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« Generally Unhospitable | Main | You Take The Good, You Take The Bad... »

September 15, 2009

In Which We Turn To Mad Libs To Make Sense Of This Show

I literally have no words.

Except OMFG LIZ HAD SEX WITH NIKOLAS

Liznik

And OMFG SHE THEN ACCEPTED LUCKY'S PROPOSAL.

Lucky: I love you, Elizabeth, I always have. And I always will. I want you to marry you because I know this: we can make it last.

Liz: I think we should get the counseling, to work on us, to figure out what comes next.

Lucky: Does that mean...?

Liz: Yes. Yes, I'll marry you. 

So I turn to you, dear readers, and ask you to make sense of this ridiculous show for me by filling in the blanks:

The [ADJECTIVE] General Hospital writers made the [ADJECTIVE] decision to have Liz and Nikolas [VERB]  and then had Liz (who is acting completely [ADJECTIVE]) accept Lucky's proposal because the [ADJECTIVE] writing staff is filled with [ADJECTIVE] [NOUN]s who wouldn't know quality if it [VERB]ed them in the [BODY PART]. This [ADJECTIVE] show is [SYNONYM FOR WRETCHED]. If I were Sonny Corinthos, I would [SONNYESQUE ACT OF VIOLENCE] to/at it. But, thankfully, I am not Sonny Corinthos (although right now, I am enjoying Sonny more than Nikolas which is a(n) [ADJECTIVE] turn of events that reminds me that when these [ADJECTIVE] writers put their minds to it, they can ruin anything) and instead will settle for [MORE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE WAY OF VENTING  ANGER].

Comments

I had convinced myself I hallucinated this...cause REALLY? REALLY? GROSS!

I'd fill out the mad libs...but vomit has spread all over the keyboard and well I have to clean it up.

Kanye West is classier and does better thought out stunts than this show.

Today's mantra is.....

Who cares how shitty GH is when JACK ABBOTT WORE KHAKIS TODAY.

It's the little things that keep me from breaking every TV in my home. And a casual sexy Jack Abbott saved me from destroying my televisions today :-)

Jack Abbott wore khakis! Can we get a screencap?!?!?!?!

"Kanye West is classier and does better thought out stunts than this show."

LMAO!

True. Sad...but true.

$50 says that Liz gets knocked up by yet another man whose name is not Lucky Spencer.

I think most of those slots could be filled with variations on "fuck" or "ass". . .

Crude? Yes. But I am incapable of coherent, thoughtful analysis of this fucking asstastic piece of crap show.

I wonder if Guza is trying to totally put the hammer to LNL66666? Otherwise, why have Liz sleep with Nik? I saw the Liason look at the carnival via YT, so did Lucky, which is WHY he asked Liz to remarry him. Lucky knows Liz loves Jason and not him, he should suck it up, and go find another woman...

Oh man. I hope this doesn't turn into another "who's the daddy" story. I'd rather another track suit wearing ghost come back then endure this.

Mel, don't even joke about it.

Poor Lucky. I'm getting more and more curious what our gorgeous Greg Vaughan could have possibly done they write Lucky this way.

You know I wanted Nik and Liz for ages but crap not like this. WTF is the show thinking. After Emily's death was a perfect time.

Also Tyler posted in his blog this episode was definitely going to swing fans one way or the other. Well it swung me against Nik and Liz. Why. Lucky is awesome and a god. Nikolas has been a pretty horrible character lately with this ish and with the Rebecca nonsense, who by the way I am actually liking now. Her scenes with Edward last week were really nice. Or maybe it's just because Nikolas is about the most repulsive character on the show these days. When Sonny looks like Mother Teresa something is wrong.

OMG no words. Liz is a whore. Nikolas is actually pretty horrible these days. A pairing with 2 non rootable characters? Yeah a match made in hell.

Actually I'm becoming more and more convinced that Tyler got Bob Guza's "I'm going to write you an Emmy" speech that he gives from time to time.

i'm of two opinions when it comes to what Greg Vaughan has done to deserve this....

1- nothing. This is Guza's ongoing quest to marginalize and try to make us all forget that as the first son of Luke and Laura Lucky, not Jason and Sonny should be the center/hero of the show.

2- Given Guza's crush on Steve Burton...I'm going with he's been hitting on Greg for years and Greg finally told him it wasn't ever going to happen.

If there is another fecking WTD I will fly to LA and stab Guza in the neck with a rusty fork myself.

Oooo, I'll play!

The [MORONIC] General Hospital writers made the [PULLED-FROM-THEIR-ASS (probably not an adjective, but...)] decision to have Liz and Nikolas [RUT LIKE WHORISH PIGS] and then had Liz (who is acting completely [PSYCHOPATHIC]) accept Lucky's proposal because the [IMBECILIC] writing staff is filled with [BRAYING][JACKASSE]s who wouldn't know quality if it [KICK]ed them in the [COLD HARD BLACK HOLE WHERE THEIR HEARTS USED TO BE]. This [COCKSUCKING] show is [PUTRID]. If I were Sonny Corinthos, I would [THROW BARWARE AND SCREAM "BETRAYAL!" (gotta go with the old standards)] at it. But, thankfully, I am not Sonny Corinthos (although right now, I am enjoying Sonny more than Nikolas which is a(n) [MIND-BLOWINGLY DISGUSTING] turn of events that reminds me that when these [NOT-EVEN-GOOD-ENOUGH-FOR-WRITING-TELETUBBIES] writers put their minds to it, they can ruin anything) and instead will settle for [YELLING "IT's A FASHION DON'T" AT EVERYONE WEARING WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY].

It's just another of Guza's plot points - what happens when Elizabeth is torn between two brothers. Never mind there was no buildup, no reason for her sudden attraction to Nikolas and no real reason for accepting Lucky's proposal - Guza was going to have this triangle and the characters will do what they have to do to make it 'work'.

I feel dirty for even having the episode on my DVR, I almost want to replace it. I found myself wanting to google, "Is grain alcohol legal in the state of NY?" repeatedly. I would also like to find out if that doctor from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is available because I would very much like for this to be erased from my memory. This has made me hate Nikolas, Elizabeth, marriage proposals, candles, islands, castles, sofas, royalty, Greeks, black lace, tattoos, HGH, music, self-tanner, and sex. I am officially celibate.

I don't even watch this show anymore and the first thing that popped into my mind is "great, Elizabeth is going to have yet another kid fathered by somebody who is not Lucky."

Poor Lucky, he just never gets a break. Liz used to be one of my favorite characters but this habit of marrying Lucky when she's in love with somebody else is rapidly destroying any affection I have for the character.

Let us all say a prayer of thanks that the cringe-inducing "Would You Like It" song was not used. The Nikolas-Liz sex (I refuse to give them a couple nickname) was vomit-inducing enough on its own.

The certifiably retarded General Hospital writers made the douchebag decision to have Liz and Nikolas go totally against character and then had Liz (who is acting completely uncharacteristically slutty) accept Lucky's proposal because the idiot writing staff is filled with idiot morons who wouldn't know quality if it kicked them in the nuts. This ridiculous show is barf-worthy. If I were Sonny Corinthos, I would have Jason kill it. But, thankfully, I am not Sonny Corinthos (although right now, I am enjoying Sonny more than Nikolas which is a(n) awkward turn of events that reminds me that when these retarded writers put their minds to it, they can ruin anything) and instead will settle for sitting in a corner and longing for the good days on GH.

I mentally filled in all the blanks with some form of the word fuck. I'll spare everyone the actual filling in of said blanks because I think my computer might overheat from blushing at the language it would be using. Needless to say, it worked surprisingly well. If GH had any semblance of good taste or good sense, they would be compelled to find such an outcome troubling. But... they don't, as evidenced by the Nikolas/Liz nastiness. I hope Lucky rips into both of them when he finds out (and he damn well better find out soon, writers. None of this "keep Lucky in the dark so he looks like a shit AGAIN" business!)

I think Cam needs to give his mom his "Bitch, please." look. Because that perfectly describes my thoughts when I watch Elizabeth's scenes.

I was just thinking that every adjective, verb and noun started with the letter F. Great job!

I am horrified. I have not watched this show in a year, yet have kept up to date with it via this hilarious blog. And now it is interfering with my ability to do even that, because I want to have no knowledge of the train wreck that is now GH. Thank, GH writers, for finally destroying my favorite character of the past 12 years (Liz) and giving your show NO redeeming qualities that could possibly make me want to watch. I won't even watch for Patrick and Robin with their lack of screen time and fear of what could become of them. I hope this show is cancelled.

But thank you, ladies of Serial Drama, for never ceasing to entertain me!

Well, now, I just LOVE MadLibs, and given that I fast forwarded through the ENTIRETY of the horror that was the LIK sex scene, I find this may relieve some of my angst.

The [DOUCHEBAG] General Hospital writers made the [ASININE] decision to have Liz and Nikolas [DO THE NO PANTS DANCE] and then had Liz (who is acting completely [BATSHIT]) accept Lucky's proposal because the [HELMET-WEARING-SHORT-BUS-RIDING] writing staff is filled with [TOTAL ASS CLOWNS]s who wouldn't know quality if it [FUCKED]ed them in the [POOP SHOOT]. This [SHITCAKE] show is [VOMIT INDUCING]. If I were Sonny Corinthos, I would [HURL MY TRACK SUIT] to/at it. But, thankfully, I am not Sonny Corinthos (although right now, I am enjoying Sonny more than Nikolas which is a(n) [CRIKEY FUCK] turn of events that reminds me that when these [LEATHER-HEADED DUNG-NUGGET] writers put their minds to it, they can ruin anything) and instead will settle for [GOING TO CARNIVALS AND POPPING THE BALLOONS OF SMALL CHILDREN].

I hate this show. Hate hate hate hate hate.

OMG Rene. . . . "leather-headed dung-nugget" may be my new favoritest insult EVER.

And extra props for working the tracksuit in there, too.

LOL - "Leather-headed dung nugget" is one of those things you can call someone, and while they are standing there with their mouth open, wondering what the hell you just called them, you can stroll away with a smile....HEH!!

I sorta liked it. I thought it was a little loud and wet but for the most part I thought it was hot. OK, it was really staged and produced. But I'm pretty sure I liked it.
Sure, it was contrived as hell and not very hot but I've seen worse.

OK, I have to think about this a little more.

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