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« Pratt, Prat, Prattle: Are We Sensing A Theme Here? | Main | The Day's Dumbest Dialogue (aka My Dog Is Smarter Than This Show) »

October 23, 2009

It IS A Mad World, In So Many Senses of the Word

If General Hospital continues to play "Mad World" at the end of every episode, I will be forced to update my list of Things General Hospital Ruins Without Even Trying and add Tears For Fears, Donnie Darko and Adam Lambert to a list that already includes cake, babies, Facebook, smackdowns of Jason Morgan and, of course, brain cells. Curse you, GH!

The song is, of course, being played in teaser scenes for an upcoming story that I believe may be the one involving James Franco, but I don't now for sure. Actually, all I now for sure is that a character is obsessed with Jason


(this is not at all surprising. After all, why should the new character be the only one on the show not obsessed with Jason?)

And that character also has very nice handwriting.


Six seconds of neat printing is the only thing I found to compliment this show on. I smell a repeat Emmy win next year!


The big story of the day was, of course, Jason finally uncovering what he long suspected and what he was on a lifelong mission to prove: Claudia "First I was thrown under the bus, and then they reversed the bus when I re-signed my contract, but now that I'm leaving, here comes the bus again" Zacchara was behind the botched hit on Sonny that put Michael into a coma.

If Monday's episode includes Jason telling all of the naysayers (namely Spinelli, who once again took up for Claudia on the grounds that she's been nice to him) to never doubt his godly instinct again and following that up with a Grace Adler "Told You So!" dance, my day--if not my life--will be made.

All throughout the episode, Jason was a tightly wound ball of aggression who was visibly irritated at his difficulty in getting the truth. I half expected him to take his gun out and fire a shot into the ceiling, just to relieve his frustration, but it's admirable that it never came to that. Luckily, when he and Sam went to GH to ask Patric and Robin for their help, contrivance (in the form of Epiphany) came in to mention something about belongings in the lost and found, and the foursome booked it down there where they were greeted with a skanky t-shirt of Patrick's (see below for more on that) and...a dufflebag of Ian Devlin's, both of which managed to survive the fire that destroyed the hospital. Imagine that!

And in Devlin's bag were CDs, which shocked and horrified Jason

"Devlin was the person who bought Heidi Montag's album! I knew he was a sick bastard!"

especially since the CDs contained recordings of Claudia ordering the hit on Sonny thereby sending this story into what I can only hope is the home stretch, because I can't take much more of this.

This was juxtaposed with Michael remembering Jerry telling him that Claudia was responsible for the whole thing


while Claudia, in Puerto Rico (where she pulled a gun on a rival mobster


and had Sonny translate angry threats for here in a scene so wonderfully ridiculous that I missed entire chunks of dialogue from my giggles) , was completely oblivious and thrilled beyond belief about the happy life she and Sonny were set to have.


Isn't it intriguing and dramatic to have her all happy while her world comes crashing down around her and a heavily armed man wants her dead? Yeah, "intriguing" is the word. It's extra hilarious that all she wants in life (besides mob power and her father's love and Sonny's baby and mob power and Sonny's love) is a birthday party, and even hilarious...er that she most likely going to get a bodybag for her birthday (I am not spoiled, I am just guessing. Because GH almost always interprets "off the show" as "off the mortal coil").


 Also in Port Charles...

  • Robin expressed insecurity over Patrick's former life as a manwhore, and mentioned that she'd like to rip out the eyes of Patrick's ex-girlfriends, which seemed to be a convenient setup for the upcoming story where Patrick's ex-girlfriend, played by Julie Mond, makes her way to Port Charles. How exciting and not at all derivative of other stories this couple has had does this sound?! It's so good to know that there are just no stories out there for a young, good-looking, medical professional couple out there and we have to repeatedly go to the "insecure wife/reformed manwhore/ooh, here comes a third party!" well.
  • Kristina and Dante had a conversation about the tendency of some guys to use lines to get a girl into bed and then ditching her--also known as the tendency to "hit it and quit it"--which was exactly as awkward and uncomfortable as it sounds.
  • Epiphany is alive!

    Who would have thought two years ago that I would be thrilled to see Epiphany, but here we are! Pip, Pip, hooray!
  • Kate and Olivia had a conversation that I didn't follow the whole way through, but went something like this:

Kate: Hello, cousin, I am here to lecture you in an icy, condescending manner.
Olivia: Yeah, well, I'm not going to listen.

Kate: I am bitchy, and imperious, and I rocked bangs both before you and better than you, and for whatever reason, the show decided to reward my awesomeness with a drop to recurring status and random appearances to play second fiddle to your lame story, but whatever, I'm just going to say my lines and let the show eat its heart out. You, Olivia, are a liar.
Olivia: Yeah? I am going to respond to your logical argument with OVER-THE-TOP SHOUTS and exaggerated facial expressions.
 Kate: Suck it, Hammy McGee. You only care about protecting your own reputation with Sonny and Dante and know that they'd look at you differently if they knew about the lies and the lying and the liar that you are. Ya burnt.
: I just got schooled.

  • Kate and Coleman were hilarious.


I am usually more skeeved than entertained by Coleman, but he and Kate are incredibly funny together, and I loved the fact that he responded with her suggestion to give him a makeover with "This isthe makeover". Hee!

Next week: the show will continue to be terrible, and Jonathan Jackson is back. Lord, beer me strength. Beer us all strength!

Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason!


I know that Maurice used to be a good actor. I've seen video of him around the death of Stone and he was very affecting. But boy is he terrible now. Those scenes with Claudia were painful to watch, even in fast-forwarding. He's joining the Tony Geary set-chewing club. And he is totally one note, except for when he was at the carnival and maybe was being more like Maurice than Sonny. I don't know. How I wish this soap would find a character that you could root for at the center of stories. It's getting to the point where I am morally embarrassed to watch.

That version of Mad World is totally one of my favorites...but I had to take it out of the playlist becuase well it's now assoiciated with Jason Morgan and CAN NOT HAPPEN! Ugh!

Oh James Franco..just tell me you lost a bet.

and they totally forgot the hospital burnt down in February....or that I don't know...someone OTHER than Jason/Sam would have thought to check his damn stuff before over a year after the shooting.

I loved your version of the Kate/Olivia conversation. It was dead on. I enjoyed Kate's scenes with Coleman also. They are funny together. I don't want them to become romantic but I would love for them to have an off-beat friendship.

Great blog Mallory! I liked the Kate scenes, few & far between as they have been, and appreciate you mentioning them. Your funny takes on the show is more entertaining than GH most of the time, so please keep it up! Thanks for always writing with such humor, wit, & dedication!

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