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« I'm Unhappy Just To Dance With You | Main | Dear Kendall: The Hell Is Wrong With You? »

September 20, 2009

The Curious Death of Colleen Carlton

If there were some sort of governing body that regulated the production of soap opera storylines and I became its leader after a well-organized and awesome slogan-filled campaign, one of the very first soap plots I would banish would be killing off a young character from an important family for kicks.

BECAUSE I AM SO DONE WITH THIS.

Drowning

Killing off Colleen was a TERRIBLE idea. Not quite as terrible as murdering Georgie Jones and Emily Quartermaine in the same heinous sweeps story, but terrible nonetheless! Yes, she was a nonentity for the past year or so. And yes, she was, more often than not during her time on the show, completely pointless. And YES, Tammin Sursok was such an awful recast that "Tammin Suresucks" quickly became the third most popular keyword search leading people to Serial Drama. But she's Traci Abbott and Brad Carlton's daughter and that alone should be enough for her and her heavily accented portrayer* to be written off the show by leaving town, or being in a coma, not killing her off! That's exploitative and lazy and I am trying and failing to see the point of it all.

*Really, as soon as Tammin Sursok realized she was out, she completely stopped even attempting to hide the accent. It was so blatant that I expected her to start peppering her dialogue with Aussie slang just to show how completely over it she was.

Divider

Wednesday's episode ended with Colleen finding her canoe salvation, and Thursday's began with her underwater. Was there a reason they couldn't show her falling out of the canoe onscreen? That seems like something I'd want to see. Well, not really want to see, but we're treated to painstaking details about Amber and Daniel's existence, is it really asking too much to see for ourselves how Colleen wound up underwater? UGH, LAZY.

So after being held hostage, and getting away through dumb (very dumb) luck, and finding a canoe, Colleen is eventually thwarted by a capsized canoe trapping her underwater and causing her to hit her head, which really just seems silly. I don't know if watching General Hospital has given me a case of blood lust or something, but wouldn't it have been more dramatic if Patty had actually shot her? Managing to drown after she ruined a dozen chances to get away is laaame.

Anyway, during the sixty minutes that it took her to die, she was sent off to a technicolor dream land and visited by her friends and family and Kevin, and they urged her to come back to them.

Colleendream

Colleenface

It was exactly as cheesy as it sounds.On the plus side, she didn't speak at all, so at least she ended her tenure on a high note.

Dream Lily did not try to hide her eight pounds of hair under a flimsy scarf which was helpful, in that I wasn't distracted with the giggles during her speech

Colleenandlily

but she could only manage cheap cliches for her bestie.

Lily: Every day, every second. Part of me is terrified. I'm not ready to die, not when there are so many things I haven't even done yet. And you know what I mean, because you're not ready, either. But I am fighting. I'm fighting, just like you said. Do you remember what you told me? That whatever the odds are, don't give up. And so I am telling you to fight, because there's no other way.

Yeah, Colleen hears that and is all, "You're right, I want to live so that I can sit and hear you yammer about yourself some more".

Kevin was predictably annoying

Kevin

Kevin: Man, did I screw up for what I tried to do to you. You had every reason to hate me, and you did hate me, for a really, really long time. But finally, you got to a place where you were able to treat me like a human being, when I wasn't even sure that's what I was. You wouldn't let the hate you had inside make you as broken as I was back then. You forgave me. I'm not broken anymore, Colleen, and partly, that's because of you. I was this monster. And you turned me into a friend. You know what that means, don't you? It means there is nothing that you can't make happen.

Also annoying: Kevin and Jana worrying about Colleen and reassuring themselves that they weren't as bad as they once were when they both, separately, tried to kill her. Nice sentiment, blahblahpeoplechangeblah, but it ate up a lot of screentime.

JT came for a visit and Thad Luckinbill should asked to be filmed in front of this setting as often as possible, because he looked hotter than he has looked in ages.

Jtandcoll

I enjoyed the reminiscing about their relationship, even if it is weird to remember that they were once together, since JT is now boring and married to Victoria, and Colleen is vapid and Australian. But back in the day, they were quite sweet, so I liked the shoutout.

Billy: Cock your head and say, "Okay, Uncle Billy," with that sassy smile of yours.

There came a point in the episode when I was only half paying attention, because even at her best, Colleen was not worthy of a dozen characters fawning over how wonderful she is, but when Billy said that, I misheard it as "with that sexy smile of yours" and I full body shuddered.

I shuddered yet again at her vision of Victor who, even when someone's spirit is dying, manages to be a dick of the highest order:

Victor: She's not some fragile flower. She understands. I can see it in her eyes. She isn't too proud of some of the things she has done.

Vicjackash

I want him dead, but more on that later.

Seeing John was a nice touch

John1

and a reminder that this senseless death is one of many senseless deaths in Genoa City but the best moment was when Brad came to take Colleen. I, of course, teared up. This is either because it was a genuinely moving moment or because I am even sappier than I thought I was, but still: sniffles.

Brad

Hands


But overall: cheesy and pointless! What will the repercussions of Colleen's death be? I see a few days of mourning in the immediate future, a few amazing Beth Maitland scenes and then the name Colleen will be dropped from Genoa City forever, except when it is needed as part of a list of the many sins of Jack Abbott, because there is no way this Patty Jane shit gets blamed on anybody but Jack.

Divider

And then there's Old Vic, who becomes exponentially worse whenever he opens his mouth to smugly mumble. It's like, I think I hate him and then he says something and I realize that what I had before was merely mild dislike to the white hot hatred I have for him now.

Victorsmug2

Victor: I pledged my resources to the search. Authorities will have all the assistance they need.

