The Icing On The Cake
On our ongoing list of Things General Hospital Ruins Without Even Trying, we can now add cake.
Damn it, GH! Why must you use chocolate cake for evil?! Although maybe cake is the Emily Post-approved gift of choice for thanking a hitman for doing his best to protect you from evil law enforcement agents after you broke the law multiple times...
The use of quotation marks cracks me up, though. As if Cook at the Quartermaine mansion was like "I refuse to say Stone Cold Rocks as if it were a factual statement, so I am just going to quote this obviously misguided sentiment". It would have only been more amusing if it had been Stone Cold "Rocks".
There were many wrong, baffling aspects to the toxic balls non-sweeps, non-event, but most wrong of all is that we are apparently stuck treading water until real sweeps happens later this month. Is anything ever going to happen on this show again? Or are we going to be subjected to repeated conversations endlessly while the writers kill time thinking of new and exciting ways to off Quartermaines during sweeps and finding out what post-partum depression actually is?
Well, to be fair, actually, something did happen on this show and it is something that has not happened in a long time: I was delighted by something Sonny Corinthos related. I KNOW, RIGHT? Shocking!
Tell me this is not the most hilarious juxtaposition of facial expressions in the history of ever:
Claudia is disturbingly thrilled with the fact that she boned Sonny, joining the illustrious ranks of...ninety percent of the female population of Port Charles. And Sonny has the most amazing "I think I've made a huge mistake" look on his face.
I'm sorry, I LOLed.
I am just desperate for any kind of entertainment in a sea of boring. Like, such as:
- Sonny and Claudia's marriage
- Endless discussions from all sorts of random characters about Sonny and Claudia's marriage. I know that Robin and Sonny are friends, and I know that everybody in town hates Claudia, but it was still weird.
- Sonny burdening a poor baby with talk about his marriage to Claudia
The child was justin a treenot a few weeks ago! Why are you adding to her PTSD? And what's with the baby combover?
- Endless praise of Jason, which has been stale since, oh...1998
- Endless praise of Spinelli. Really, Maxie? Spinelli uses the best words like poignant? Although I am having a hard time believing that a girl who wears her hair like this is a good judge of character
That's how I wear my hair when I am washing my face! A ginormous, side, frizzy bun...thing is not meant for the public eye!
- Nikolas being a sad panda about Emily and obsessing over her look-alike as if look-alikes in this town aren't a dime a dozen (Exhibit A: NIKOLAS AND CONNOR)
- Natalia Livingston trying, bless her heart, really hard to play a bad girl. This "trying" involves a lot of squinting, eyeliner and a deliberately lower voice and not a lot of, um, acting
Patrick wanting to spend time with Emma and Robin (and them immediately dropping everything to go to work and leaving Emma in the care of the local mobster whose eldest child is in a coma because he was shot in the head in a botched hit on his father's life)
Robin not wanting to spend time with Emma
Carly and Jax fighting/talking about their fights/reconciling/talking about their reconciliation
And people are all "Daytime ratings are in the toilet! What do we do?!" As if producing entertaining, quality television is just too far outside the realm of possibility to even consider.