We're Here to Help
It's once again time to take a look at the Google searches that lead people to our online home. The earnest inquiries, the outraged rants, the truly bizarre shit that we are never really able to figure out why the Google crawler paired it up with our soapy posts or why people don't have friends to talk to about -- we bring it all together to laugh at address in the most respectful way possible.
i want to watch guiding light
Aw, that’s sweet. At least someone does!
On a related note:
guiding light cancellation hoax?
was guiding light cancelled
guiding light cancellation outrage
has guiding light been cancelled
I say this out of love [-ish]: It's over, and it's time to move on, sweetiepies. There are plenty of other crappy soaps for you to watch, though! Speaking of...
gh destroys characters to prop others
Yes, it does. Constantly. For nearly a decade now. It’s exhausting to watch, isn’t it? And again, speaking of...
how much does sonny corinthos suck?
So, so much.
We started off here with a relatively thorough accounting of the myriad reasons he sucks. And then we really haven't shut up about the issue for nearly three years. He keeps adding new reasons, which we are duty-bound to chronicle. So anyway, all this is to say that you have found your people. Welcome.
I hate ryan lavery
It’s kind of cute how Mallory searches for our own blog,
isn’t it? I think she just likes to verify on a weekly basis that
Google will direct all Ryan Lavery haters to her AMC posts. Like a
quality control measure.
Bizarre sex that hurts ultra much
nancy grahn to quit gh
HOW DARE YOU?!
don't put bad Nancy Lee Grahn employment juju out there into
cyberspace. Instead, take a few minutes to listen to this recent interview and tell me 1) how awesome she is, and 2) how much she loathes how Bob Guza writes for Alexis.
days of our lives why is this crap still on the air?
I think mostly because a 13th hour of the Today Show would be considered excessive even by the executives who greenlit that Kathie Lee shitshow.
The good thing is, if you just stick it out for a couple of weeks, you might think the show is great (before you then stick it out for a couple more weeks and it returns to being less interesting than you even thought was possible). Its inconsistency alone provides some level of interest. Daniel will never be anything but odious, though. Just FYI.
Rebecca Budig taller than
As far as I know, the only correct answers to this pseudo-question are "very young children," "Ryan Seacrest," and "Nicolas Sarkozy."
where can i watch full episodes of santa barbara serial
Nowhere that I know of. Whatever you do, do not look for such things on the network called "SOAPNet," because obviously that is a dumb place to expect to find them. I have my eye on The Golf Channel and The History Network, though. The Capwells seem like golf people, and the missions in Santa Barbara are way historic.
josh duhamel flip flops
Awesome. Are we just pairing hot men with summer footwear to see what pops up? George Clooney Tevas. Ryan Reynolds mandals. Chris Pine white bucs. This is fun!
jack and jill went up the hill with nobody in the vicinity
I think your nursery rhyme is going to end in a place that worries me.