"Realistic"...Like, The Way Harry Potter Is Realistic?
It's not that I'm surprised that Charles Pratt's discussions about his stories are as ill-conceived and poorly executed as the stories themselves. No, what's surprising is that, despite the fact that he is inept at everything he does, he collects a paycheck for it.
Oh, did I say "surprising"? I meant disgusting.
From Eye on Soaps:
Head Writer, Chuck Pratt, tells us that the identity of Stuart’s killer will come out “when it’s realistic,” ...He also goes on to say that Dixie’s murder via poisoned pancakes (which Alexander Cambais, the Satin Slayer, denied) is also tied into Stuart’s murder, but is “not essential to the solving of the story.”
There are two equally disturbing possibilities here:
1.) The man has no idea who the killer is, and "when it's realistic" is a vague code for "when I have any inkling who the hell I'm throwing under the bus", meaning that a much-loved veteran character was killed off with nary a thought of who the perpetrator would be, meaning that Pratt and Bob Guza are practically the same person, meaning that OH MY GOD, THEY ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD AND WE'RE ALL IN DANGER!
2.) The man actually thinks that there are parts of All My Children that remotely approach realism, which is so insane that I don't quite feel safe knowing that he is roaming the streets unsupervised.
Let's take a look at the realistic things that occurred during today's episode of AMC.
- A jury for a murder trial was selected in less than four minutes. If that's realistic, which apparently the show strives for, that means that when I go in for jury duty next Monday, I will know within 8.3 seconds whether or not I'll be sitting on a jury. Exciting!
That's not even MAGICAL REALISM, that's straight up science fiction or, more likely, the paranoid and unintelligible ramblings of a dangerous lunatic.
The rest of the show gives us a deeper, similarly upsetting look into the psyche of Pratt. We have the next great ABC Daytime love triangle in the form of Tad/Krystal/Taylor, as if any human being in the world is remotely interesting in such a vortex of hamminess, skank, and boringness, respectively. Because you know what we don't get enough of? Women talking about how great Tad is while Michael E. Knight makes exaggerated facial expressions
We were also given a small glimpse of Cameron Mathison's real personality and charisma today, in the short goodbye scene he had with Spike, which was ADORABLE, and yet they refuse to capitalize on that and, instead, choose to write Ryan as a completely loathsome, horrible person. I ask you: is any of this the work of a rational person?
But, that same Eye on Soaps commentary easily solved the entire murder mystery, as far as I'm concerned:
Say, “Goodnight, Palmer.” Veteran AMC actor, James Mitchell has quietly relocated to California and is not expected to appear on the show again.
I'm calling it now: Palmer killed Stuart, and Dixie, and also Jimmy Hoffa.