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« It Really Is Impossible To Please Me, Isn't It? | Main | You Take the Good, You Take the Bad... »

May 11, 2009

This Scenario Was Way Better in My Imagination

For years, I have longed for someone, after one of Jason's solemn pronouncements about his unerring rightness, to just say, "Jesus Christ Superstar, what is your problem? Since when are you the last word on [who gets to live/who gets to die/what needs to be done to fix the American economy/who should win American Idol]?" It was a dream of mine.

A dream shot to hell in one instant during today's episode. Yes, following its ruination of cake, babies, and Facebook, General Hospital has managed to make even someone calling out Jason on the whole "Messiah of Port Charles" thing more irksome than awesome.

Claudia: Who died and made you god?

Claudia

THANKS FOR NOTHING, CLAUDIA ZACCHARA!!!

Seriously, I was SO ANNOYED when she busted that line out. Yes, it is a sentiment that Jason and his worshippers SORELY need to hear, and yes, it was HILARIOUS to see Carly's outraged reaction to such blatant blasphemy

Blasphemy

but the excellent point lost all credibility when it came out of her mouth, because she is terrible. No amount of rationalizing why she refused to leave the hospital during Michael's surgery (the surgery that he is undergoing to take him out of the coma he was left in during her botched hit on his father, remember) and let Michael's family...and Olivia, worry and support one another in peace will make her presence anything less than obnoxious. And she couldn't even just be in the background, being quietly obnoxious. No, she has to be in everybody's face with her toxicity, giving her opinion on what they should do about Michael and generally sneering and lurking and being awful.

I find that this kind of insanity is at odds with the kind of person who grieved for her part in Michael's coma to the point where she visited him every week--like clockwork!--to apologize? It's like she got kicked off of her own Redemption Tour Bus like she was one of Bret Michaels's rejects, and now she's just twisting in the wind, and poor Sarah Brown is getting no notes on how the hell to play this mess of a character.

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ALSO, since when do family members just get to call the OR during serious surgeries? "Hey guys, just checking in. What's new? How's it going? Susan Boyle's on Oprah right now, it's totally crazy." 

Divider

[Here is where I'd discuss the other major plot of late, the "Haha, This Is Maybe Incest" wackiness with Luke encouraging Lulu to flirt with Ethan, who he thinks is her half-brother, because he suspects that Tracy faked the DNA test and he wants to trick Tracy into admitting the truth by ooking her out with the possibility of sibling love, but I cannot discuss it, because I am trying to repress it]

Comments

Repress away Mallory...REPRESS AWAY!!!!! Just eww...who the heck thought that was a good idea?

Of all the things GH picks to pull from my head they pick THAT one to ruin? what's next? Cameron?

CLAUDIA RUINS WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE AWESOME WRITERS BEST LINE EVER!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for this post. You are my GH Prozac. Today's episode filled me w/ rage. Anyone else on the show could have said that line and it would have been extremely satisfying. Not worth the ten years I have waited to hear it, but extremely satisfying all the same. What a huge effin waste. To me, that's like Guza saying "I hear you fans, how do you like when I take your suggestions and put them on GH now bitches!"

And besides the wacky phone call from another planet, I mean seriously? "Hey Matt, you like pepperoni or sausage? You still want extra cheese on your pizza Nurse Weber? Olivia is doing a food run and she needs our order now."-Dr. Drake. Who the hell do thee idiots think they are? Carly thinks it's a good idea to interrupt her Son's surgery to chat w/ Patrick? She made the decision now she has to wait like everyone else on the planet does. Patrick/the lead surgeon decides what goes on in the OR and nobody else, ever. Surgery by constant voting? No thanks.

Not one of them went to college, Sonny even dropped out of high school, but they are all debating about when to stop a surgery? Open skull experimental neurosurgery done by a doc who has never seen or tried this procedure before? You signed the waiver Carly and now he's elbow deep in your son's brain, but hey... why not tell him that's enough we're done. You certainly know better and there are no laws or rules about this kind of thing or even malpractice in GHland. WTF?!?!

Oh, and Jax, Sonny has no legal rights to Michael you moron.

I am so sick of the evil and the stupidity. Especially in the mobsters and their apologists.


Here is where I'd discuss the other major plot of late, the "Haha, This Is Maybe Incest" wackiness with Luke encouraging Lulu to flirt with Ethan

HA! I haven't watched maybe more than ten minutes of GH in months, but when I read that description I could just hear that stupid musical cue they always use to announce, "Uh-oh, something zany is going on!"

Potential half siblings boinking each other?

What the hell is this....Guiding Light?

I was more than slightly crazed when Luke came up with this latest hairbrained scheme. Yes, Luke might want to get Lulu and Ethan to play make believe boy/girl love to call Tracy's bluff and prove she switched the results. . .but yuck!

First off, throwing them together is just mean, especially given that they could get a little too close (incest anyone?) and more importantly he could really be hurting Lulu and his "new fangled" cowboy, if they start to develop real feelings.

I hate these writers. I hope and pray that this "zaniness" means Luke and Ethan are IN NO WAY RELATED, but I'm not holding my breath.

I HATE Claudia. . .It took the writers TWELVE YEARS to get close to redeeming the character of hurricane Carly they unleashed on us the last time SJB came to town. . .she destroyed everything in her wake. . . and now, she's (they're) at it again!

