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« Dear Kendall: The Hell Is Wrong With You? | Main | Truth Telling in Port Charles »

September 22, 2009

I Need A Cassadine To English Dictionary, Please

It is the height of blogging laziness to post a ridiculous quote where a character exhibits a startling lack of self awareness and then make the obligatory Inigo Montoya "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" quote that has been done to death in the blogosphere, but then Nikolas Cassadine says:

Nikolas, the guy who had sex with the woman his brother wants to (re-)marry: 'Cause you're family. And that means something to him. See, Lucky and I inherited this fierce loyalty gene from our mother.

and the only rational response is to quote The Princess Bride, because REALLY.

It's especially amazing that Nikolas doesn't consider himself to be merely loyal--oh, no, our Cassadine prince is is FIERCELY loyal. FIERCELY, BITCHES! Also, don't bring Laura into your reindeer games, Nik! She deserves better.

You know who else deserves better? The viewers. Can someone explain the "twist" in the Nikolas/Rebecca story for me? Speak slowly and use small words.

Ethan: [Laughs] For a million quid? Come on, how many people do I have to kill? Or if that's not it, let me guess. Uh... If I'm to cash this check, I must leave town and never contact Rebecca again.

Nikolas: Flip it.Cash the check... And keep Rebecca away from me.

Buh? This is the worst plan ever, between the "I'll pretend to like Rebecca and then she'll realize she can never replace Emily and she'll be totes burnt" and now "Let me write a massive check so that someone will keep the woman that was effectively out of my life but who I let back in so that I could string her along away from me!" It's so convoluted that I suspect Claudia advised him.

Comments

I must admit I was so confused as to why Nik would think Lucky would be at all broken up about Ethan pulling a Katherine Bell that I almost missed that. (Lucky's tolerating Ethan better now but in no way are they fiercely loyal brothers) But I didn't. Yes sometimes quoting Inigo Montoya is the only way to go.

So if this is Nik's idea of fiercely loyal...does that explain why his idea of betrayal is also laughable? Cause seriously....Rebecca's con didn't work so why is he all seeking revenge on her?

While I never did fully underdstand Nik's grand master plan with Rebecca...other than it looked like he was going to date and dump her....I'm even more confuzzled now. When I am confident that ETHAN is going to turn him down and eventually look like the good guy in all this and I'm not hating it in the least...THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG!

I assume this is Nik ditching his evil revenge plan, so I'm not having trouble with it. And he's paying Ethan to get him out of it instead of just explaining it to Rebecca and kicking her to the curb because Guza never actually knew what Nik's evil revenge plan was.

Louise...assuming you're right...and I do think you are..does this also mean I am now supposed to think of Nik as the good guy in this mess? The one who is trying to do the right thing but just can't because the evil forces of fate just won't let him?

Cause if I have to sit through the cannonization of St. Nikolas....I'm going to become fiercely loyal to Jason's gun.

If I ever meet Guza I will say "My name is Sarah. You killed my soap opera. Prepare to die."

That movie has a great line for just about every scenario :-)

I'm sorry, I barely paid attention to this scene because I was still WRITHING from the Lucky/Liz scenes. REALLY? We are going down this road again? LUCKY! PLEASE WAKE THE FUCK UP!

If you ask someone to marry you and the following happens:

1) She says "yes" but immediately follows the affirmative with "but I think we need counseling."

2) If she appears annoyed, flustered and all-around lacking in any semblance of happiness when you are in her proximity.

3) If she isn't "ready" to do the horizontal mambo with you but says she DOES want to marry you...

THE GIRL IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!! WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO FATHOM?

Why must they make Lucky into a pillar of stupidity at every turn? Basically, we are having an exact rehash of the Lucky/Liz relationship when she was boinking Jason, but now it's his brother. Let's face it - Elizabeth will sleep with the entire town, including Spinelli, before she'll consider Lucky's bed.

Ugh. You know, Guza, they have these things called prostitutes? Getting laid might be a nice first step toward improving your writing skills.

(Although my husband is convinced Guza is being PAID to ruin GH - they don't want to cancel it without a good reason, but soaps are definitely on the decline - and writing them HORRIBLY will just get them there all the faster).

Ahh but Rene...if they didn't rehash this exactly the way they did with Jason/Liz..then the entire push that Nik/Liz is sooo forbidden..and is so hot because of said forbidden nature is by definition gone. And since clearly Guza has no other story for that pair other than that...given the fact all their dialogue is eitehr about Lucky, Rebecca or Emily....well then he has to put Lucky there if only so he can tell this storyline he conceived one night while troweling the internet looking for stuff to get people talking.

Maybe Nik's big master plan includes pretending that the check was stolen/forged and getting Ethan arrested?

Yeah, probably not, but it would make more sense than paying someone to keep a woman away instead of just going on a trip and not mentioning it to her, telling your staff not to let her in, ignoring her when you see her, or some other action that doesn't consist of giving money to a con-man who was in on the scheme that you were supposedly seeking revenge for.

Beth R., of COURSE Nik is the good guy in all this! I mean, first of all, he's a man. Only women are sluts. Second of all, and I don't know if you've heard this -- but did you know the love of his life died a couple of years ago? She was perfect and an angel and he can no longer be held responsible for anything he does as long as he feels a little guilty later. (What? He has a son? He'll worry about that later!)

