A Never Ending Parade of Stupid
I sat in silence during Friday's episode of All My Children and for a long time after it ended, contemplating how best to describe the massive amount of dumb exhibited by Liza Colby. I was speechless for an embarrasing amount of time trying to come to grips with describing the level of idiocy necessary to fake labor to get out of an admittedly ghoulish fake funeral for a not dead baby and then go continue your fake labor at your ex-boyfriend's house where your daughter hangs out, and then insist that your daughter stay with you during your fake labor and, apparently, just cross your fingers and hope that she doesn't think anything of it when you birth a pillow and have a baby delivered via courier in the form of Tad Martin with a brain injury.
Do I list a number of adjectives for dumb, and remark that even if we were to assign numerical values to each synonym, add them together, and multiply by pi? Do I craft a series of "Yo Momma" jokes about her? Do I hit her below the belt and insinuate that her plans are even more illogical and flat out felony level stupid than those of Claudia Zacchara's? It broke my brain!
Jake: You do? You want her to stay and witness the birth of a pillow, do you?
Liza: She just asked for me to help. Do you know how long I've been waiting for my daughter to reach out to me?
Jake: Do you know how difficult this is going to be to pull off, do you?
Liza: Ok, one of the reasons I'm having this baby is bond with my daughter. Jake, she stays.