I'm Unhappy Just To Dance With You
When I first learned of the AMC dance marathon, I naturally thought it was a terrible idea,since I have the misfortune of watching this show during the Carruthers/Pratt era, and am all too familiar with the knowledge that terrible is effortless for them. I was, however, hopeful that it would at least be terrible. You know, the "so wrong, it's right" kind of bad where you're afraid to miss a minute because of how campy or over-the-top or ridiculously awful it could be. And this had the potential to be all of those things at once, what with the dancing and the distressing fact that basically none of these people can dance (Vincent Irizarry. OH EM GEE. I wanted to look away out of respect for him, but I couldn't stop watching. He has so little rhythm that it's hypnotic) and...it's a freaking dance marathon that will last two weeks, written and produced by hacks of the highest order. How could that NOT be awesomely bad?
Well, it turns out that even when you expect the show to hit rock bottom in terms of quality, it still surprises you, because this dance marathon is not addictively bad, it's merely dreadfully dull.
Yes, there is the added ludicrous element of all of these people (including Trevor David Jr., because a dance-a-thon is a perfectly reasonable place for a baby to be hanging out, and excluding Kendall, who is in her secret hole in the wall whipping herself into a territorial frenzy) in the same place, dancing for charity, but that is ALL that is different about the show. Other than the new setting and the added bonus of Tad roaming around playing oh-so-hilarious emcee, all we're doing is rehashing the same stories that we've been rehashing for weeks while the writers drag their feet and take their sweet time deciding how to resolve any of these plots. Liza is still all over Zach, Kendall is still jealous of Liza, Amanda still has RIDICULOUS plans, Ryan is still suspicious of Annie and Randi is still a pretty mannequin--oh, sorry, I meant she's still haunted by what happened with Henry. Didn't we all get that at the beginning of August? Can this show do ANYTHING right?