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« Our Column in the 4/28 Issue of Soap Opera Digest | Main | I Have Faith That He Is a Hypocritical Ass. I Think That's Different, Though. »

April 21, 2009

The Bad Girls Club

I don't care what they have to do at this point to make us all forget that Emily was murdered and that her corpse was displayed onscreen for weeks and that she had undead ghost/tumor sex with Nikolas. I seriously don't. If it turns out that Emily had a twin and the twin was impersonating her at the Black and White Ball and that the twin was the one who died? Fine. Diego comes back and is all, "J/K, I never killed Emily"? Okay. A scroll appears at the bottom of the screen saying "We made the foolish and short-sighted decision to kill off Emily Quartermaine in our attempt at an edgy sweeps stunt and we failed in a major, major way, so we're going to bring her back, but instead of writing a story that would explain her return, we're just going to pretend like Rebecca never happened, so if you could go ahead and banish her from your memory, that would be great"? I'd buy it.

Because seriously, this may sound like a drama queeny thing to say, but I mean it with complete sincerity: I don't know how much longer I can watch Natalia Livingston try to be bad before I start taking hostages.


Rebecca: Don't you ever touch me again, lady.

"Look at me! Look at me, I am being soooo mean right now. Watch me flip my hair sassily to underscore the fact that I am bad!"

Rebecca: You know what? I don't give a damn. I moved here to work at the hospital. And then right away, you were right after me, stalking me, obsessed with me, wouldn't leave me alone. The truth is I felt sorry for you. And then you helped me through my cancer scare and I was grateful, but now it's over. I'm done.

"Can you imagine Emily saying this? No, right? Being bad is awesome. You can tell I'm bad from my liberal use of the word damn, as well as my sneering and squinting and raccoon makeup."

Rebecca: I was so ticked off, Iwasn't paying attention. I'll be damned if those people cost me the price of a new pair.

It's like she caught an episode of Full House and saw Gia and was like, "That girl tried to peer pressure Stephanie Tanner into smoking! She's the epitome of bad! Let me pattern my new character on her!"


It was only made more ridiculous by the instance of putting Rebecca next to the REAL Bad Girl Helena.....and yeah right they are so similar. (I'm also choosing to beleive Helena complimenting Teethan was her being sarcastic so as to not turn in my Helena loving fangirl card) I have to believe the only reason Helena wouldn't mind seeing her again is so she can laugh and work out the perfect insult to hurl at her.

So WTF was up yesterday with "Re-badass" lunging in towards Nikolas' face and then lunging back out again with each word as she yelled at him? Was that the "I need to be more menacing" hokie pokie? Was she trying to get a rap lyric going? I literally recoiled against the back of my sofa and eeked out an "UGHOHARGH" sound of some kind.

How about the robotic acting on the docks with the "OH, I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE" so Nikolas wouldn't think she was conspiring with Helena. Very convincing! If your IQ is smaller than your SHOE SIZE!

Someone owes Constance Towers an apology for having to share scenes with this nitwit. I thought Natalia Livingston sucked as Emily, but this is truly the vortex of suck. This doesn't happen by accident. You have to be TRYING. Christopher Tyler looks like he's one bad line away from taking one of those goth statues and bashing his own head in with it.

And when we finally get graced with a scene from the gloriousness that is Nancy Lee Grahn, she gets called a bitch by the likes of NoTalentia Livingston? Which was another utter disaster. Once again she did one of those awkward lunges forward like it's taking all of her strength to say words like "damn" and "bitch." I thought NLG was going to laugh out loud. Not the reaction you're looking for in that scenario.

Why is it the two best actors in yesterday's episode were:

1) Michael who is both a) in a coma and b) not even seen except for a lump under the covers at the end of the bed.

2) A dazzling performance by a pregnancy test stick (in TWO scenes no less as you know that Laura Wright and Sarah Brown had to share that test stick - budget cutbacks, you know)

Jesus, I hate this effing' show.

I can't stand this Rebecca character. Just do us a favor and make her undead Emily already. NL is not good as a bad girl and she looks terrible with the blond hair and all the eye makeup. Supposedly Guza had a great storyline planned if NL decided to come back. If this is that story TIIC should have thought twice before killing Emily.

At best, Natalia Livingston is a forgetable actress. To bring her back after it took weeks to get her "ghost" off the screen is more of Guza's sadistic insanity....and they bring her back over Genie Francis???

Is anyone truly shocked by how bad and ill conceived this whole thing is? Anyone? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Word. It's gotten to the point where I ff all of her scenes. I can't take her over-enunciating in order to express her anger or her "I'm not at all trying to be sneaky" act while she was talking to Helena.

Please lets just have Emily back, NL can't really act her way out of a paper bag, and at least with her Emily she didn't really need to have a personality.

Total agreement! Im so sick of her! Esp the way she throws her hair around. God!!

Makes you miss Nadine doesn't it?? (At least a very tiny, tiny little bit.)

*****So WTF was up yesterday with "Re-badass" lunging in towards Nikolas' face and then lunging back out again with each word as she yelled at him?*********

OMFG!!!! I thought it was just me who noticed that. I was like "What the hell is she doing with her neck?" It was awful. Can they just go ahead and make her Emily because at least as Emily Natalia is basically playing herself. This trying to be Becky badass is soooooooo not working and shows that she has absolutely no range in her acting. And yes, it does make me miss Nadine.

