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« I Need A Cassadine To English Dictionary, Please | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

September 23, 2009

Truth Telling in Port Charles

If you looked really closely at today's episode of General Hospital, there were two notable golden moments that made me laugh out loud. Literally, which is something that I rarely do.

Unfortunately, you had to look REALLY closely, since it was easy to miss them in the midst of the crap that this show offers up as "entertainment", such as:

  • Claudia's dangerous psychosis: when she slithered into Johnny's hospital room and started talking in an oddly stilted, breathy voice, I was convinced that the psychotic break we've all been anticipating was on its way, and that she was either going to smother or dismember him.
  • Claudia's insistence on detailing every step of the procreation process to an audience who has committed no crime serious enough to earn that as a punishment

Sonny: You're not pregnant.

Claudia: Not yet. So do you want to go upstairs and fix that or stay down here?

  • Maxie's hysterical immaturity, and I mean "hysterical" as in "a mental disorder characterized by excessive excitability", not hysterical as in "Hilarious": I can't even. 
  • Spinelli's babbling: I gather there was something about Jason's pink tie, and their BFFship, but to be perfectly honest, I fast forwarded so hard that I have blisters on me fingers.
  • Maxie's hair: How did this cacophony of fug make it past the censors?

Maxiehairside

Maxiehair

BUT, if you ignore all of that, there were two fantastic lines.

Olivia: Sonny... If you get this woman pregnant on purpose, I pity all three of you.

To be honest, Olivia has been irritating the hell out of me, and the fact that Olivia has been everything from hypocritical to holier-than-thou to quite nearly as dangerously crazy as Claudia as far as the Dominante/Sonny relationship is concerned does cheapen the awesome a bit, but the really fantastic part was her accompanying hand gesture:

Olivia

Raise your hand if you think this is a sly commentary on Little Sonny!

And then the man, the myth, the guy they throw onscreen every so often and usually to bumble or bluster ineffectually: Mac Scorpio, succinctly summing up the "W" portion of "WTF is wrong with Spinelli?"

Mac

Mac: How can you endorse this wedding? You know, not only is Spinelli practically his own species, but he's a hacker who works for organized crime, all right. When he's not the target of mob violence, he's an accident waiting to happen.

THANK YOU, Mac, for speaking the truth, both about Spinelli not being human and being part of the mob. Which, reminder, Port Charles cheerleaders of this tragic union, is not the kind of person the police commissioner wants to associate with.

Patrick doesn't seem to get this, though:

Patrick: Yeah, well, that's great for you, but it doesn't change the fact that Mac wants to see Maxie with somebody that has a stable job, like a banker or a lawyer.

Like...Mac is not concerned with this wedding because he's a stereotypical overbearing mother who wants her daughter to marry a doctor or banker, he is concerned with this wedding because he is THE POLICE COMMISSIONER and wants his daughter to marry someone who IS NOT A CRIMINAL. Why is this concept so complicated for people?!

*Screencaps courtesy of LisaW!

Comments

LONG LIVE THE AWESOME MAC! May there one day be a writing team that recognizes his awesomeness, his truthiness and gives the man a freakign love life! (And they also stop teasing me with the potential awesomeness of Mac/Alexis and GIVE ME MAC/ALEXIS!)

The whole concept of not wanting to marry criminals would not be so hard if Patrick lived in a town where such people weren't regularly deified and held as the savior of the free world. And you know...not seen as good babysitters. (That's right..i'm still WTFing over that nonsense!)

and hands in the air...So a comment on Little Sonny!

Sonny's eenie teenie DEVIL peenie...HA!

This is off-topic, but a few things have been bugging me: I don't think I've missed any episodes, although a local crime thing pre-empted some of one episode, but why has no one mentioned Max? Last I saw, he had been hit by the car at the Carn-Evil from hell, and was in the hospital with spinal damage. I haven't heard Jason or Sonny mention him. Also, is Carolyn Hennesey still on the show as Diane? (I just saw her tonight on Cougartown) And if so, why did no one call her when Max was hit? Any answers or thoughts?

Mac was awesome today, nothing is better than Mac being the truth teller :-) And he is such a great dad. Best in PC by far. JJY is a solid actor, he pulls off comedy and drama with equal skill and grace.

Now to the graceless, Claudia. The skeeviness between her and Sonny and her and Johnny and her and, well anyone is off the charts. Her plan to get reimpregnated is even more offensive this time around. WOW, never thought that was even possible.

And WTF was the deal with her ordering a drink from the bartender for future possible morning sickness? She did that crazy shit even before seeing Carly was there to rub it in her face. So she is basically running around PC announcing she is trying to get pregnant to random strangers because she has no friends? She is even nuttier than her Papa.