I do have to disagree with some of you that this is a Jason/Liz rehash. They actually built up that relationship over a period of time, the attachment was based on something, and her relationship with Lucky was falling apart for good reason. I didn't like where that ultimately led (10 months of lying and crazy people), but at least they bothered to earn it. This time it came from out of nowhere, is completely gross, and Liz and Lucky didn't seem to be having any problems from where I sit -- other than she is INEXPLICABLY not hot for him anymore. (And THAT is why she really needs counseling.)

As this story "progresses," I'm sadly finding I'm becoming no more articulate about it, and still keep resorting to "gross." Because it's SO GROSS.

So gross.

Louise I do agree with you that the build up or rather lack of build up is different...but holy moly the justifications are so close I am almost tempted to torture myself to watch old Jason/Liz insantiy inducing clips to check.

ALMOST.

And wait...you say nikolas has a son? when did this happen? I don't remember this at all. oh wait...is that the litle friend of Cameron's that is clearly more comfortable with Lucky than Nik? I was wondering why that kid was randomly hanging around Wyndemere on his own...but you know being Cameron's friend I assumed he was super smart and resourceful.....Thanks for clearing that up! =)

With his last remaining brain cell finally kicking in Lucky will realize that reREmarrying Liz is a HUGE mistake. He will see what a puffed up mess Nikolas has become and let his oh so fiercely loyal brother have at Liz freely as he steps aside to save his soul from another crushing.

Lucky will however get custody of Cameron, Jake, and even Spencer as he is the best parent out of the three of them.

Spencer sees more of Lucky than his Dad anyways, and enjoys having fun and being SEEN as opposed to being in baby boarding school overseas. And, if you can't obstain from sex while your kid is in the hospital for one night, than maybe parenting isn't for you?

The four men will live happily ever after and eventually Lucky will find a NON PC woman to fall in love with and marry and she will be amazing and love him as he loves her, I am available for this gig!

THE END

PS Grandpa Jackass never returns to PC but Grandma Laura does and she is as I remember her, fabulous and loving and fun!

Now, THE END

i heard Nik say his whole FIERCELY loyal crap and in my mind all of a sudden there was Cam right on que with his famous Bitch Please face...

I never liked or even understood this storyline. I hate Ethan and his greasiness, and I hate Rebecca and her raccoon make-up. The fact that they now have to drag Liz and Lucky into this crap annoys me to no end. I feel really bad for Lucky though. He really loves Liz and it's gonna really hurt him that his ex-wife/fiance and his brother are sleeping together. But it's crazy that he and Rebecca can't see that Nikolas and Liz are are deceiving them. But then again that's the magic of this glorious show. =)

Head exploding. Nikolas puts the Cassadines to shame. This has turned me into a Rebecca and Ethan fan. Yikes.

Liz has a one night stand with someone other than Lucky, winds up pregnant and once again Lucky thinks he's the dad. How much do we want to bet this is the next story Guza has planned for Liz/Lucky/Nik. I don't understand why it's so hard for the these writers to come up with original stories.

If I ever meet Guza I will say "My name is Sarah. You killed my soap opera. Prepare to die."

That movie has a great line for just about every scenario :-)

Oh my Sarah, I'm still laughing at this one.

This has turned me into a Rebecca and Ethan fan. Yikes.

And I begin to suspect this was their plan all along.

The two characters were failing miserably. Instead of cutting their losses and admitting that they made a mistake, they've decided to drag well-established, popular characters (that they seem bored of writing for anyway) through the mud in order to make those two look good.

I hate that the writers continue to repeat the same storylines. Why can't Liz divorce a guy and not remarry him. She married Ric and Lucky twice. When will the realize that Elizabeth dosen't want Lucky? I'm so okay with the Liz/Nikolas storyline. I love Elizabeth and I'm always excited when she has a storyline that gets actual screen time. I know I'm not the only one tired of seeing Sonny, Jason, Carly, Claudia and Sonny's bratty kids on the screen evryday.

How about Nik quoting Inigo Montoya to Luke:

"You killed my father, now prepare to die!"

I might just tune back into GH to watch that. It would be a "challenge" for me to do it but I'd consider it since Luke is already dead to me anyway. I don't watch anymore. If there's no Laura, for me, there's no GH. But, I DO so love your posts. They always make me laugh and sometimes, I even spit my water!

P.S. Or quoting Vizzini to Luke over EVERYTHING that's come out of his mouth in the last 2 + years regarding his "love" for Tracy and his "love child" Ethan: "INCONCEIVABLE!"

I think Guza does want GH to get cancelled-- I agree with poster above. I am so glad I stopped watching. The only I watched was for RObin and Patrick -- now that they are married I can't watch to see how Guza will destroy their relationship. This Nikolas Elizabeth is just an awful idea. I read your blog and I still don't understand why Nikolas would get back together with Rebecca then sleep with Liz. Poor Lucky--what does GH make the character such a sap....it is a waste

You know, I probably had a comment to this whole ridiculous show...and then Sarah summed it all up for me. I'm at a loss for words:

If I ever meet Guza I will say "My name is Sarah. You killed my soap opera. Prepare to die."

That movie has a great line for just about every scenario :-)

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