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« Soap Blog Coalition | Main | Inventing New and Exciting Forms of Stupidity »

April 16, 2009

The Day's Most Cringe-Worthy Dialogue

Have you ever been watching something and you feel so acutely embarrassed for the participants that you have to cover your eyes and finish watching whatever it is from behind your fingers, like you would if you were watching a horror movie?

Kendall: I want you to say that -- that you love me and that you want to make this work.

Ryan: I do. I do, but --

Kendall: But why does it have to be so difficult? Because. Because that's life. Life is difficult. It's -- it's messy, and complicated, and filled with difficult choices. I -- I've made mine. Now it's your turn. Why can't you just do this for me?

Ryan: Don't do that. Don't turn this around and make me look like the bad guy here, ok?

Kendall: Why? Because that position belongs to me?

Ryan: No, Kendall. Nobody is at fault here. This is -- this is just really, really bad timing.

Kendall: No, but, Ryan, it doesn't have to be. We can do this. We can -- we can make this work, all of us. You, and me, and Emma, and the boys, I think we can be a family. We just -- we can't live together right away. I want a life with you, I do. You love me. Isn't that enough?

Rendall is my horror movie.

Kendall is obviously disregarding my self-choosing advice (I am not taking it personally because, you know, she's fictional and being controlled by the creatively and morally bankrupt hack known as Charles Pratt) and I think it will lead to heartache. For Kendall, who has not yet learned that romance with Ryan only leads to mental and/or physical scars; for the audience, who deserve better than a Rendall redux, even if that means we stare at infomercials for an hour a day; and for poor Emma, who's soon going to have a "Holy crap, my dad is a huge freaking manwhore" epiphany.


I have much more to say about AMC (spoiler: it involves more hating on Ryan and STD jokes made at Krystal's expense), but in the meantime, I leave you with two nuggets of genius that are the best things to be associated with this show in ages.


By the Hammer of Thor...AMC:Pratt Falls in pure genius!

Okay, I barely watch AMC anymore. But that? Was AWESOME. And I want to know who is going to make us a GH version post haste!

Hilarious. My favorite part is the insane "so they know what is right in front of their face is actually true" moment, because that really is what they believe! What is most hard to believe usually turns out to be the truth.

OMG That was hilarious. Let's hope someone comes up with a GH version for Guza.

I never watch AMC, but that was HILARIOUS.

I hope they make the Guza version. They could hang a picture of Sonny and Jason behind him on the wall.

OMG! Those videos are made of total win. Thank you for making sure more people saw them...namely me.

I'll add my voice the chorus of people who say that someone needs to do these for GH.

Those videos are hilarious and spot on. My only comment about today's show is poor Kendall, and even more importantly, Poor Alicia Minshew.

How has someone not killed Ryan for being such an epic douche? Does anyone remember Ryan when he arrived on AMC? I wonder if he was less douchey. I loathe him so much now I can't recall his arrival. I vaguely remember Jillian, but that's it. Oy, he is the King of Tools.

Ryan is to Pratt as Jason is to Guza

The videos were hilarious, thanks for posting them.

There is a 3rd epi!:

i love these!! i soo agree that there should definitely be one made for GH with the evil Guza!!

That is fantastic!!!

Best Lines:
"Chuck are you on crack?"
"Pratt what are you smoking?"

I ask those very same questions quite often.


i would watch these over AMC any day!

Those clips are massively hilarious and I do think this is how Pratt really speaks.

Please, please, please tell me that you intend to make a special post about that ass-backwards argument between Erica and Kendall, where Erica flat out blames Kendall for the divorce w/out ever laying blame at Zach, Bianca, Reese, and herself. They all had a part in it.

Anyone who loved the Pratt Falls series should check out Soap Destroyers! It features Frons, Guza, Corday, Bloom, Valentini & Carlivati. Last time I checked there were five up.

*It appears there are 8 up now. I have some catching up to do!

Mal, I don't know how you can stomach AMC anymore. Whenever I catch it I end up running from the room screaming after about 6 seconds.

i love you!

The Pratt Falls videos are pure win. Even though I have only been the most casual AMC watcher, because Pratt is a Guza flunky, they totally resonate for a GH (former) fan as well.

Wow! Hilarious!
Thank you for sharing stuff that is better to watch than 2/3 of our shows!

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