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« It's A Guza-Ful Life | Main | Things That Are Not Okay in Salem (Hint: "Everything") »

March 01, 2009

It Ain't Me, Babe. It's You.

The pain I feel while watching All My Children usually doesn't start in earnest until the show goes to its first commercial, but I barely made it twenty seconds into Friday's episode before my head started to throb.

Krystal: Too much, huh? What's your going rate? You were incredible tonight. Babe would have been proud. I know I was.

I am so sick of hearing about Babe that I can't even come up with a witty metaphor to describe it. She died in freaking October, which is almost a decade in soap time, but her memory has not faded from the show yet, and how can it, when she is mentioned every thirty seconds?

I am sick of hearing about how she shimmered, I am sick of hearing about how she made the world a better place, I am sick of hearing about how it's an insult to her memory that Amanda is sleeping with JR as if there's a more fitting memorial to Babe than sleeping with multiple men. I am sick of the revisionist history claiming that she was this amazing angel who always thought of others when the words "bigamist", "liar", "babynapper", "adulteress", "smug", "tramp" and "waste of space and screentime" come to mind.

It's getting to the point that when I hear people use "babe" as a term of endearment, I do a full-body shudder. It took me a while to realize the other day that Jesse was referring to Angie, an actual babe, as "babe" and was not having a random soliloquy to Babe's memory, and then I started to wonder how long until that random Jesse soliloquy actually happens.

But, I wondered, maybe I'mnot being fair to AMC. Maybe it's just thefact that I hated Babe with a passion usually reserved for short, unrepentant criminals that is making me feel like this show is All Babe, All The Time.

So I decided to take my thorough research skills and investigate how many times Babe has been mentioned since January 1st of this year. I am fully aware that I am opening myself up to criticism for being a nerd and having nothing better to do, but I wanted to be sure that my hatred of this show was completely justified!

(I also needed something to do while I caught up on Law and Order besides doodling I <3 Cutter on my Trapper Keeper)

With credit to TVMegasite's AMC Transcripts, here is a tally of the Babe mentions this year, months after the tornado shuffled her skanky ass off of the mortal coil.

  • February 27th: 13
  • February 26th: 10
  • February 25th: 10
  • February 24th: 10
  • February 23rd: 7
  • February 20th: 3
  • February 19th: 0
  • February 18th: 0
  • February 17th: 11
  • February 16th: 1
  • February 13th: 0
  • February 12th: 0
  • February 11th: 1
  • February 10th: 2
  • February 9th: 1
  • February 6th: 2
  • February 5th: 4
  • February 4th: 1
  • February 3rd: 2
  • February 2nd: 3
  • January 30th: 1
  • January 29th: 2
  • January 28th: 8
  • January 27th: 5
  • January 26th: 1
  • January 23rd: 1
  • January 22nd: 4
  • January 21st: 2
  • January 20th: No AMC due to the Inauguration
  • January 19th: 2
  • January 16th: 8
  • January 15th: 5
  • January 14th: 0
  • January 13th: 3
  • January 12th: 8
  • January 9th: 5
  • January 8th: 7
  • January 7th: 5
  • January 6th: 8
  • January 5th: 3
  • January 2nd: 0

For a grand total of 159 Babe mentions since in 2009, months after she died! WTF? I don't think Julia got mentioned 159 times on her whole tenure on the show...


Ok, seriously though, I hate Babe as much as any person. What I don't get is that people aren't as upset over Myrtle dying. MYRTLE!!!! She ruled beyond all reason. And Babe gets non-stop accolades? Myrtle hasn't been mentioned since the funeral. At least Mona Kane gets a mention every few months. Babe is who AMC chooses to deify? Whatevs. This show sucks beyond all comprehension.

I too, shudder at the mere mention of the word "babe." This is similar to not being able to hear the word "sweetie" being used as a term of endearment without thinking of the irritating rash that is Reese, or not being able to even look at my favorite candy any more because of the same person.

I still can not believe how AMC can continue to prop this character even after she's dead. 159 times since the beginning of the year? WTF?

