The One Where I Have No Words
In any long-term relationship, there comes a point in time where you find yourself firmly settled in a nice little routine. I have such a routine with General Hospital, although I'd hesitate to refer to it has a "nice" routine, since it is GH we are talking about.
I tune in. General Hospital does something to anger/offend/confuse/repel/depress me; I melodramatically threaten to quit watching; General Hospital says, "You know you love me, and you'll be back here at 3 tomorrow"; I know that General Hospital is right, and I hate myself for it and, in lieu of quitting the show, I instead write a five hundred word screed about it and laugh smugly to myself, all, "You don't have a snappy comeback for this, do you, General Hospital?"; General Hospital then says, "Maybe I'll ask my Emmy nominated writing staff to write a comeback for me. Adorable blog entry, though!"; I cry.
See, words are never my problem. I ALWAYS have something to say, and I often use too many words to do it (most of my Twitter hatred is directly related to their 140 character count, as I am the type of person who uses twenty words when three would do) and, occasionally, I resort to making words up. But then there are days when GH is too much and the only reactions I have are speechless horror, and speechless glaring at my television.
Rebecca: I'm sorry that I hurt you, Nikolas, and I'm sorry that you hate me. Most of all, I'm just sorry you can't see past it.
Speechless glaring at my television! "I know that yesterday you found out that I've been lying to you and exploiting the memory of my dead sister and have generally been an immoral she-beast, but geez, are you ever planning on getting over that?"
Kate: I see. Carly has always been very straightforward with her children. You've got to admire that. She's never been afraid to tell them the truth.
Speechless horror! The only thing I admire about Carly's parenting is the sheer dumb luck she has. Morgan has genes from Carly AND Sonny, and he, against all odds, has grown into a normal child who has a fighting chance of being a functional member of society, not confined to a jail cell or a mental hospital.
Kate: But Olivia, what if Dante is asked to arrest Sonny, the man he doesn't even know is his father? Seriously, Olivia. Tell the truth before something tragic happens.
Speechless rewinding and turning the closed captioning on and double checking that Kate actually said that, or if I hallucinated, because, seriously, the latter theory is far more plausible than the notion that someone would declare a police officer arresting a career criminal to be "tragic"!