Better The Enemy You Know...
Have you ever sat and truly, thoughtfully reflected upon the destruction Charles Pratt has unleashed upon Pine Valley?
The answer to that is probably no, because why would you ever willingly do something so depressing?
(Unless you--like me when I was younger, inspired by a Baby Sitters Club book where Mary Anne mentioned that she reads the passage of Little Women where Beth dies anytime she is feeling down--actively seek out sad things to have a good cry. But in this case, it wouldn't be a good cry, it would be a horrified, angry, "How is he allowed to roam the streets without supervision and COLLECT A PAYCHECK?" kind of cry).
But if you DID undergo that sad exercise and dredge up memories better left repressed, you'd have a long list of terrible things and you'd see a clear pattern: everything he does is more awful than the last.
So it shouldn't come as a surprise, then, that the spoilers for upcoming AMC stories are so wretched that they spur a person to organize a large protest, or at least design an angry button to wear.
You sunk my battleship, Pratt. And you sunk it hard.
**Remember:SPOILERS will be discussed here! If you are trying to remain blissfully unaware of what's to come, don't read any further!
- Eva LaRue (ex-Maria) met w/ network brass about a return to AMC for the show's 40th anniversary, & was hurt when told that they could NOT fit her in...
Update: Eva LaRue actually IS going to be back,along with Laurence Lau (!), Taylor Miller (!!), Eden Riegel (!!!), Leven Rambin (...oh) and JULIA BARR (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I am excited, mostly, but at the same time, a bit uneasy about the character assassination sure to come. Like, sure, these actors all think they're doing something fun and honoring the show, and then they are in AMC's hackish clutches and...well, it's their funeral, I guess. I mean that literally: I am guessing that one of them will be revealed as Dixie's murderer and put on death row, and the rest will just die suddenly.
- Interview w/ Cameron Mathison, who shares that by the time Greens returns, Ryan & Erica's relationship will be very "deep"...
How is the FCC not completely up in arms about this vile, offensive pairing?!
Although he goes on to say that he's not sure if Greenlee/Ryan will be revisited, so perhaps the ever-adorable Greens will be part of a pairing that doesn't make viewers wish for blindness! Imagine that, putting an enjoyable actress in an enjoyable story! That would be zany!
- After Annie turns out to be pregnant, Ryan plants suspicions in Adam's mind about whether Scott is Annie's baby's father. Erica also tries to get Scott to confess, but Scott is adamant that he & Annie never slept together. Adam ends up w/ surveillance footage of another steamy Scott/Annie kiss, & Scott admits that he is attracted to Annie, but that she truly loves Adam.
Geez Louise, there is not one sliver of intrigue in this story. I wish David Canary was not such a consummate, amazing professional and that he would just give this writing the performance it deserves, i.e., showing up on set hours late, unshaven, and mumbling words in a monotone, not making eye contact with anybody.
- Zach becomes suspicious of Kendall's e-mails (sent by Aidan), tracks his wife down, & sees Kendall & Aidan having sex (Aidan has drugged Kendall's wine).
There is not enough "What the fuck?" in the world. Why...? Like, who says to themselves, "Remember that guy, I think he was, like, Scottish or Australian or British or whatever. The one with the accent? And that time that he was offscreen for, like, six months? You know what would be fun? If we fired him and then went out of our way to write him off in the worst possible way. That would be hilarious, dude"?
Let's sum this story up with a nice game of Mad Libs!This [EXPLETIVE] show is [ADJECTIVE], and this latest [ADJECTIVE] plot in a long line of [ADJECTIVE] plots is so [ADJECTIVE], [ADJECTIVE], [EXPLETIVE] that it makes me want to [RYAN LAVERY ACT OF VIOLENCE]
- Annie collapses in a pool of blood, miscarries, & winds up in a coma.
HOW IN THE WHAT IN THE WHY?
I am baffled. How is that even...the school system failed these writers in a major way.