitch with a new identity. That's how insane this show has become.

Fork down, I have had my fill of POOP.

Thanks for this blog Becca and Mallory. You two are the best of daytime.

Another bit that infuriated me today that I have to get off my chest.

Mercedes as the Nanny for Emma? Seriously? This seems like a good safe choice exactly how Patrick? Her sister, the original, Leticia, died, no was MURDERED by a revenge filled mobster's Son in Carly's home for crying out loud. She was the PRIMARY caregiver for Michael and Morgan their whole lives and she was killed for that. So sure, bring her replacement in to help care for Emma. And not only that once forbidden mob tie in Mercedes favor, but you just let Carly send her over and right into Emma's room without doing any background checks or an interview or hey.... DISCUSSING IT WITH THE BABY'S MOTHER AKA YOUR WIFE!!!???!!!???

Sorry, I'm still pissed off and posting again.

But sexy intelligent kind hunky but real Brad is a day player while Winnie and Ethan are on contract? How in the world is this possible? Even in Guzaland this makes NO sense.

UCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, the only plausible aspect of Robin AND Patrick not immediately going to their psychiatrist friend for help and advice is...well, that friend is Lainey and no good can come of that, ever.

And I think Kimberly McCullough must have hurt someone in the wardrobe department, possibly unintentionally, because saddling her with that top and her plaid coat repeatedly is just mean.

Re: "inexplicably Latina" baby - Kimberly Mc is a Latina, and/or has at least one Latina/Latino/Hispanic (I am never sure what term applies at one time) parent. So that would explain the baby.

Mmmm....Brad. Yum.

I would be all for Brad ending up in PC, finding out about Robin's whole real life and deciding to be just friends with her and then falling for Liz. Kind of a different take on the Jax initially wanting Lois then falling for her friend Brenda for real story. Because Liz needs to get out of her Lucky/Jason lather, rinse, repeat circle for a while. And Brad? Is hot.

I stopped watching GH during the big medical crisis (mob gathering at the hospital). As much as I adore Robin and Patrick and cannot bring myself to watch this show again right now.

Nothing but pure "hate" will come from a Robin/Patrick/Liz storyline. This for a couple that the magazines were calling golden and receiving raving reviews last year. The characters of Patrick and Liz will pretty much be destroyed and I hope GH receive a backlash far worst than any other they have received. Patrick would be one of the biggest hypocrites due to his condemning of Noah being unfaithful to his mother and all that "hot air" he told Robert at the wedding. JT is a good actor, but he will have to be the best to bring some credibility to Patrick again.

Somebody at ABC needs to get a backbone and clean house at GH. Thanks ladies for keeping me updated with this insanity.

I miss Brad already. Damn he was HOT!!

Brad was hot. It's so unfair, getting rid of Brad and putting Greg Vaughn on recurring, but keeping Ethan? If the writing on the show is going to suck so hard, they should at least give us some pretty to look at.

Also BOTH Robin and Patrick are in need of serious therapy.

Well, I'm too full of rage over what the writing team is doing to Scrubs to come up with anything witty or even remotely, well, not full of the swear words.

So I'll nitpick instead. It doesn't cure the rage but makes me feel better in the way if feels good to sling a snarky barb at someone you hate when you are feeling like shit yourself.

Except Spike took my comment about Kim's mom being Mexican, which would make it totally plausible that someone who looks like her (even though Robin herself isn't meant to be Latina) could have a baby who looks like Emma.

So my one last shot. Totally my opinion. What the heck, people? What about Brad appeals to you? He might be nice, but other than that, what? Ethan is WAY hotter. Yes, that is setting aside the fact that Ethan is yet another law-breaker and plays with his hair more than Kirsten Storms appears to play with her toothbrush these days, and yes, that discounts that Brad seems to be nice, though not so good with his hands. But come on. The guy might as well be Joe the Plumber. It might be that I live in the Midwest, but half the guys in my town look like Brad. Okay, most of them have a bit (or more) of a beer gut, but you get my drift.

And if Ethan, the umpteenth criminal in Port Charles, wins out over Brad in my Book of Hot, you can imagine how Brad stacks up against Dr. Hottie. Could we get a side-by-side comparison please? Brad who?

The sheer descriptive brillance of the title alone sent me into convulsions of laughter that hindered me from reading the rest of it for more than a few minutes. You had me at "hello." I see GH as a love letter written by Guza, professing his black-hearted and undying love for Sonny, and professing his illogical hatred of GH fans and potential viewers. With the precedent set by the fido theme, I liken Guza to Cruella De Vil, and can visualize him going door to door and grabbing puppies, for the express purpose of kicking the lot of them down the sidewalk and then turning them into a one of a kind coat, that would be worn for 2 minutes and then thrown in the trash.

I wonder though, why some of you continue to watch this trash. I quit watching long ago, due to the I-hate-injesting-garbage facor. I was faithful 79-92 and then to NS2 due to the I-love-great-storylines-and-acting factor. Maybe letting the show fall completly in the toilet will take Guza out of the mix. ...fingers remain crossed until then.

