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« Special Programming Note: My Antonio Premieres This Sunday | Main | Horror Has A New Name »

August 17, 2009

A Family Affair

Mondays are, obviously, universally reviled, but as far as I'm concerned, Sundays are quite nearly as bad, since there is a looming sense of dread hanging over the day, knowing that Monday and its infinite terribleness are right around the corner.

It is for this reason that I attempted to take a sad day and make it better, by having a marathon of The Young and the Restless because, I reasoned, a few hours of my favorite soap on the air would entertain me and distract me from the Monday awfulness just around the corner.

And I assume that is what would have happened had I been able to make it through the marathon without VOMITING, hoping for BLINDNESS and attempting to let loose a string of horrified PROFANITIES (attempted, because I was so disturbed that I couldn't even form words, and just let loose a horror movie scream that would do Eileen Davidson proud) at the fact that...well, I can't even make myself type the words, so I present Soap Opera Digest's recap of the situation:

When Tyra seemed unhappy at the mention of Neil's name, Devon asked if their relationship was in trouble. Devon reminded her that he'd warned her about Neil not being ready to be with her, which infuriated Tyra. Devon called her naïve and Tyra broke down. He comforted her and apologized for upsetting her. They then kissed and began undressing each other. Meanwhile, Roxy and Neil arrived at Devon's for game night, but Neil was called into work. Roxanne entered the doorway and spied Devon and Tyra having sex! She quickly left, making sure they didn't see her.

WHY DID THAT HAPPEN?!?!?! He thought she was his biological aunt until, like, three minutes ago! And she is dating Neil! And she is awful, but her awfulness doesn't even rank in the top ten list of reasons why this is a horrible idea (reasons one through ten are, of course, "This is incestuous". I have no idea what happened in the other storylines on the show, because my inner monologue for the rest of the day was "Why? How? Why? How? No!"

I know that I have asked for Bryton James (formerly Bryton McClure and Just Bryton) to get an actual storyline, but this is not what I meant! In the future, please use this as a cautionary tale and make sure to be ultra specific when it comes to making wishes, or else you will wind up watching a soap character have sex with the woman he always thought was his aunt, and who is just terrible on every conceivable level, and your weekend will be ruined, and you will be forced to repress a lot of memories.


Why does Tyra exist? She just brings a whole new level of awful to this show.

I would love to see her get a beatdown, courtesy of Roxy.

And can someone please tell her that the multi-colored nail trend does not look cute on grown women?

This seems like some horrible lesson that they're teaching "Bryton" and KSJ. Like, don't ask for a storyline, 'cause it will be AWFUL.

Two problems I had with it:
1. Most obvious: Devon had just sent Roxy on a quick errand and knew she'd be right back. Any cheater would have that in mind!

2. Tyra seems to be wearing a bad wig! Why didn't it fall right off during the horror?

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