I'll Let Their Words Speak For Themselves
This is a complete cop-out, because a statement comprised of five characters is not exactly insightful or witty commentary, but all I can manage for today's episode of General Hospital is "...oh."
(Okay, maybe not ALL I can manage, but MOSTLY what I can manage)
Franco: Any commitment longer than an evening make me break out. Your ex never has to know about tonight.
Maxie: But I would know.
Franco: I'm going to pretend that that self-pitying drivel didn't just emerge from your lovely mouth.
Maxie: Wow, you really know how to charm the pants off of a girl.
Franco: Your pants are already halfway down your thighs.
"...oh. That...is actually a pretty disgusting piece of dialogue and if someone like Sonny spoke those words, I would probably be lobbying my Congressional representatives in order to have General Hospital banned from the airwaves, so I admit that I am being hypocritical by admitting that I wasn't actively disgusted by James Franco saying it, and admitting hypocrisy kind of cancels out the act of being hypocritical itself, doesn't it? No? ...oh."
Sonny: Her brother is investigating the case, and when Lucky finds out that Luke set up the meeting, it's going to get ugly. Lulu's right in the middle. And there's nothing worse than a father and son on opposing sides.
Dominic: Wow, this is really bothering you.
Sonny: Lucky... This terrific kid chose to be a cop and I hate that when I talk to him, I have to keep my guards up.
Dominic: What, you think he's got something on you?
Sonny: Not yet. He's probably going to figure out that Luke has a connection first, right? Can you imagine, your own kid investigating you? I mean, it got me thinking. About my own life, and what I've done with my life can buy Morgan, Kristina and Michael anything they want. They can go to a great college. They can start a business, anything better than what I had, better than the life that I'm in right now. But I pray that none of my kids ever become a cop.
"...oh. Aside from the pounding headache I have from being walloped in the face with three tons of irony, because get it, Sonny's kid IS a cop and IS investigating and isn't the GH writing staff so clever, and aren't you jealous of their brilliance, are we seriously being told that being a cop is, literally, the worst thing that could ever happen to a human being? We are? ...oh."
Jason: Ok, so what if somebody shows up in the wrong place at the wrong time and sees the wrong thing? Do I have the right to kill him?
"...oh. The show's leading man and moral center is having a crisis of conscience over whether or not he should kill someone who could logically be just an innocent bystander--although unbeknownst to Jason, that's not actually the case because the person is a stalking, leering, throat-stomping crazy, but whatever, as far as he knows, this is just a random down-on-his luck hobo who, I don't know, was scrounging for food and then saw the Messiah of Port Charles right in front of him after having just killed someone and he was so overwhelmed by seeing the master do what the master does best and gave a jolly wave--and we are supposed to sit, interested in his moral dilemma and not at all skeeved out at what this show has become...oh."
Sam: Jason, I know you. I know your heart. I know you are not some immoral killer who is drunk on power. I know you are not some animal who is out killing because it makes them feel like they're something special. You're doing what you have to do to protect you and yours when you are threatened. You have great instincts, and you have to trust them.
"...oh. Jason's a killer, but he's not a KILLER...oh."