To Be Fair, The Fair So Far Is Fairly Amusing
I have complete faith that, no more than eight minutes into the next episode of General Hospital, the show will unleash a metric ton of fuckery that will make the half-hearted compliments that follow completely moot, but today's episode was vaguely decent, no?
Yes, despite featuring Spinelli dressed like a clown
(I'm not quite self-absorbed enough to think that the writers are trying to goad me, personally, into a nervous breakdown, but on the off chance that is the case, they're certainly going about it the right way! A nemesis AND my greatest fear, combined into one grease-painted, babbling buffoon)
and some of the worst soap acting this side of Passions
(I...my word, has being out of the soap acting game for a while complete eroded Martha Byrne's skills? Or was she this bad on As the World Turns? I complained so often about how all she did was stare blankly or dart her eyes nervously, but that is far preferable to the stilted line readings and ridiculous faces)
and the inclusion of violence in a story that doesn't call for it
(This is not surprising, but it is annoying all the same)
and a Quartermaine in peril
(Again, not surprising. Also, I just saw an episode of The Golden Girlsfeaturing John Ingle as a colleague of Miles. He was as adorable as you'd expect in his professor garb!)
..I still ended the episode not wanting to assault my television set while The Geto Boys play in the background. So that was a nice way to end the week!
The show stumbled, completely accidentally, upon the perfect niche for Sonny. Not leading man, not all powerful mobster; no, the best way to make Sonny enjoyable is to have him interact with kids, because he was downright enjoyable today. I don't think my fingers would actually let me type the word "adorable" as a descriptor for Sonny, but he almost kind of was, today!
Since he will probably never face jail time or any other repercussions for his heinous misdeeds, perhaps the next best way to rehabilitating his character is to give him Mac-level screentime.
The dunking booth was so silly and hilarious. I loved seeing something that was meant to be pure fun on this show, which is usually so morose and angry. And every single cast member seemed completely gleeful to be a part of it, which was lovely to see.
Plus, it led to Patrick in a towel!
His smack-talking (to quote Kelly Kapoor: "I don't talk trash; I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like 'Your Mama's so fat she could eat the internet' but smack talk is happening like right now, like 'you're ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there". Can The Office come back, like, now?) was amusing.
Patrick: Come on. You throw like a girl. What was that?
Robin: I am a girl. You happen to like me that way.
Patrick:Well, I don't like the way you're throwin', so let's see what you got.
Lulu: Prepare to take a swim.
Patrick: I'm so prepared.
And the fact that he, and a bevy of other Port Charles men (but not Lucky? Greg Vaughan is pretty much made for being part of a dunking booth scene!), were taken down by Molly was hilarious.
She is fast becoming one of my favorite Port Charles children with her sass and her math skills.
Molly: Well, actually there's a simple mathematical formula. You see, "r" times distance times the circumference of the ball equals the force necessary--
Morgan: That's math, not baseball.
Molly: It'll work. I know it.
I feel like Jason and Sam have a lot of issues to work through before I can take them seriously as a couple. You know, the "you are responsible for my son's kidnapping" and "you threatened to kill me" kind of issues. But I have to admit that there has been something very sweet and appealing about them lately. It's so rare to see Jason flirting and fun. And Kelly Monaco works so well in light-hearted scenes! It's a win/win.
Claudia's threatening demeanor towards Kristina amused me. That is a weird sentence to type...
Claudia: Maybe. This is kind of a public place. I don't really wanna talk about it right here, but, you know, listen. I've been wanting to ride the ferris wheel for the longest time. It's pretty private up there. You know, nothing more private than dangling 50 feet in the air. What do you say?
Like, is she going to attack her on the ferris wheel? This will be even more hilarious than all of her other plans, since her certain failure will now take place in midair!
And on top of all of that positivity, Max and Diane made me laugh out loud. Literally. Well, maybe it wasn't a full-on peal of laughter, but I did chuckle!
Max: You know what? I feel like a sexual, uh--a sexual abject or a--
Max: You know what I--
Diane: Max, the word is "object."
Max: Thank you. That's what i meant, a sexual object. See? You said it.
What is happening to me?! I don't think I'm high...Oh, well, I'm sure things will go back to normal on Tuesday. And by "normal", I mean "making me want to stab things", which is GH's natural state.
Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason