More Dumb Dialogue Than You Can Shake A Stick At
While watching yesterday's episode of General Hospital, my ears kept perking up every few minutes. "There it is," I'd say, "That's the day's dumbest dialogue." And I'd write it down...under the list of the, like, seventy pieces of dialogue I'd already thought would wind up as the day's dumbest. Moral of the story: never think this show has reached a quality nadir.
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #1
Sonny: Doctor, schedule the operation.
Dr. Hensen: Do you need to discuss this with Michael's mother?
Sonny: No, no, I know Michael's mother very well. She would want me to do it.
Um...don't you need to have custody of your child before you can give consent for them to undergo a life-threatening operation? I would have liked to hear Sonny go into more detail about how well he knows Michael's mother. "See, she and I go way back. We forced Michael's biological father to give up his rights by hanging him on a meathook. It was crazy. We've been married like thirty times, and I shot her in the head once. Funny story, I'll have to tell it to you one day. And Michael is in his present state because he got caught in a hit on my life. So you see...Carly would really want me to make this decision, because I do so many reasonable, well thought out things."
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #2
Olivia: Here is what I think. I think you set sonny up so he wouldn't notice the convenient timing of your pregnancy and he wouldn't ask too many questions about how you got pregnant when you were supposedly using protection.
Claudia: Sonny and I can be extremely energetic during sex. I was a gymnast. What can I say? Accidents happen.
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #3
Claudia: Wow, you take every opportunity you can get to talk to my husband, don't you? Show up at his house unannounced, follow him onto the dock. You know, they have a technical term for that. It's called stalking.
Okay, again, maybe it's not dumb, exactly, but making me agree with something Claudia said certainly is dumb. Ugh, Olivia is annoying. Remind me again why she is on the show? And remind me again why Megan Ward got bumped down to recurring? I mean, besides the answer that the powers-that-be are literally incapable of making a good decision. That's obvious, I am just wondering if there is something else. Something like a sinister plot to drive the audience insane...
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #4
Nikolas: Why is it so impossible for everyone to believe that I might like Rebecca for herself?
Because she is terrible, Nikolas. We're trying to figure out how you can stand to spend five minutes with her, let alone moon after her.
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #5
Olivia: You know what? Sonny is not a complete idiot.
Oh, Sassy Port Charles Truth-Telling Truth-Teller, you are wrong. So very wrong.
Day's Dumbest Dialogue #6
Jason: Yeah, I know. I'm looking into that.
Sonny: I need you to find him. I'm counting on you to take care of this while I focus on Michael.
"All you have is a head injury, Jason. No big. Now please, go do my bidding for me. Hurry!"