Is the PPD s/l medically accurate? I honestly don't know. I've heard some people say yes and others say no. However, I do know enough about depression to know that no two cases are exactly alike.

However, I wouldn't be so bothered by medical inaccuracies if there weren't so many "soapy" plot twists thrown into the storyline. TPTB are asking viewers to accept too much ABSURDITY. Fine, Robin and Patrick are in denial and for the sake of soapy drama I can accept that, but then you throw in Robin getting lost and putting her baby in a tree, Patrick running around town telling everyone about his problems except for a trained professional, Patrick spouting off about family units as if he's living in 1953. Robin forgetting her baby at the diner, Robin's making up an alias and making out with some random stranger, the overly helpful female neighbor/co-worker, Patrick thinking his wife slept with random stranger, Patrick/Robin keeping secrets, Patrick asking advise from Robin's worst enemy...The list could go on and on, but the bottom line is that all these "soap insertions" are messing up a s/l that had a lot of potential! It's a shame because Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson are doing a hell of a job with the material they've received, but it's being overshadowed by all the nonsense.

And I only hope that TPTB have the decency/commonsense to give the audience an actual payoff after putting us through this hell unlike what they did with liason, lucky/sam and so many other s/ls. By that I mean, giving us a real recovery period where both Robin and Patrick get professional help, they deal with their issues and come out on the other side a stronger couple.

Keep Brad, pair him with Liz and dump Ethan, Lulu and Claudia!

JL, I like that idea a lot!

To those who have mentioned it, I understand that Kimberly has some Hispanic heritage. However, Robin does not. And neither Jason Thompson nor Patrick do. That baby is ridiculously gorgeous, but to me it's a little distracting that she doesn't look like Patrick kid, in particular, when he's holding her.

Of course, I'm only focusing on something so small to avoid the much bigger issue, which is of course that this show is killing every good thing about Patrick and Robin and possibly also in the world in general.

There are two things you simply have not accepted about this show. First, character based stories aren't allowed on GH. Dealing with Patrick's ability to settle down, Robin's control freak nature - these are character components that are clearly NOT to be used to develop story. No, she has to DEVELOP PPD, which will cause Patrick to look elsewhere. Just be thankful they aren't part of the mob story - Robin's PPD would be a shooting or a kidnapping or an explosion.

Second, GH doesn't do long term story and build-up. Once upon a time, writers would know where they were going with a story (1996 the last time we really saw that - oh, and Night Shift 2). As such, they could lay the bricks and build from there, actually allowing time for research and substance to their stories. These days, it really seems as if stories are conjured up on the fly - "okay, they're married, they have a baby ... now ... baby disappears? No. Robin gets amnesia? No. Robin starts a blog about the baby? No - wait ... PPD. Okay, get this story on the air next week - forget looking it up. No one watching will know the details anyway." And if we are lucky (unlucky) they will actually finish the story in some way without changing complete direction in the middle because they've had another spur of the moment idea.

I have to admit I just decided to check your blog to get updated as to what is going on. After 2 decades of watching this show I am OUT!!! Last draw was how they have slapped every single fan in the face with this PPD storyline. As soon as it started back in November I thought,"No way, they can't possibly be setting this up?" I knew exactly what would happen. The writers figured the only way anyone would accept Scrubs breaking up would be to have Robin be the bad guy. How do you make her the bad guy? Give her a real serious illness that countless women experience and have that be the reason she "rightfully" loses her marriage. Way to go writers! It ranks right up there with Emily deserving to lose he marriage to Nikolas because she got raped!! The writers could have gone a hundred other directions with this, but instead we are supposed to accept Liz swooping in to take her place in Patrick and Emma's lives as their savior. Typical soapy storyline or not-I am now using that blessed 3:00-4:00 hour of my day tidying up my house which has become a lot more organized since I stopped watching this effing show.

I still don't see Patrick's error in any of this. The man was not asking his wife to stay home and take care of their baby while he did nothing. He has been taking care of Emma since she was born. Give up the 1950s argument. It does not work. It is interesting that Patrick is bashed for faults that aren't there, but Robin continues to elude any direct, specific criticism for CHEATING on her HUSBAND and for leaving her HUSBAND and her CHILD.

Brad is hot? Really? He looks rather ordinary and has such a round face. I wasn't impressed at all.

What has pushed me over the edge is Robin talking to Jason and Patrick talking to Sonny. I hate Jason and Sonny with the fire of a thousand suns and unfortunately that hatred exceeds even my totally fangirliness of Scrubs fandom. I will not, will not, will not watch Jason and Sonny have a role in this relationship.

That's it. I'm done with GH.

Speaking for myself, I have decided to ignore Robin's cheating. It isn't a symptom of PPD and was only done so Patrick could get a free pass for cheating on Robin. It was like when Lucky became an addict and was sleeping with Maxie and Sam was with Rick, hiring thugs and allowing Jake to be kidnapped all so that Liz and Jason could hook up. As far as I'm concerned all Lucky and Sam's actions during that time don't count and I refuse to even acknowledge that they happened.

My new obsession with Brad can only be matched by my undying devotion to Scruffy!Cop on Days of Our Lives.

*sigh* Oh, S!C, how I pine for you...

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