Also I hope you ladies post someting about the hypocrisy that is the mob boss saying that getting an abortion "goes against his faith" SERIOUSLY!!!!But killing RANDOM OTHER PEOPLE DOESN'T?!?!??!?!?! I hate Sonny.

Outstanding post Mallory. I think your idea of a scroll literally reading to the fans to ignore and forget some of the awful on air decisions is something we may actually see for real soon. Think how helpful that would be for the execs. Instead of blaming actors or viewers for their own mistakes in production, they could just tell us to ignore them on a scroll running during their shows at the bottom of the screen. What a time saver!

Like during the endless flirting and kisses between Zach and Reese the scroll would read "This really isn't happening, it's just a peck and these two love their partners and don't want each other at all, so relax, Reese and Bianca are cool and so are Zach and Kendall. Also, Zach never gave sperm to his sister in law behind his wive's back to have that baby girl. Bianca didn't want her new baby to share DNA with the rapist after all, ok? We're cool now right?"

Rebecca was so beyond awful yesterday I don't know how NL can be happy to be back. I feel sorry for her. Guza pumps her up and brings her back just to humiliate her and make her look like a terrible actress. It's painful to watch. I almost never liked her as Emily, she had zero personality or spunk like young Amber Tamblyn. NL's best work was when Alan had his heart attack during the MC sweeps stunt. She portrayed anger fear and frustration really well in those few scenes. Other than that, FF.

And pretty please Mallory and Becca, read the Nelson interview w/ SB on tv guide.com. I would love to read what you have to say about that.

I haven't watched in months, but I recorded yesterday because between you two and the TWoP folks, I just had to see if everything was as bad as everyone's been saying (and also to check out the rumored orange-ness). My god, it's worse.

And Sonny was the weirdest shade, sort of a burnt umber (that's the correct Crayola term, right?)

Can we just take NL off the screen? Please? I don't want Emily back; I don't want to keep Rebecca. Maybe she can take Teethan with her...along with any talent this joke of a writing team may have left her with.

I think I caught a few minutes of this show on Monday and all I could think was, "I'd rather be watching the news. At least it's different once in a while." The news!

When I look at how awful Grey's became (I'm almost certain I used to like this show) and how GH keeps one-upping its ridiculous rewriting of history, I am blown away how, with just a few well-adjusted writers Brothers and Sisters is my favorite show on right now.

Can I just say, having Amber Tamblyn on screen again is like ABC apologizing for Guza being in charge of anything?

not only is NL a pretty bad actress but she was put up against powerhouses like nancy and constance. thats like putting up paris hilton against meryl streep. Poor tyler christopher to have to be stuck again in another awful storyline with this actress

Either NL forgot how to act or she should stick to playing the good girl, b/c I had to wrap my head around that fact that she's an Emmy winner after watching her yesterday. But then again, Adrienne Frantz is also an Emmy winner, so nevermind....

I feared for poor Tyler when Natalia started lunging at him. I thought any minute now she gonna fly forward and smack him in the forehead. I also wanted to laugh when she called Alexis a bitch. Trying hard, much?

This epi made me wish for more Jason holding Carly's pee stick.

OMG! She so is Gia from Full House. You nailed that one.

I didn't even like her Zander-destroying, Nikolas worshipping version of Emily but still I prefer that to this horrid OTT "bad" girl she's playing now.

Huge props to Nancy & Constance for not pointing & laughing at her during their scenes with Remily.

Mallory, I can't stop laughing. NL's weird body movements stuck out for me. I'm with you. Bring back Emily and call it a day. Emily can come out of the shower and discover it was all a dream and I'll take it without any fuss.

I'm right with you on the "whatever they have to do" wavelength. I've been thinking for the past few months that it would be just great if they decided the past couple years were like the "dream" season on Dallas (where they had screwed up and killed Bobby then realized their HUGE mistake) and Georgie, Emily, Tony and Alan were all actually still alive.

I know when Dallas did that, people were all pissed that they'd wasted a year watching the show only to realize it was all a dream, but since we all already KNOW we've wasted the last few years watching this shitfest, I feel confident in saying that if it would bring back fan faves and shake things up a little, most of us would be all like, "Thank GOD it was just a dream!"

Gia is ten times the badass Rebecca could ever be.

"Makes you miss Nadine doesn't it?? (At least a very tiny, tiny little bit.)"

You stole my line! Ha! I was one of the few that actually didn't despise Nadine and at least CC could act in that role. NL is worse than the worse as Rebecca. She just can't play bad girl and it's really really painful to watch her try.

Watching NL founder like a fish out of water really makes me appreciate JT, KMc, RHearst, NLG and JE even more than before. The fact that the show has any viewers left is a testament to the talent of the actors/actress who somehow make a terrible situation bad instead of god awful. The Rebecca/Nik s/l would still be sorry, but not as sorry if NL could actual play the role of Rebecca. She can't and it's zapping the last bit of credibility this s/l had left. Seriously, without JT, KMc, RHearst, NLG and JE I'd have been gone a long time ago.

Bring back the plow patent!! hahaha

Hey, NL could now be in the running for the "duh" face of the year!

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