Truth Telling in Port Charles
If you looked really closely at today's episode of General Hospital, there were two notable golden moments that made me laugh out loud. Literally, which is something that I rarely do.
Unfortunately, you had to look REALLY closely, since it was easy to miss them in the midst of the crap that this show offers up as "entertainment", such as:
- Claudia's dangerous psychosis: when she slithered into Johnny's hospital room and started talking in an oddly stilted, breathy voice, I was convinced that the psychotic break we've all been anticipating was on its way, and that she was either going to smother or dismember him.
- Claudia's insistence on detailing every step of the procreation process to an audience who has committed no crime serious enough to earn that as a punishment
Sonny: You're not pregnant.
Claudia: Not yet. So do you want to go upstairs and fix that or stay down here?
- Maxie's hysterical immaturity, and I mean "hysterical" as in "a mental disorder characterized by excessive excitability", not hysterical as in "Hilarious": I can't even.
- Spinelli's babbling: I gather there was something about Jason's pink tie, and their BFFship, but to be perfectly honest, I fast forwarded so hard that I have blisters on me fingers.
- Maxie's hair: How did this cacophony of fug make it past the censors?
Olivia: Sonny... If you get this woman pregnant on purpose, I pity all three of you.
To be honest, Olivia has been irritating the hell out of me, and the fact that Olivia has been everything from hypocritical to holier-than-thou to quite nearly as dangerously crazy as Claudia as far as the Dominante/Sonny relationship is concerned does cheapen the awesome a bit, but the really fantastic part was her accompanying hand gesture:
Raise your hand if you think this is a sly commentary on Little Sonny!
And then the man, the myth, the guy they throw onscreen every so often and usually to bumble or bluster ineffectually: Mac Scorpio, succinctly summing up the "W" portion of "WTF is wrong with Spinelli?"
Mac: How can you endorse this wedding? You know, not only is Spinelli practically his own species, but he's a hacker who works for organized crime, all right. When he's not the target of mob violence, he's an accident waiting to happen.
THANK YOU, Mac, for speaking the truth, both about Spinelli not being human and being part of the mob. Which, reminder, Port Charles cheerleaders of this tragic union, is not the kind of person the police commissioner wants to associate with.
Patrick doesn't seem to get this, though:
Patrick: Yeah, well, that's great for you, but it doesn't change the fact that Mac wants to see Maxie with somebody that has a stable job, like a banker or a lawyer.
Like...Mac is not concerned with this wedding because he's a stereotypical overbearing mother who wants her daughter to marry a doctor or banker, he is concerned with this wedding because he is THE POLICE COMMISSIONER and wants his daughter to marry someone who IS NOT A CRIMINAL. Why is this concept so complicated for people?!