In many ways, Babe has been replaced by Reese - they have both done despicable things to many, especially Bianca, and she has forgiven or will forgive them both.

I wonder how many times we'll hear the name of Reese uttered once Binks has come back to drag her skanky ass back to Paris. Maybe we'll get lucky and hear both their names spoken in the same breath.

Be still my heart...

Another great column, Mallory.

I never dreamed Babe could be more annoying dead than she was alive. (And Zach's only redeeming quality nowadays is that he is the only one that seems to remember Myrtle at all, which is wacky because he only knew her 2 minutes compared to every other resident of PV except Reese.)

Holy crap. That is totally ridiculous. Even Myrtle doesn't need *that* many mentions in 2 months. No character does if you really think about it.

i am sick of her too and i wanted to puke when jr watched that tape of her on the runway and went on how beautiful she looked. blech. i think that babe will be mentioned for a long whileb/c david is trying to get he son from jr so unfortunately we will hear a lot more of her.

It's disgusting. Whether it's Babe on AMC or the mobsters and their whores/bitches/saints/heroines/proppers/wives ( or what ever Sonny calls them today ) on GH it infuriates me how the most despicable characters on ABC Daytime are worshipped as the best people and moral leaders who we all should admire.

Soon Pine Valley Park will erect a statue of Babe that even pigeons won't shit on. Reese will be named Lesbian of the Year. And Sonny and Jason will get a private lounge/office at the PCPD to do business yanking Mac and the Feds chains while continuing to import "coffee". And Patrick will give Emma to Carly and Jax since they are superior human beings to him and Robin. I WISH I WAS KIDDING! But seriously, how close to this utter insanity are TIIC of GH & AMC?

At least on OLTL there is some outrage against those who commit evil and or criminal acts. Nobody runs around Llanview proclaiming Todd a good man, well maybe Blair that comes and goes. His crimes are known and hated, even if he gets away with them on many levels with annoying regularity. When Asa crossed the line his sons fought him on it and even on occasion turned him in right? Dorian even gets a dose of reality from time to time when she is all manipulative and deceitful. Tess killed her baby or at least neglected her to death and soon Jess will learn what her need for vengeance unleashed. There are consequences on this show and they last. It's not like Guza and all will just be forgotten or rewritten, history and reality exist here.

There must be viewers who like this Babe worship, Reese, and the suckage that is GH. Otherwise Guza and Pratt would be making huge changes or even lose their jobs right? The ratings suffer and the advertisers pull out more and more, yet these two shows only get more offensive and bizzarre in response. I do not understand. Who finds this shit entertaining? Why do women/fans swoon for Sonny?

I wish there was a real way to get a true census of all AMC/GH viewers. To find out what percentage actually like and enjoy the shows now VS. what percentage of viewers that keep watching hoping their beloved soaps of old return or just for that rare three minutes a week that vaguely resemble what was once great entertainment. I fear most of us are in the latter and that category is the minority.

I just don't understand.

Yay, another Linus Roache fan! I still enjoy seeing Priest every so often, at least for the not-so-holy scenes with his boyfriend.

It's a good thing they're not mentioning Myrtle, it would just be, "Oh, Myrtle would have loved Reese", "Oh, Myrtle would have told Kendall to walk into the ocean if Zach did not accept her eternal forgiveness."

Have Josh or Greenlee had any services yet?

OMG! A Mike Cutter shout-out! I haven't been this interested in Law & Order since the departure of my beloved Lennie Briscoe. And I thought I would hate losing Jack McCoy (and his eyebrows!) in the courtroom so much I would resent the new ADA. I can admit when I'm wrong (*cough*GuzaPratt*cough*). Linus Roache = Dreamy.

On topic, I thought Dead!Babe would be the solution to all my problems. Silly me.

Frankly I'm sick of this so-called show period!! And with the upcoming spoilers I know I'll be tuning out for at least a while. But you're so right about Babe, altho' I gotta tell ya that's the least of my worries. There's so much wrong with this crapfest that how do you know where to start? They're decimating everything we know & expecting us to fanwank it.

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