Before I start discussing happenings on today's General Hospital(spoiler: it's rage-y and curse-y!), I want to thank everyone for being patient and indulging the craziness of our real lives that occasionally get in the way of posting, and to thank everyone who emailed and Facebook messaged me filling me in on the highs and lows (mostly lows) of daytime and urging me not to drop out of school and become a hobo. You are sweet squared and you put a huge smile on my face.
Speaking of huge smiles:
I don't want to get into a 'shipper war or anything, but if Lucky and Liz reuniting over the course of six minutes with no buildup, no sense and no good writing makes Cameron that happy, who am I to complain about it?
He is THE BEST.
My heart is prematurely breaking for what is sure to be a huge decrease in Cam sightings once Lucky and Liz are inevitably backburnered like they always are.
My heart is also breaking, BTW, over what this show has done to me. I like to consider myself a fairly eloquent person. And I love words! I especially love using a dozen words when I could probably make my point with three, and I also love long run-on sentences, so there are many times when I write a sentence that should really be three paragraphs and perhaps that is not proper English, but whatever, that's for squares. The problem is that GH robs me of my ability to use words and I spend entire episodes either silent and stony-faced, shocked and gaping like a simpleton, or making noises that are part curse/part wretch/part gasp.
Let's just put it out there, okay: Luke cheated on Laura. And "the timing works" for him to be a plausible candidate in the "Who's Ethan's Daddy and, Perhaps More Importantly, Does Anyone Care?" contest. That means, based on Lucky's astute observation that Ethan is around Lulu's age, that Luke either cheated on Laura while they were on the run and, you know, happy together, or right around the time when Lulu was born and dying.
Does Bob Guza wake up in the morning and say, "You know, I've ruined this show's history but I haven't ruined it ENOUGH. What else can I do? I've already killed practically all of the Quartermaine-y whosawhatsis, so what now? I KNOW! Let me take the legacy of Luke and Laura and pour gasoline all over it, then set fire to it and cackle maniacally, all in the name of SHOCKINGNESS and EDGINESS and a MARBLE-MOUTHED RANDOM AUSTRALIAN DUDE. Because I am Bob Guza! There was no Luke Spencer until I reinvented Luke Spencer! I don't believe in non-Sonny and non-Jason sacred cows! Choke on THAT, Genie Francis!"
I mean, really: Luke cheating on Laura. And pretty much being like "I know I'm a douche, but since I'm admitting to being a douche, you can't get mad at me for being a douche, douche" about it when Lucky had the nerve to be outraged that his father cheated on his mother. And then comparing this random Australian maybe-brother to the Nikolas situation? Double you tee eff?
And this moment, from yesterday's show, in one of GH's many "Ethan, you rule/Lucky, you suck" scenes:
Luke: You know, [Lucky's] pretty messed up, really. This uptight, upright citizen thing doesn't suit him. He was not raised to be a cop raising other people's children.And one day, I'm afraid he's going to wake up and realize that he's caught in a dead-end life.
REALLY? I hope when Cam is done doing his "Yay, my mom and dad are back together" happy dance that he decides to take a walk over to the Haunted Star (you know he could find it by himself) andgive Luke a "Bitch, please" of epic proportions, and let Ethan know he's got a target on his back because SERIOUSLY.
I am nearly a month into my official hatred of Luke Spencer, which is one of the sadder sentences I've ever typed, and, at this point, I just want to know what the purpose of it is. Because it's not entertaining, it's not well written and it seems to just be a way for the powers-that-be to tell the audience to suck it and you know, I'd rather the writers just do that literally rather than figuratively. Yes, it would be jarring at first to hear the actors break character and say "blah blah blah, suck it", but wouldn't you prefer that tothe systematic destruction of a daytime legend and the sick thrill you know Guza gets from completely changing Luke's character and pissing all over the show's history?
Soul-killing in a different way is the continuing adventures of Nikolas and Rebecca of The N.Y.C. Makeup Shelf At CVS. It depresses me with its boringness. We actually watched them paint a room today. Thrilling! At one point, when Nikolas was very carefully painting one particular part of the room, I was afraid we were in for a long montage set to some caterwauling, folksy song. I also thought it was in slow motion, but that is neither here nor there. And also, can you imagine what would happen if the writers approached their job with the care and attention to detail that Nikolas approached that wall?
Then there was the hilarious part when Nikolas pulled a muscle moving Rebecca's dresser and she said she'd fix it.
Rebecca: Lie down and take your clothes off.
Cut to the door closed and what sounds like sex noises...except it was really just a massage. Oh, the wacky shenanigans! The zaniness never stops with these two!
I am also really bored with Nikolas's repeated insistences that he is not obsessed with Rebecca because she looks like Emily (joking about how you are a creepy stalker does not make you any less of a creepy stalker, Nik).
Nikolas: I like you for you, not because you look like her.
I wish someone would follow that up with, "Really? What is the "you" you like her for? She has literally no redeeming qualities. What on earth could you possibly like about her? The cheap Rizzo imitation? The pounds of eye makeup?"
Spinelli and Maxie's estrangement is deadly dull and during my furious soap catching up this week, I pretty much paid no attention to it. Like, it was on, and I knew it was on, and I was like, "Oh, there's Maxie and Spinelli" and yet I can't even do a decent recap of any of their scenes because I just tune out.
I was all set to do the same in today's episode until Lulu entered.
That is a whole lot of cleavage, and the dress was super short. It was mesmerizing. I kept waiting for a wardrobe malfunction which could have happened easily if Julie Marie Berman did anything crazy like sit down or move her arm. I think that may be the only thing that could make me pay attention to this storyline!
Liz: Giving [Jake] up was the most selfless thing any father could do.
To be fair, selfless and selfish do sound similar...
Question: what has Laura Wright done to become even more fabulous and gorgeous lately and how do I go about doing the same?
She looks amazing.
More GH thoughts to come, including the continuing horrors of Sonny and Claudia, the unbearable pointlessness of Olivia, my dread over the summer of the SORAS and the entertainment value in Two Hot Doctors and A Little Baby!