Pratt, Prat, Prattle: Are We Sensing A Theme Here?
I'm having a difficult time wrapping my head around the reveal of Stuart's murderer. Not because I am surprised--it's been heavily telegraphed the past few weeks to the point that even Reese, with her blindness and complete obliviousness to the world around her (how sad is it right now that I can look back on the Reese era of this show wistfully?) and even before that, many people guessed that Adam was the culprit. No, I am having a problem coming to terms with the fact that one soap opera storyline could be infused with so much rot.
- The decision to kill off Stuart was terrible.
- The half-assed setup for the murder itself, with the dark and stormy night, and the hysterical raging at Adam for circumstances almost entirely out of his control, and the parents leaving the side of the child they thought was dead to go confront someone who was not responsible for the death at all, was terrible.
- Turning the death (violent, of course) of a much-beloved character into a story almost completely about Kendall being suspected and eventually imprisoned, kind of, for a crime that she only wanted to, but did not commit (because Kendall hasn't had enough over-the-top drama this year) and Annie being crazy and/or crazy like a fox and/or the subject of a Pine Valley witch hunt (because we haven't seen that before) was terrible.
- The writing staff's understanding of the legal system (because picking up tips from Law & Order is out, since reruns of that show are such a rare commodity) was terrible.
- Randomly deciding that Marian existing is too offensive to bear and sending her off to the nuthouse was terrible.
- Having the show tread water for months while the writers came up with a plausible culprit, and having literally nothing happen, was terrible.
- Centering a large chunk of the show on Emma was terrible (not least because Emma scenes mean Ryan scenes, and if there is anything Ryan is good at, it's further souring things).
- The choice to have Adam be the murderer of his twin brother was terrible and while David Canary is going to rock everything related to this shitfest of a story, that doesn't make it any less terrible. If anything, it makes it worse, because they are exploiting David Canary's talent and grace and innate sense of awesome.
- Charles Pratt's crowing to the soap press about how effing clever he is and how shocked the audience will be by this turn of events was--it's not even terrible. Terrible does not do it justice. Atrocious is a bit closer, but still not descriptive enough.
I literally cannot even. All I can say is hate. "Hate hate hate. H!A?T!E? Hate! Hate hate. Hate? !!??!! Haaaaaate." And you know what? That sentence is just one word, repeated, with random punctuation marks, and it hints at an impending psychotic break but it is STILL better written than anything during the Pratt era of AMC.