Family Ties and "Family" Ties
Concerned that General Hospital viewers were only merely revolted with the show, and not hugely revolted (why they want their viewers hugely revolted is a question for another time and one I'm not convinced we'll ever have the answer to, unless "Bob Guza is craaaaazy" counts as an acceptable answer), the writing staff went to the incesty place.
Claudia: But she doesn't deserve you.
Johnny: Deserve. What the hell does that even mean, huh? I love her.
Claudia: NO. You think you do. I know. What you feel for her is infatuation. Johnny, you love me, and I love you, and that's the way that it's always been, and that's the way that it's always gonna be.
Sometimes the only plausible way to react is to run away from your television in tears screaming, "Kill it! KILL IT!"
While that was the only part of today's GH that had me wishing for amnesia, even if I needed a brain injury to get it, the rest of the show was filled with lines that had me rolling my eyes and scoffing.
- Kelly showing off her bedside manner.
Kelly: I want to keep you overnight. If the labor doesn't start again and you don't dilate any further, I'll send you home. We'll hope you carry to term.
Kelly is just the worst which, again, is not news, seeing as how she treated Maxie for weeks while Maxie was pregnant with a pillow, but her reaction to the (not even really that early) early labor of a woman who, for months, has been told to not get even slightly stressed out is, "Well...we'll hope for the best, but we're not counting on anything"? THE WORST.
- Jason is totally different from those other hired killers, because he has a good heart, y'all.
Sam: Ok. I mean, I--in a mother's mind I can see wanting a little... hey. At least you have a good heart. Ok?
Jerry was bad, because he kills and terrorizes people. Jason kills and terrorizes people, but he breaks for animals, so it's okay.
- Everything with Kiefer and Kristina was so cringe-inducing that I can't even discuss it. The actors together just...don't look right, and it makes me feel awkward and wrong when I watch them.
And then Dominante said this, and the world didn't collapse upon itself:
Dominic: I'm thinking about how hard it is for cops to actually win one. I'm thinking about how easy it is for the mobsters to make up the rules as they go and get away with literal murder. You know what else I'm thinking about? I'm thinking about the good guys who get caught in the crossfire and get mowed down on a sunny Sunday afternoon.
Obviously, Guza will have to punish someone for allowing those thoughts to be put into the universe, so I an anticipating a massacre of veteran characters in a poorly written, ill-thought out serial killer storyline. I hope Ignacio Serricchio is free during November sweeps!