Pardon Me While I Dry Heave...

If The Young and the Restless HAD to make Ashley pregnant with Victor's child

(and I sincerely doubt that they HAD to, because the last thing most people think of when they hear about a "fortyish" woman and a one hundred-year-old man is "Baby story! That's the ticket!", especially when you consider that the centenarian in question is Victor, because ew.)

(And also, Genoa City is almost entirely populated by Victor spawn, why on earth does he need another child roaming around? I am never again mocking General Hospital for making Sonny the father of a dozen children)

(Really, is there anything in the world more discomfiting than pondering Victor having sex and fathering a child? I'm sorry for harping on that image and grossing all of you out, but I haven't fully recovered from the last time Victor got someone pregnant and I had to share my PTSD with you)

But anyway, if they HAD to, I wish that they had at least tried to make the dialogue regarding this...um...blessed event less GUT-CHURNINGLY OMG GROSS*.

 

Ashley: Um... you're right. I did make you a gift. Well, actually, um... we kinda made it together.

Victor: Wait a minute. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

Ashley: We're pregnant.

"We kinda made it together"?!?

Victor: She has given me the most wonderful gift of all... this is not something I'm gonna keep a secret. My beautiful Ashley is pregnant.

I'll let Victoria's hilarious expression of speechless grossed-outedness speak for me:

  It's just kicking the audience when we are already down and disturbed, you know?

*Gut churningly gross is also a good way to describe Eileen Davidson's hair. How can a basic ponytail look so wrong?

Comments

[LB]

Did no one give Victor the protection speech when he was a teenager way back in the 1920s?

[Simone]

Ashley having Victor's child is gross. I rooting for a miscarriage. He will be

[Carl]

The excessively misogynist writing which stinks up Y&R, along with their "Victor can do no wrong" fetish, are the two reasons I think the show is so bad now. How nice to see them joined together in this mess.

Eileen Davidson must make a Kristen Dimera face every time she sees her scripts. Ashley is even more pathetic than she was in her sperm-stealing days.

[Sarah]

"Well. ummm, actually...we Kinda made it together..."

"You know, unlike last time we spawned when I needed a baby so bad from your magnificent loins I stole your sperm and waited years to tell you about it because let's face it, Brad even on his worst day was 100 times the man & father you could ever be you ugly pompous evil moody fucker."

"But... I am so happy your swimmers aren't all dead yet. Cool huh? ALL of you other middle aged kids will love this not to mention Jack."

"And when this baby is born and reaches age 22 we can get back together for the 42nd time and finally take a family portrait as long as your feeble moustached body can sit up long enough by then."

With GH and AMC far beyond the point of repair I was really depending on Y&R not to suck toxic balls daily. I'm getting really nervous!

[Jennyp]

On the positive side, this child, unlike Abby, was conceived without committing a felony. Unless the twist is that Ashley stole BRAD'S sperm this time, (ala Ugly Betty) and it's an elaborate Gotcha! on Victor. Which would be funny.

[kate]

hear, hear on the ponytail. I don't care how 40ish she is, she needs to trim that there mop up!

[BOTR]

The "we're pregnant" makes me gag more than anything. It's too cutesy for my liking.

I guess it's safe to say that this baby is going to live since Victor already lost a child just last year. [I bet that it'll be another Newman heir.]

[Lisa]

You might be onto something, JennyP. Have they ever had Victor suffer the humiliation of being cuckolded?

This would. SO. ROCK.

Please, please, please. Brad's, Adam's, the janitor's, I don't care. I just want to see Victor's mustache explode right off.

[BarbE]

I think it's all in Ashley's mind. She had this odd look the other day when she saw Victor & Nikki talking. I think she's going into one of her mental situations spurred on by her nikki/Victor insecurity. Cause, come on, everybody in soap or tv viewing land know that Nikki & Victor will get back together.

[Margie]

Thanks Mallory for saying exactly what I was thinking. I was enjoying Y&R alot until this episode. All I can say is ew, that is gross! Victor is too old!!!

[LogopolisMike]

I hope Victor doesn't drive her away and then she gets an abortion that drives her crazy again. Because it's not like if a man did that to you in real life, you might consider that each and every time you got back together with him.

[Sarah]

Some wishful thinking..... maybe her lack of a period is not a pregnancy but the beginning of menopause?!?!?!

How hilarious would it be if the Ancient Moustache dumped her this time because she was going through the change and he only wants to sire more heirs.

He's like the Octomom! EWWWWWWWWWW :-0

[Barb]

Oh please let it be menopause. Just the thought of that old woman being pregnant is awful.

[Sherry]

Your entire writing staff is totally out of touch with reality. How long are you going to let Cane be so remorseful of a grandmother that he just met. Billy is right. Enough is enough!

[Goddess]

I LOVE the Victor's offspring story lines each and every time. Because with each one you can see optimism spring anew within Victor, as if he's thinking, 'THIS TIME, I will NOT have a f#@* up for a kid! THIS TIME!' Four years later, he and the kid aren't even on speaking terms. I LOVE IT!!!