And the Word of the Day Is...WHY?
There are days when I watch General Hospital and, quite frankly, don't understand anything that is going on. Like, at not one point over the course of the hour do I think, "Oh, okay, that makes sense". It's just question after question after question, and then I start to wonder if I've missed an episode, and then I realize that I DIDN'T miss and episode, and then I start to wonder that I have some sort of memory problem or some sort of hearing problem that causes me to miss chunks of dialogue in which character motivation and/or exposition is explained.
Of course, the most logical explanation is that the writers can't write for shit, but I am prone to both melodrama and hypochondria, so freaking out about a possible swiss cheese memory or deafness comes first. THEN comes the all-encompassing hatred of the GH writing staff.
Here are just a few of my many questions about today's show. Please note that I did not include the most important question ("How the hell does Bob Guza still have a job?") because the crazy theories we are sure to come up with as answers to that question could probably get us sued for slander...
- Why can Jason give up killing people for Michael, but not for his own son?
- Further, why is Jason giving up on murder presented as some sort of noble sacrifice? "Oh, that amazing man, he's going to stop KILLING PEOPLE! How noble and wonderful and heroic is that?"
- Why is Carly able to see that Sonny (occasionally) and Jax (distressingly often) are bad influences, but never includes Jason under that morally ambiguous umbrella?
- Why the hell would Lulu go to Sonny to warn him about a threat from law enforcement when it could get Dante (who has proven to not only be pretty great, but who also makes scenes with her worth watching) or Lucky (because I'm sure that there will be some sort of wacky misunderstanding where Sonny misinterprets Lulu's vague hints and assumes that Lucky is the one trying to take his organization down) killed? And why on earth would the show feel like she is in the right and worth rooting for?
- And why, for that matter, can Sonny--one of the show's heroes, remember--say things to Jax about how he'd have totally had him killed if not for Carly, and we're supposed to just say, "Oh, it's Sonny being Sonny"? What on earth happened to the powers-that-be in their youth that effed with their moral compasses?
- Why did James Franco have to choose THIS soap of all soaps for his grand soap experiment? I will no doubt find his story arc awesome because...you guys, I watched freaking Annapolis and won't say a bad word about it, so complimenting his GH story is going to happen almost reflexively. I apologize in advance, because I can't help it! But imagine if he was doing work on a soap that wasn't offensive on every single level?!
- Why did the ABC promo people include the phrase "expert killer" in their James Franco promo?! I had a very awkward conversation trying to explain the show to a non-soap watching friend, who was completely flabbergasted and somewhat judgmental about my taste in television ("What does that mean, 'expert killer'?" "He's a hitman." "So are you supposed to feel bad that he's not safe from James Franco?" "...yes?")
- Why is the show insistent on playing Adam Lambert's version of "Mad World" repeatedly? I know that their habit of running (all too uncommon) good things into the ground is nothing new, but it is irksome all the same.
- Why is Edward throwing an engagement party for Liz and Lucky? I think this question bothers me most of all, because it is completely bizarre! I know it is just a contrived way for everyone to be together so that the truth about Liz and Nikilas will come close to being revealed, but surely there was a better way to do that. Oh, look at me, thinking that GH could do something "better". I made a funny!