You'd think that a show which provides so many improbable, poorly written plots would be fascinating to watch, in the train wreck sort of way. You would be wrong because General Hospital, home to a number of ludicrous plots that exceeds the population of some small nations, is sooooo boring.
Don't get me wrong; I still have a quasi-hysterical outraged reaction to something at least once per scene, but the scenes are endless. And the show goes on for so long. When Sonny started to lecture Olivia about the evils of mail tampering, I violently rolled my eyes (a la Paul Rudd in Wet Hot American Summer) and caught a glimpse of the clock and saw that it was 3:03 and then the theme started playing. It felt like the show should have been half over!
How about those scintillating Sonny and Olivia scenes, and the reminder that Olivia has a secret?!
Sonny: We all have secrets, even Jax. Even you.
Olivia: I'll never tell.
Subtle! I can't wait for all of the similarly clever anvils we will get during the months (or, god forbid, years) that the Dante secret stays hidden.
Carly and Jax renewing their vows was sweet and I am all for pretty people being married and being pretty
...but I am so over these two and their cycle of being happy before some contrived plot point comes their way and they implode, causing Jax to leave town and then come back to be happy again.
[Here is the part where I'd normally talk about Spinelli and Winifred and how awful Winifred is and how their lame storyline and steadfast refusal to speak actual human English irritates me in such a way that all I can do is screech, literally, like a CRAZY PERSON, but even remembering the lame awfulness is giving me agita, so in the interest of sparing my blood pressure a massive spike, I am going to move on]