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« Our Latest Soap Opera Digest Column | Main | Another One Bites the Dust »

April 01, 2009

I Need You Guys to Keep Me Apprised of Things Like This

One Life to Live viewers, we need to talk.  Last year, Mallory and I did not completely lose our minds and start indiscriminately swearing or punching passers-by when it seemed like every third comment on our predictably whiny and bitchy GH posts was some variation on "Hey dumbasses, you should watch OLTL instead!"  We heard about how Ron Carlivati hung the moon and slid down a rainbow, how the show was the best thing to happen to soaps since chest waxing, and how OLTL's ratings were clearly the result of viewers shunning goodness and light.  Throughout all that, we mocked you...hardly at all!  And yet now, when I needed you to be there for me in return, you failed me.

You are, in case you were not aware, contractually required as our loyal readers to notify me when something as significant as this occurs:


Scott Clifton got super hot!  He is almost, dare I say, looking a bit Ryan Reynolds-esque.  Not one of you people could have dropped me an email?  A screencap would have sufficed; I don't require that everything be accompanied by unnecessary editorializing.

For real, thumbs up to Scott, because he looks fantastic.  Not that I didn't before, because I am not just about shallow things (zip it!), but now I really want him to come back to General Hospital.  No wait, that wasn't an insult!  I would love to see him and Kirsten Storms work together again, except this time instead of hating his hair, Maxie can fall for her dead sister's ex-husband.  Soapy!

But back to OLTL for a sec: The sisterly duo of Stacy and Gigi?  Mother of deity-of-your-choice, make the lambs stop screaming.  Why did none of you bitches tell me about that horror show either?!  I swear, I cannot rely on you for anything.

(This seems like the appropriate time to mention that for our next Soap Opera Digest column, Mallory and I each watched two new-to-us soaps for a week.  Mallory's critique of Guiding Light isn't even on the stands yet and the damned show is already practically canceled.  Wait to go, Mal.  Jeez.)


Oops. Sorry about that. Our bad. I watch OLTL occasionally. It's been pretty depressing, and I hate Gigi/Stacy almost as much as I hate Winnifred. But GH has become so unwatchable that I've officially broken up with it. So One Life is my only soap at the moment. Unfortunately, I think Frons has realized that it's the only decent one left on ABC and has decided to devote his full attention to it because I can definitely see his work. See Gigi/Rex/Stacy. As long as Dorian is Dorian and David Vickers shows up every once in awhile, then I'll probably stick around.

"Sorry, guys, I think I must have caught a bad week (last week) of OLTL. I wasn't very impressed. "

OLTL is up and down. It's not that great right now, but at least you didn't have to see the "Tarty" story. Turning gang rape into a love story!

Just make sure you really, really like whiny teenagers.

Bite your tongue you want him on GH. I demand an apology some sort of ritual to prevent any sort of jinxing of Scott Clifton to come back. You know when he does it's going to be because Monica got shot by a bullet meant for Jason.

The Gigi/Rex/Stacy mess does seem to be on every stinking day. I think yesterday was the first time in a couple of weeks we were spared them. Unfortunately, they REEK of Frons Intervention and that's never a good thing.

I think the problem right now is that there is a lot going on that reeks of Frons Intervention. You can see glimmers of promise but it's getting buried underneath "Sexy Blond Stripper Who is a Troublemaker!" "Marriage of Convenience to Add Angst to Angsty Not-Actually-A-Couple!" "Teen Girl Wants Her Teacher -- It's Hot!" "Serial Killer On the Prowl! More for John McBain to Do!"

There are good things about most of those stories (the only good thing about the Morasco Fiasco is that it gave us some shirtless Brody but they're also willing to make him shirtless outside of the Morasco Fiasco so that's not a selling point) but they are bogged down.

Although, Ron lost a lot of his shine with me for going through with the Rapemance in the first place so I have a distinct jaundiced eye these days. Still, you can smell a Frons plot a mile away.

But, yeah, Scott Clifton is quite hot these days. And ridonkulously charismatic as well.

you see a lotta MR J in this clip from Fridays episode!


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