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« Soap Blog Coalition | Main | Something Wicked This Way Comes...Every Afternoon At 3 PM »

August 20, 2009

The One Where I Have No Words

In any long-term relationship, there comes a point in time where you find yourself firmly settled in a nice little routine. I have such a routine with General Hospital, although I'd hesitate to refer to it has a "nice" routine, since it is GH we are talking about.

I tune in. General Hospital does something to anger/offend/confuse/repel/depress me; I melodramatically threaten to quit watching; General Hospital says, "You know you love me, and you'll be back here at 3 tomorrow"; I know that General Hospital is right, and I hate myself for it and, in lieu of quitting the show, I instead write a five hundred word screed about it and laugh smugly to myself, all, "You don't have a snappy comeback for this, do you, General Hospital?"; General Hospital then says, "Maybe I'll ask my Emmy nominated writing staff to write a comeback for me. Adorable blog entry, though!"; I cry.

See, words are never my problem. I ALWAYS have something to say, and I often use too many words to do it (most of my Twitter hatred is directly related to their 140 character count, as I am the type of person who uses twenty words when three would do) and, occasionally, I resort to making words up. But then there are days when GH is too much and the only reactions I have are speechless horror, and speechless glaring at my television.

Rebecca: I'm sorry that I hurt you, Nikolas, and I'm sorry that you hate me. Most of all, I'm just sorry you can't see past it.

Speechless glaring at my television! "I know that yesterday you found out that I've been lying to you and exploiting the memory of my dead sister and have generally been an immoral she-beast, but geez, are you ever planning on getting over that?"

Kate: I see. Carly has always been very straightforward with her children. You've got to admire that. She's never been afraid to tell them the truth.

Speechless horror! The only thing I admire about Carly's parenting is the sheer dumb luck she has. Morgan has genes from Carly AND Sonny, and he, against all odds, has grown into a normal child who has a fighting chance of being a functional member of society, not confined to a jail cell or a mental hospital.

Kate: But Olivia, what if Dante is asked to arrest Sonny, the man he doesn't even know is his father? Seriously, Olivia. Tell the truth before something tragic happens.

Speechless rewinding and turning the closed captioning on and double checking that Kate actually said that, or if I hallucinated, because, seriously, the latter theory is far more plausible than the notion that someone would declare a police officer arresting a career criminal to be "tragic"!

Comments

It's sad what Kate/MW has been reduced to: a useless prop for Olivia and Maxie. She deserves so much better.

"Tragic" is a step up from when Lucky would sneeze in Jason's pressence and it was written off as "blazing jealousy of something he had no clue was going on." That was always my favorite.

I admitted I doubled over in laughter about the whole "Carly has never been afraid to tell the truth" sentence. Yeah never been afraid to tell the truth...except when it comes to Michael's paternity....or Spencer's....or remember the three seconds she thought she was pregnant and instaed of telling Sonny it was her husband's....she said Jason's? Oh the truthy truth telling there!

OMFG! Today was a huge nauseating rewriting of history once again. What a sick joke. Carly honest w/ her children? Sure.... and I'm a brilliant freakin' 30 year old neurosurgeon. (eyeroll intensity lessened to dreamy image of Patrick Drake)

And if I have to see Jason bleeding from more gunshot wounds in an yet another abandoned church I am going to spork out my eyeballs. He is effin human swiss cheese! And out of nowhere he loves Sam again. And w/ no medical attention they get it on in that dirty old building w/ his open bullet wounds? Sure.... and I'm an adorable baby whose sexy brilliant MD parents role play really cute and I once lived in a tree for a while while my home town was cursed by toxic balls.

I have to admit however I actually really enjoyed Nikolas today, at least when he was w/ Molly. THAT was a glimpse of the real Nikolas. But where the hell was Spencer? Would it have killed GH to have Nikolas bring his own son to a family breakfast? His grandpa runs the place, maybe Mike would like to catch a glimpse at his grandson before he goes to college? And little Molly was fantastic. And then ALexis was there too and for a second GH wasn't awful.

And that last comment from Kate is why I refuse to get drawn into Dante, even though I like him so far. Eventually he's going to be a mob apologist at the least because God forbid the mobsters pay for anything they do. *sigh* It's been the same damn story for years.

I agree with you Andrea. It really makes me sad that they after completely destroying Kate's character, they now have her PIMPING her cousin OLIVIA to her ex the idiot she almost married. It is truly fucked up for lack of a better word and a complete and total insult to Megan Ward the wonderful actress and Kate the once wonderful character who had so much potential. it is truly fucked up, almost as messed up as the geek Spin and Maxie's seriously twisted relationship. and seriously I like Dante cause regardless of who his parents are, he seems really funny, quick and just... I like him! And seriously HOW THE HELL DID THIS "WRITING STAFF" GET NOMINATED FOR ANYTHING LET ALONE AN EMMY NOM? It just proves how much of a joke the daytime Emmy's truly is. and although I didn't watch the show yesterday and seriously nothing they do really surprises me anymore but seriously did they really have that moron annoying character Rebecca say to Nick: "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Nikolas, and I'm sorry that you hate me. Most of all, I'm just sorry you can't see past it". WTF?? If it wasn't for the Scorpio-Drake family, the great magic that is Kimberly and Jason's chemistry and those beautiful twins who play Emma, I would quit this show like yesterday cause it's a real sad shame that this once great show has been reduced to... this.

Kate, who was shot both at her wedding and also by one of Sonny's children, now thinks he "deserves" to know he has yet another kid? And admires Carly for telling her children the truth? So to be clear, Carly openly tells her children that their father is a career criminal and their Uncle Jason kills people for money? And that Sonny got custody of Michael by hanging his real father on a meat hook because, by god, nobody likes a recovering alcoholic? And that Sonny shot her in the head when she was giving birth to Morgan? And that she came to town to sleep with her stepfather so she could ruin her ex-hooker mother's life? And that she faked her own death?

I'm just trying to be clear on Carly's honesty here. I mean Carly would NEVER lie about a child's paternity because she likes someone else more.

And what IS all this nonsense about whether or not Rebecca was really in love with Nikolas? WHO CARES? HOW IS THAT THE POINT? What does that forgive? How does that make her a better person? And her comment to Alexis? "It's not like I ran an old lady or a pregnant woman off the road." Oh you're right, getting in a car accident is much worse than deliberately exploiting a family's grief over a loss to con them out of millions. Much worse.

I could spit.

I know your blog would become shorter because of the lack of material. But you really can stop watching.

I knoooow, Anna, I know! But, deep down, I do still love this show and care about (most of) its characters and I can't help but hope that it will surprise me by getting better. In related news, I am a sucker.

I feel the same way Mallory. This show is really hurting me and I have to make sure I don't eat while I'm watching, b/c it hurts so much. Yet, I can't stop watching. I am an eternal optimist. It's a blessing and a curse.

I am cheering on your rant Louise. Kate as an Olivia & Sonny pimper and glorious honest admirable Carly.... WTF?!?! Who buys into this crappy lie filled rewritten history liefest? The GH fans who love Sonny and Carly and Jason and the endless mob BS, I just don't get it.

Is there a 12 step program for getting GH off my back?

Mallory, keep fighting the fight because this is a wonderful place for me to come and read the snark. I have been regulating myself to just reading transcripts of the show because its quicker and it still blows my mind anyway. YouTube also helps with only the scenes I hear about from other blogs. Show still sucks donkey balls and at this rate its a horrifying accident to me just to keep on reading about how fast and far they continue to go to cancellation.

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