I am not sad that she is leaving. I wish SB well. I just pray Claudia won't be back in a year or so with yet another Sonny Son. SO in a sick Guza way I hope her death is super duper graphic and violent so there is no way for her to ever return. Yet, we have Rebecca so there are no guarantees :-(

How much you wanna bet when Johnny woke up and saw Claudia hovering at his bedside, he thought the angel of death was coming for him.

My wish is that they get rid of Claudia and Olivia in one swell foop.

What in the hell was that thing on top of Maxie's head?

Mac rocks and I'm so pulling for a Alexis/Mac pairing.

There are no bounds to Claudia's skeaziness and when I think the character can't get any more loathsome, she does.

I'm like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when it comes to Olivia. Some days I want to smack some sense into her and the other days I want to give her a high five.

Scrubs were cute even if Patrick wasn't really getting it. Personally, I think Patrick just said any old thing because it doesn't matter to him either way if Maxie marries Spinelli or not. I happened to agree. I'm so over it. If Maxie is dumb enough to marry someone simply because she doesn't want to hurt their feelings, let her.

i think part of the problem is they have mac act that way about ANYONE his girls date, so if it's actually valid for once, he still comes off as crazy-overbearing. i mean, one minute he's throwing a fit about patrick or dylan, and the next he's upset about spinelli. maybe if they could write him as reasonable more often, his words would actually have more weight and meaning.

Does it annoy anyone else that for absolutely NO reason past or present that Molly and Kristina are so prominently featured in this "wacky" Spixie wedding ceremony? Because with all the many vast things that annoy and infuriate me about GH, nobody else has mentioned this specific annoyance yet and that worries me. I may now be the most annoyed GH viewer. Time for me to let it go huh? That, or never watch it again w/out a cocktail to ease the anxiety ;-)

The Davis girls have no history with either the bride or the groom. The closest thing to a connection between these four people is that Spinelli was once at the Lake House and provided Alexis w/ weed while she was struggling from the chemo... and that led to her losing custody of Molly! Is that really a connection that warrants her having a reading at the ceremony? Could Guza really not find another way to have Molly walk in on Jasam sex for that funny lecture she gave Jason?

Where is Spinelli's Granny, or how about Sam to do a reading, or even Johnny who just saved Spinelli's life and is also a friend of Maxie's? He even spends time and respects Diane so she would make sense. Or how about Robin or Bobbie or Lucas or Kate to read something on Maxie's behalf? It would be nice if the real families were involved and if this wedding was not just a way to give the mob and their offsping even more air time. And I adore little Molly! But this kind of thing just sucks toxic balls and reeks of Guza's hatred of all things GH he didn't create.

I'm gonna go grab a bottle of red to set out so I don't watch tomorrow's episode unprepared for the frustration, disappointment, and rage. A nice Argentinian Malbec perhaps....

From the mouths of Old Ladies:

So, I took my widowed 66 year old friend to Walmart--we all have our crosses to bear--and as we're waiting in line, she looks at the ABC Soaps In Depth mag, which has Spin/Maxie on the cover, and she's like, what are they? Why are children on a soap opera magazine cover?

I explained, he's an emo....after long explanation, her lip was still curled up. Fascinating that someone who's never seen Spin or heard him talk thinks he looks like a little boy and has no place being a soap lead.

And I told her that Maxie looks like a child because of her eating disorder, although she's actually 'heavier' than she used to be.

Kind of funny how the blind taste test says NO to New Coke.

Wow. I hadn't seen the episode till late last night, and I honestly thought those photos of Maxie's hair were distorted and stretched somehow. Now I know they weren't. And... I mean... what?

Guza tries to make make Mac come off like a lunatic when he is the only sane person in PC. Mac was right about Spinelli being a criminal so of course which is why I wanted to slap Patrick when he was going on about Spinelli not having a regular job. Mac was also right about disliking Patrick when refused to be a father to his baby for the longest time.

I do not believe that Maxie could ever be attracted to or love a caricature like Spinelli. I don't even believe her when she claims that he is good bed. Everything about him is revolting. Maxie's squeaking voice is even more annoying.

Please someone wake the world up and Port
Charles, these negative stereotypes on T.V.
And in real-life has to be stopped in order
For us to have our children in one piece,
Sonny should be killed off, to get Port Charles back to normal, take all of the
Women in that town to therapy and then get
Them brain surgery, to fix what is wrong
With them, mentally, that makes them fall
for these jerks and ass clowns!!!, I swear
I will take a knife to my throat and bleed
Guts!!!

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