To quote Christian Bale, "Ohhhhhh, good for you!" You bring a psychopath to town to help you in the latest battle you're waging on the same person you've been fighting for decades, she winds up poisoning your grandchild, killing your dog and now kidnapping a young woman and you "pledge your resources" to help find her, like you're totally even now? How fucking generous of you!

Every time that he smugly looked at Jack and Jack's TRUTHFUL allegations like Jack was crazy, I prayed for a Pet Semetary homage and for zombie Zapato to run into the ranch and attack his former owner.

Victor: How dare you come into my home and make accusations? You know nothing. You have no damn proof, do you? 

Jack: Proof that you brought Patty Williams to town to kill me. It must scare the living crud out of you that it's all about to come to light.

Victor: Are you the victim in this, Jack, or what?

Jack: Oh, you slapped a bull's-eye on my forehead and sent an unstable psychopath in my direction. What do you call it? 

Victor2

Victor: Why don't you and I do something, Jack Abbott? You take your sins and crimes, I take my sins and crimes, and we put them on a table, let them lie next to each other, and we'll compare them. And then we'll see who's left standing. How's that?

Victor: You come to my home and vomit garbage about your family, how much you love them and protect them. You are the one who manipulated Colleen to assume that seat on the board of directors. She was not qualified for that, and you knew it. She was in way over her head. You watched her sink. You didn't do a damn thing, did you?... Don't you come into my home and talk to me about family love and family values, you got that?

You know what I've got, Victor? LOATHING. How on earth is giving Colleen her rightful seat on the board of directors AT ALL comparable to what Victor has done with Patty? And right now Colleen is missing and he won't even take a second out of his busy schedule to even pretend to feel remorse or, at the very least, mere concern for his wife's missing niece.

I think, and this is a very serious statement I am about to make, but: I think I hate him more than Sonny Corinthos and Ryan Lavery. Like, the seething hatred Jack had throughout their confrontation?

Jackseething

That is a pitch perfect imitation of my facial expression whenever Victor is onscreen. The hatred burns!

Comments

"you guys all need a life! its a soap!"

Yes, because we spend a few minutes discussing soaps, surely we must not be doing anything else the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day.

mz2005, it's a tease, sweetie. Get over it.

Funny write up, I'd rather watch Colleen than Amber, and if I see that squirrel one more time Im going to pretend to stop watching. I swear.

THis is how I see it playing out based upon how the timing seems to be going. Victor is going to die and he is going to need a heart transplant to live because part of his heart will be shot out. Then Tracy will be convinced that Colleen has no hope of living and that she'd want to donate her organs and, of course, only she is compatible with Victor so she should be the one to donate her heart. We will then go on forever of the continued Abbott - Newman hatred because Colleen is dead and Victor is alive only because he has her heart. I am so OVER Victor Newman. I cannot understand how Eric Braeden can stand playing this character. He is horrible; this whole story is written horribly. Bill Bell has to be rolling over in his grave...to coin a phrase as I don't know if he's in a grave. Anyway, I'd like to see Colleen live just to have her go away to come back in another storyline, another year.

So which member of the Abbott family is next to die? The writers never seem to kill off any members of the Newman family. The last one had to have been Ryan at his wedding to Victoria. So far in the past year or so John,Brad(he was married to both Ashley and Tracy, Ashley's baby and now Colleen. Are the writers trying to get rid of the Abbott family the same way the show wrote out the Brookes sisters years ago?

Unfortunately they will never kill off Jack!
:)

I love the article and everyone's comments! Glad to know that I am not the only one bothered by all of this! Props to the post by Rebecca J.. all of my concerns exactly! The actress who plays Abby is quite possibly the worst I have ever seen..ever. I would have loved the Colleen/JT storyline to have played out again. Victoria aggravates me with her 'my dad can do no wrong' theory so I wouldn't have shed one tear if her and JT split up. And I don't think I have ever hated anyone the way I hate Victor, and Jack can be an ass but I feel sorry for him.

Good call mz2005 - maybe TPTB mistook your dislike for the actress and felt the character needed to go. What a shame we won't know.

why is colleen off the show? Beside the fact they killed her off

Just watched this episode in Australia. Can't believe they got rid of Colleen. Yeah I liked AL in the part. I thought she was a great casting and looked like she could be the daughter of Traci and Brad. However, that being said, I also liked TS in the role as well. Especially as an Aussie who's been addicted to the show for over 25 years, it's nice to see Aussie actors in roles when the show is screened down here too (though 1 year later). It makes a great connection for us having watched DG and TS in homegrown shows before their big leap to the U.S. And yes in a way TS was miscast as she looked nothing like her parents onscreen, but it's always easier to dislike someone new in a role, when you have gotten used to a former actor in it such as AL. I thought she did a great job and could really feel the connection with Lily as her best friend and JT as her first love.

In a way the writers have written Traci out of the show as well now and that is a shame. I don't feel the same way about the show as I used to anymore. Writing the Carlton's out in my mind was a big mistake and Victor has turned out to be such a dastardly fellow when he was originally a real hero. So many deaths of long time characters (eg. John Abbott) in a few short years shows a lack of originality and little respect for fans. And what's with all the sympathy in the writing for Phyllis? She used to be a maniac. Gonna take Y&R off my favourites list and not bother tivoing it anymore. :(

I think Tammin did a wonderful job lasting as long as she did with the non stop comparisons to Adrienne and people almost blaming her for taking the role. No one gave her a chance. Maybe had the public been more supportive the role of Colleen would still be part of Y&R. It is so easy to blame the writers ect but the truth is if the actress had support then the role would have been kept.

we are much behind watching y&r on tv geneva (aug 21st 2012)why letting colleen die in such silly way this rather disgusting and stupid like all the rest if this american nonesense!!

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