I guess I'm one of the few Jason fans out there, but in this current plot line, Jason has more say in what happens with Michael than Sonny. (When exactly did Jax become such a Sonny fan, asking him to make decisions about a child he is no longer legally bound to.) Besides Carly, Jason is Michael's only other blood relative in that room. He is his uncle, after all. And he took the heat for selfless reasons, so Carly wouldn't feel guilty if she chooses badly, although we all know Michael wakes up from the commercials, which blew any suspense about this operation out of the water. Of course, that was already blown when they hired an older actor to play Coma Michael. Anyway, you might have been waiting for someone to take Jason down a notch, but this was not only the wrong character but the wrong suitutaion. And wouldn't one think that Edward and Monica would be waiting in that room as well? I hate that these characters are treated so senselessly.

And I hate hate hate Ethan.

My emotions ranged from disgust to humor today with this show. Luke encouraging Lulu to flirt with her possible sib was just gross. Carly's face when Claudia tried to beat down Jason. Hilarious. Claudia's sleazy clothes, still gross.
Call the OR to check in on your loved one undergoing major brain surgery. Hilarious.
Oliva, still annoying. Spinmax, boring. JaSam, boring. And thanks ABC for going on ahead and previewing the scene we are waiting for anyway, where Michael wakes up. Cuts the viewing time right down.

I so agree with u ladies. Guza to me is officially the devil's son. Only he would have a character like Claudia say what we all think about Jason hit-man/saint Morgan. and u know his ass did it to somehow justify the shit he's done to Jason Morgan. He had to have a character like Claudia someone who is just as bad if not worse say that so that Jason hit-man/saint Morgan will still look like what he does is normal. Man I'm glad I haven't really been watching GH scenes Kimberly has been off air. It made me realize that as much as I HATE the shit they have done to her character and scrubs as a couple and a family in the last few months, I still miss her on screen and miss Patrick and Robin as a couple and as a family with sweet beautiful baby Emma. I mean I love JT and Patrick but I honestly would not even bother watching this mob infested shit whole without the pairing of Robin and Patrick and without Kimberly.

You're repressing it too? How very smart of you.

I don't think I would have been happy with anyone delivering that line but some disgruntled fan who won a walk-on role just to say it. Or without there being a flashing "Bob Luza" at the bottom of the screen.

There is just nothing good to say about this show. Teethan is hideous. I have hated him from the moment he showed up on screen. And Claudia....I just have no words for that vile whore except the bitch needs to fuckin' die along with the spawn she's carrying.

I keep secretly wondering if the show can get any worse and then I shudder because that's exactly what I thought last year, the year before and the year before that and look what happened! There is not one s/l right now that I'm even remotely enjoying. Not one! I can barely enjoy my favorite characters because the writing is a black cloud over shadowing any and all goodness.

Normally, I would be so over the moon to see Alexis, but I just can't be because it also means she has to share scenes with the nu/not/raccoon-eyed Emily. Sorry, but NL and this s/l takes pretty much all my "Alexis in on the screen" joy away.

I love Dr. Patrick Drake and I love that he is this uber talented neurosurgeon, but if I have to hear another person talk about his surgical brilliance, I might have to wash their mouths out with soap. Must the writing be so repetitive?! Not to mention the fact that Patty's using his surgical gifts to bring Chucky back to his family. Don't do it Pattycakes!

As for my beloved Ric, his current devilishness would normally spark a tiny bit of excitement out of me (because nobody does devilishness like Rick Hearst), but not when he's being devilishness and keeping such a horrible secret for absolute no REAL reason. I never liked Chucky and I'm beyond upset about him waking up because I know he and his family will continue to eat up GH, but this is the type of secret you DON'T play around with and you DON'T keep to yourself (that goes for you too Olivia). Seriously, give Claudia up so that she can be killed!

Finally, there is Luke Spencer! Nothing to say except "Dead To Me."

It's like the writers are purposely trying to torture me!

I'm so over Jason, he's such a joke, what's he going to do about Claudia, nothing. He should stop with his attitude, seriously, he did shit about Sam and he'll do nothing about Claudia, other than his usual blink & stare.

God? Schmuck more like it.

And what about the hypocrisy of Sonny??? Just a few episodes ago, he declared that he "knew what Carly would want" and that they should go ahead with the surgery. Then, today he's saying it's not his decision and it had to be up to Carly. Do the writers even pay any attention to the crap they write? Not only are the storylines stupid, but they jump around all over the place. No wonder the actors can't figure out how to play the characters. Arghhh!

I used to really enjoy Serial Drama and the snark but I guess like all the other blogs, no offense ladies, I've tired of it. I think GH is awful, but as a whole. It just amazes me that Robin and Patrick and the boring Jason and Liz have been treated as saviors by all the bloggers out there, yet when anyone else dares to appear on screen it's all awfulness. The whole show is awful which includes those couples and their stories. I used to enjoy the snark on here but it's just like all the message boards, it's gotten old and repetitive. Maybe if you started snarking on OLTL or another show, it might be fresh, I've just tired of it. No offense. I'm going offline to see if I can enjoy the show more that way.

Um, no offense taken, I guess...

Kels, that contest for a GH walk-on role is the greatest thing I have ever heard of. ABC could make enough money to solve all of their woes if they auctioned that off!

I have often wondered as I watch this show just...WHAT THE HELL IS A DIRECTOR FOR ?!" because you truly would not know it from looking at this show in the past going on 10 YEARS of this hellish daymare know as the"Sonny and Jason Hour with guest star Carly". A good director would try to entertain us instead of apparently just uttering the words at 4151 Prospect Ave. "action!" and "cut" instead of really making an attempt to guide these actors into at least somewhat interesting performances so we can be entertained.

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